The Divergent Games
by Annabella Matthews
Summary: The five factions were formed to put an end to war and battles. Then another problem arose: the Divergent. They were uncontrollable. The Erudite had no choice but to start the Divergent Games. Every year, the Divergent are sent to battle to the death. This year, it's Emilia Wilson's turn to Choose. She finds out that everything isn't what it seems to be.
1. Prologue

The five factions were demolished to put an end to the wars started by Jeanine Matthews, costing the life of many. Another rebellion occurred, with the Erudite setting up the faction system once more. The Erudite especially were pleased with their work. They had helped organize the army to defeat those outside the fence, and now, their society was living in peace again. Then, another problem arose from the middle of nowhere.

They were known as the Divergent.

Their very existence sent the Erudite sprawling for ways to control them. It wasn't until a few years ago, the Erudite leader decided to eliminate their very existence. There were too many of them and too many for them to handle. He continued on teaching to the next Erudite leader in line who quickly grasped his knowledge and led on what was known as the yearly entertainment, the Divergent Games.

Each year, as the sixteen year olds took their aptitude tests, an Erudite would be sent to watch their tests. That way, no Divergent would be able to escape by a simple change in test results. No one was brave enough to change the test results; not even the Dauntless. It could result in punishment that could end in death.

The very same year, those sixteen year olds who were Divergent were thrown into an arena to fight to the death. The winning Divergent, the victor, the last one standing, would be returned to their home faction. They would be watched closely for the next few years, but they would allowed to live. However, because they were allowed to live, whichever Divergent came next from their faction, they would have to be mentors, helping the next Divergent go through the process of the Games. But almost every victor ended dead before the Choosing Ceremony.

Now, the Divergent Games are run by none other than the Erudite leader. She has hatred against Divergent and no one knows why. She claims they ruin the factions by not following the rules and resisting any attempt of fitting in. She says that they must all die. She makes the Games more vicious each year, doing her very best to eliminate all Divergent.

It's time for the Divergent Games to begin.


	2. Chapter 1: The Aptitude Test

It's that time of year again. The Choosing Ceremony and all the aptitude test buzz. Except this year, I'm going to be taking the test. I already pretty much know what faction I'll be choosing. The same as my mother's: Erudite. I'm smart and I'm already pretty much guaranteed the spot of becoming Erudite leader. Besides, if I did choose another faction, I have my doubts on passing initiation. After all, I'm smart, but I'm not brave, kind, selfless or honest. Especially not selfless.

I hear rumours of people, people in my year, worried about getting the result "Divergent". No one likes that result. It guarantees you a spot in the Divergent Games, and the Games are no joke. Most of them, even though they know saying that they are Divergent could result in punishment, say it, so their friends can comfort them. I'm sure I'm not Divergent. My mother isn't and so how could I be?

I'm waiting in the cafeteria; waiting for my name to be called. I don't know which Erudite I'll be having to supervise my aptitude test, but I hope it's a familiar face. People who I don't know watching over my shoulder would be strange.

I sit up straight as the Erudite around me babble about things I couldn't care less about. I see from the corner of my eye, Dauntless guarding the doors in case any Divergent try running away. It has never happened, but it could. I see some other Erudite, keeping their eyes peeled for any signs of Divergent. It's a lot of security, but I agree with my mother. Divergence does not have a place in society. They just wreck our society to pieces.

"Hey, Emma," says a boy beside me. He nods at me stiffly. "Are you choosing Erudite?"

I don't know who this boy talking to me is. Everyone seems to know me because of my mother, but I just don't know them back. Still, to be polite, I answer.

"Yes," I say, slightly annoyed. "What other faction would I choose?"

The boy shrugs. "I don't know," He says. "Maybe Dauntless? Or Amity?"

I purse my lips. My "Divergent" alarm goes off. If he thinks of choosing another faction, he may be Divergent. I'm only saying that because for the past few years, the amount of transfers have decreased. Mainly because people were afraid that if they transferred, they would be watched carefully because Divergent could fit into other factions. So it's not entirely true that the boy may be Divergent, but I know I will be keeping an eye on him.

"That's nice," I say curtly, "but can we keep this Divergent talk to a minimum?"

He seems to have noticed what he has said wrong, and keeps his mouth shut. That will do some good for him. But now, _I_ have my doubts. I knew I was Erudite from the start, but now thinking about it, I don't know how smart I really am. Am I actually smart? I don't know. Compared to my mother, no, but how about compared to others? Maybe? Yes? Maybe I'm not fit for Erudite.

I shake those thoughts away as I smooth my shirt. No, I am fit for Erudite. I was born into this faction. I can serve it. I watch as others are called up. I watch as the boy beside me is called up. He looks nervous. I can literally feel his nervousness. I have to hide this nervousness he hasn't hid well.

The Erudite leader strides in, her posture high. Her eyes sweep the room before she enters one of the testing rooms. They must have found a Divergent. I see the whole room tense up as she walks out, a crying girl beside her. The girl is Amity — I can tell by her red and yellow clothes.

I have seen many Divergent cry on their way into my mother's office. But I never have seen them cry when the walk out. It feels worse on this end and I actually feel bad for the girl. But I quickly tell myself she's Divergent and look away from her. When I hear her sobs fading away, I look back. The Erudite leader's eyes are on me now. She doesn't speak but when an Erudite taps her on the shoulder she heads into another room. Another Divergent. How many could there be?

On normal occasion there are about two to five Divergent. But if in the beginning we have already found two Divergent, that could mean this year we could have a lot more Divergent. That's not good.

"Emilia Wilson," calls the Erudite woman.

I quickly scurry up, accidentally banging into the table. I wince slightly, trying to cover it up. I see some Erudite sniggering from behind me but I ignore it and follow the woman as she nods at a door. I open the door to see an Abnegation woman. She looks like every typical Abnegation. I'm surprised I got an Abnegation because of the amount of Abnegation in our community. Most Divergent are from Abnegation and so there are very few people who choose that faction nowadays. Not only that but the rare few transfers come from that faction. A long time ago, Abnegation used to be the faction with the least transfers. Now, it's the most. It's a faction I have been raised to hate since birth.

Mirrors are all over the walls. There is a reclining chair in the center of the room. I see a Dauntless standing in the corner. I'm surprised because usually Erudite are the ones to observe aptitude tests. That must mean my mother doesn't think there really is a point on wasting an Erudite on me. She knows I'm not Divergent. I look at the Dauntless. I recognize him. We used to hang out all the time when he was an Erudite. He was three years older than me, but that never separated us. Now he's a Dauntless leader if I remember correctly.

"Get comfortable," says the Abnegation woman. She's young. She probably is about twenty years old or so. She smiles as I sit down nervously. "Don't worry, nothing here will hurt you." She starts to busy herself with the machine. I watch, awed.

"My name is Leanna." She adds.

Leanna presses an electrode to my forehead. She looks solemn now as she pressed another electrode to her head. She does something which I don't see because I'm busy regarding the Dauntless. Those years I haven't spoken to him have made me forget his name. I don't remember him, but it's so strange because we were so close those few years.

I look away from him as Leanna passes me a vial. Inside is clear liquid. I feel nervous. I know I should trust her; the aptitude tests have been running for years and years. But I don't know if I can. Abnegation and Erudite are enemies. I don't know if this is part of the test or if she's just trying to poison me.

"Drink it," she says when I make no move to drink it.

I hesitate. "But —"

"Trust me," Her voice is lower now. "Just drink it."

My hands shaking, I tilt the vial as the liquid content tips into my mouth. Immediately, my eyes close until I'm surrounded by darkness.

* * *

When my eyes open I find myself elsewhere. It's strange because I was certain a few seconds ago I was in the testing room. I turn and see a table in front of me. There are two baskets on the table. One basket has a hunk of cheese and one basket has a knife. I stare at them for a few seconds, unsure what to do.

"Choose," says a familiar voice.

I'm almost relaxed but then I remember this isn't real. This is a simulation, the thing my mother makes. I'm still in a test. I look at my options. I don't feel like moving to get either. And holding a knife doesn't feel safe right now. I glance, looking back and forth from each object. Which one?

"Choose!" repeats the woman's voice, this time harsher.

"I can't!" I say, looking back and forth quickly, panic building up.

I know deep inside that this isn't real but it feels and seems so real I almost forget. The tone in the voice is scary, and when I actually spoke to that person, rarely did she scream at me like that.

"Then you won't get a choice," says the woman and the table with the basket fades away.

I stand in the middle of the room as the door creaks open. I turn to see who it is. I see myself facing a dog. It's growling at me like I did something wrong. I want to run but I'm not very athletic. The dog would catch up to me in a few seconds. I wish I had chosen faster. I know I'm indecisive but I never thought it would impact me. Now I was about to die. In a simulation. It was just horrifying.

"Good doggy?" I say, my voice going up.

The dog barks and I cover my ears. Why does it have to be so loud? I remember trying to ask my mother for a dog once. We Erudite don't have dogs because they're useless. But still, I wish I had one so I would know what to do in this situation. Then I remember: I do know. I read a book on dogs because I thought my mother would get me a dog after seeing how good I was with them.

I kneel down and pretend I'm a dog. I then lean on my elbows. I look at the ground, nervous to look up in case I accidentally make eye contact. Then I feel it licking me. I smile, hoping that means it's okay with me and I get up, patting its head. It's cute when it's not growling. I don't see why I can't get a dog. They're cute and amazing.

"I'm going to name you Johnny," I say, grinning.

I almost want to play with the dog until I remember that I'm in a test. I get up slowly and just as I'm about to do something with the dog, a girl's voice from behind me shouts, "Doggy!"

I turn to see a young girl running at the dog. The dog growls again and it looks like it's about to rip the girl into pieces. I don't think; I just act. I run at the girl and bring her down. Without thinking I turn at the dog who is jumping at us. Despite how cute it was a minute ago, I jump at it, taking it down with me. I grit my teeth to keep from screaming as its teeth sink into my skin. When I hit the ground, I black out.

* * *

When I wake up, I'm shaking uncontrollably. I can still feel the dog, tearing at my skin. From the way Leanna's mouth is wide open, I can tell either she's shocked from my choices or she's just new to the whole administrating thing.

"Give…give me a moment to process this," she says weakly.

She turns away from me, but from the way she seems to be breathing ragged, I can tell there's something wrong. The Dauntless, whatever his name is, looks at me with a look. I can't tell what it is. Is it bewilderment, pity, anger or all three? He seems to be debating over something before he heads out, shaking just as hard as Leanna. When he leaves, Leanna turns to me, her face pale.

"What's wrong?" I ask, sitting up. "Did I mess up the test? Did I fail?"

"You can't _fail_," Leanna says miserably. She sounds like she wanted me to fail. Why? "But in your case, you might as well wish you have."

"Wait, what?" I ask, leaning forward. "Leanna, tell me what's wrong. Now."

I think I see tears threatening to spill out from Leanna's eyes. I don't know why. She just wipes the tears as she turns away from me. I'm not sure why she's so upset. Is it because I got Erudite and she thinks transferring is bad and so she stayed in Abnegation but she an Erudite wannabe? I'm very confused. It's a horrible guess but I can't think of any other explanation.

"Your results were inconclusive," Leanna says, turning back to me. Her eyes are red. "Emilia, that means —"

The doors suddenly open, colliding with the walls as they do. My stomach sinks as I see the Erudite leader walk in, flanked with Erudite around her. Her eyes are hard as she focuses on me. Then I know.

I'm Divergent.


	3. Chapter 2: I Am Divergent

In front of me stands the Erudite leader, her eyes fixed on me through her glasses. Everyone clears out of the room, including Leanna who gives me a sad look before hurrying out. The door slams shut, leaving me with the leader of Erudite who looks murderous.

"What I don't understand is how any child of mine could be Divergent." She says slowly. I look at the floor, face red. "You've betrayed me, Emilia. You're Divergence makes me look like a hypocrite."

"But I'm not —" I start.

"I don't want to hear any of it." My mother says, silencing me. "This year we have a new record of nine Divergent, and now you, ten." Her eyes pierce into mine.

"I will say what I say to every single Divergent I have ever met. You will go to the Choosing Ceremony as per usual. You will not line up with your fellow classmates, but instead, beside Connor. Then, at the end you know what happens." She pauses. "Head out through the back doors. Don't let anyone see you. I don't think I can live with this. A Divergent, under my roof." She looks away from me.

I feel like I'm about to cry, but I hold it in. I'm not going to look weak. But my mother literally just said she thought I was something horrible in society. I take a deep breath and ask, "Who is Connor?"

My mother sends a glare my way. "Stop stalling, Emilia, and get going. Now. I don't want to see you."

I really don't know who Connor is but I hurry out anyways because once my mother's mad, it's not something anyone wants to stick around for. As I head out from the back doors, Leanna stops me in my tracks. She grabs me and quickly pulls me to a corner before letting go of me.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

I nod stiffly. "Yes," I say. "It's nothing…just a talk."

"Don't play dumb with me," Leanna says, her frown deepening. "I know you're Divergent and…you're in the Games now." She takes a shaky breath. "I wished I did something earlier."

I glance around nervously. Saying things like that could result in punishment.

"Leanna, helping me is against the rules." I say, unsure what else to really say to her. "You can't erase my result or change it. That Dauntless was standing over your shoulder, watching. And besides, you'd be punished for it."

"You're too young," Leanna says, her eyes drooping. "All of you Divergent are."

I don't know what to say. One wrong word and I'll be punished even more, and possibly, so would Leanna. So I don't say anything and just pretend I don't see her tears falling as she wipes them away. Sixteen is technically young, in a way. We have just started becoming adults.

"There's nothing you can do," I say. "It's over. But…I have a question." I take a shaky breath, unsure what to say next. "What were my results?"

Leanna smiles a bit. "You're powerful, a really powerful girl and Divergent." She replies. "You got a total of three factions. Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless.

"What?" My voice drops low. "That's impossible. It literally is impossible to get more than two."

"Not if you refuse to choose," Leanna says, smiling fully. "It's possible."

I stare at my hands. I got Dauntless and Abnegation? I'm not brave. Or selfless. I'm smart. That's all. But my results proved otherwise. I'm brave, selfless and smart. I'm Divergent. I'm different. That difference may cost me my life. I nod, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my blue clothes. I don't fit into one faction; I fit into many. That's what Divergent is all about, isn't it?

"I'll see you at the Choosing Ceremony. I hope." I say and turn away.

"Hey, Emilia?" Leanna suddenly says.

I turn back to see a small smile on Leanna's face.

"I have complete faith in you that you will do fine," She says.

I don't know what to say. I don't even know if this is just Abnegation, being selfless, or what. But something makes me think that she's not just saying the words. Maybe it's her smile. Maybe it's her tone. But something about her gives me hope; hope that I might make it out of the Games alive.

"Yeah," I say, stunned. "Thanks…I think."

Leanna's smile fades as she sees some Erudite coming our way. She looks at me in the eyes.

"You're like your father, you know," she says quietly. "He was always a strong man."

"He's dead." I say thickly.

There's a knot in my stomach. Never has anyone compared me to my father before. My mother doesn't mention him. Not to mention, Leanna is young. She seems too young to know who my father was.

Leanna just nods. "I know," she says. "I used to know him. He was a great Abnegation. I wish…I wish he never left." She smiles a bit. "He used to always cheer us up. I wish I could do what he did for you."

"Wait, what?" I ask, stepping forward.

"You have to go," Leanna says suddenly, opening the door for me. Her smile is completely wiped off her face now but as I pass her she says, "He was the greatest man I have ever known."

As I pass through the doors, I wonder how. In fact, my mother has never mentioned my father to me before except that he was a transfer. I wonder why he transferred from Abnegation to Erudite and how Leanna knows him. It's strange because Leanna is young and my father was at least thirty when he died.

I decide to walk home. Avoiding people is the best idea now.

As I walk home I see the boy who sat beside me walking home too. He must be Divergent then if he was sent home early. He stops to tie his shoelaces, and as he does, I pass him. I look back once and he locks his eyes with mine. Some sort of understanding passes between us; one that means we each want to be left alone. I ignore him and walk as fast as I can.

I predicted right that he was Divergent, but for the first time in my life, I wish I wasn't right. I used to think being right all the time was a good thing. But now, looking at it, maybe it's not. Sometimes being wrong would be better. Now being placed in the situation where I am Divergent and I am about to face a situation where it is life and death…I don't wish that upon others. I'm ready for the Games though. I'm nervous, but I will show everyone that Divergent are still people. I will.

Maybe I am selfless. Maybe I am brave. Maybe I am smart.

Maybe I am actually Divergent.


	4. Chapter 3: The Choosing Ceremony

When I wake up the next morning, I'm tense all over. I didn't get a good night's rest because of everything that has been going on. My results said that I am Divergent and I still don't believe it. My mother hasn't spoken to be since the results and no other Erudite has even looked my way. When I walked into the building yesterday, coming back from the aptitude test, one look on everyone's face and I could tell they somehow had found out I was Divergent.

I had quickly walked past everyone, my face red. I felt so embarrassed. All those years my mother had been anti-Divergent and now her own daughter was Divergent? Either those people thought my mother was a hypocrite or I was some kind of traitor. Neither was true though, and I just wish I could tell someone that but I knew, no one would listen. Being Divergent was the worst thing anyone could be in our society. It was even worse than being factionless.

I'm pretty sure the boy behind me had gotten worse reactions. Rarely did any Erudite happen to be Divergent. It's strange how every faction seems to have their own Divergent population but Erudite, no, we seemed to never have them. The boy and I are probably the first in ten or twenty years. It ruins how long the Erudite have gone without having any Divergent. I don't know why I'm Divergent if my mother isn't, but there must be a reason. Everything has a reason.

I quickly slip into my blue Erudite clothes even though they don't feel right. I don't feel like I'm Erudite anymore. I feel like I'm nothing. My faction acts like they don't want me, and my mother acts the same way. I want to cry, but I hide the tears. I can't seem weak to them. Especially now that people know I'm Divergent, I have to stand straight and tall to show them that it doesn't bother me. Their threats, their mocks and insults won't bother me at all.

My mother waits for me at the lobby where I quickly meet up with her. Without speaking, she walks away before I even reach her. I know she saw me, but the fact that she doesn't want to be seen walking with me is what hurts more. I don't show her that and just quickly walk a few steps behind her.

We take one of Erudite's solar paneled cars to the Hub. I used to be in love with researching about the cars, but now knowing I barely have a few days to live I barely care about the cars. I think about all the things I could have done… Then I shake my head. How am I Abnegation? I can't stop thinking about myself for a minute. I'm not even brave. I can't fight off the feeling of tears pouring down my face. I'm not smart either because if I was smart, I would have bribed the Dauntless into letting me go. I pinch myself so I don't cry.

My mother doesn't say a word while we are driven there. I'm going to be as honest as a Candor: I've never seen her not talk. It's strange seeing her not blabber out scientific facts and I feel like it's a good change. I never realized how talking a lot about facts could be boring until now. I look outside the window.

I imagined myself growing up in Erudite and getting married. Now I know that's all a dream. I'm never growing up now. I won't get past the age of sixteen unless I'm the victor of the Games. What are the chances of that? I'm not from Dauntless; I can't fight. I'm not even good with plants. If I was, I would be able to survive off wild plants in the arena that's built for the Games. My only advantage would be my knowledge and my smartness. But since the arena is run by people of my type, I'm no longer sure that I have any advantage.

The contestants, or known more as tributes, would be sent into an arena. Depending on whatever the Erudite thought, they would make an arena based of a certain theme. For example there could be water as a theme and the arena would be flooded with water. It has happened a couple of times, but mainly the arena has been a forest. The tributes therefore do more entertaining things for the audience. The audience is normally Erudite because they like to study how Divergent react and act overall. Rarely do normal faction members tune in to the Games. People get hurt and killed in the Games and people just don't like seeing that stuff.

The strange thing is, I'm going to be the first Erudite tribute in a long time. I haven't seen an Erudite tribute in my whole life. Every Game I've watched only has tributes from Abnegation, Candor, Amity or Dauntless. Usually most come from Abnegation.

I silently follow my mother out of the car and we head into the stuffed elevator. I see the Abnegation going up the stairs. I would never do that. How am I selfless? It's just not right.

I'm pretty sure I catch a glimpse of Leanna but the Abnegation all look the same to me so I'm not sure. When we get to the floor and get off, my mother walks in another direction where the leaders or representatives go. There is always one faction leader directing everything but the others stand in the back politely. They are there in case any faction member decides to attack the leader calling out the names. It hasn't happened at every Choosing Ceremony I've been to, but I've heard rumors of it happening once. That's why the other leaders are placed there. The Choosing Ceremony must go on.

I'm about to walk where the kids my age are standing in order according to their last name. A Dauntless stops me. He looks really scary as he pushes me back, holding his gun out. I'm Divergent and I'm sure he knows which is why if I make the wrong move, he will pull his trigger.

"Go to Connor," He snarls.

"Who's Connor?" I ask, unsure whether or not he'll answer.

He tilts his head in the corner of the room where a group of kids stand, some with red eyes. I recognize the Amity girl from yesterday and the Erudite boy. I stand corrected. _We_ are the first Erudite tributes in a long time. We are the tributes, the people, who will have brought shame onto our faction.

Or I should say, my birth faction.

The guard starts poking me with his gun and I walk forward slowly when I recognize the Connor guy. He was from my aptitude test. My friend from so long ago turned me in. I feel angry but I can't blame him. He was just doing his job. My mother was too. Faction before blood, isn't it?

"Hello Emma," Connor says.

I don't speak to him. I see him look crestfallen. What does he expect? I'm not going to say hi to someone who put me on my death bed. I ball up my fists. Maybe he doesn't realize, but my life is soon going to be over. It's then when I realize: I don't want to die yet! I'm too young.

I stuff my fists into my pocket and try to calm. I'm on the edge. I want to run away but I'm not sure where. And if I tried, I'm pretty sure the cars would be able to catch up to me.

"Hey, are you okay?" asks the boy who I saw walk home.

I nod slowly, looking at him. I never really looked at him closely before. He has dark brown hair and dreamy brown eyes that would make girls go crazy over him. But they won't because he's Divergent. He was too quiet back in school to be that kind of kid anyways.

"Yes," I say, straightening up. "I'm fine."

The Choosing Ceremony is starting, and even though we're supposed to watch, us Divergent whisper. Connor doesn't complain, I suppose because even he is bored. My mother is in charge this year. She reads the manifestos and goes through the same routine each year.

The Amity girl is all by herself. Most of us are close to where the bowls are but she's the farthest away. I don't have any interest in the Choosing Ceremony and I know meeting anyone will make it harder for me to kill them in the end, but I still want to. Besides, can I really kill? I don't want to become a murder machine I'm not. Although I won't be the one killing in the beginning, in the end people always kill and I just don't want to become that type of person.

I stand beside her, leaning against the wall.

When she sees me, she stands up, straight and tall. She's slightly shorter than me, but not by much. There's barely a difference. I don't know why I notice small things like this anyways. It really doesn't give me an advantage over anyone. I shake my head. I can't let thoughts like these get to me. I'm already thinking about the Games and how to win them. Besides, it's not even official I'm the tribute until after the Tribute Ceremony. That's when if any other "hidden" Divergent or Divergent that have managed to sneak away without being caught can volunteer to take the place of another tribute.

Rarely are there volunteers, and most volunteers tend to be Abnegation. There hasn't been a volunteer in so long, so I don't have high hopes of being replaced. The tributes who are replaced basically have an extra year to live or they are just watched super closely if they are cooperative. So technically, there really is no point in volunteering.

What the volunteers don't know is that they are putting their family at risk. I know because one year when I was young, someone volunteered. I remembered my mother putting in extra hours at work, investigating the family and also looking for who administrated the aptitude test so they could punish them for letting a Divergent past them.

By making sure only Divergent are entered in the test, the volunteers go through another test after the Choosing Ceremony, slightly similar to the aptitude test. Usually the volunteer passes the test and so that's why the official tributes are named during the Choosing Ceremony. However, one incident which I've heard of, where the volunteer turned out to not be Divergent, they were sent back home and watched carefully while the tribute the person had replaced came back.

"I'm Jenny," the Amity girl pipes suddenly.

She shakes me out of my thoughts. I nod stiffly at her.

"Emma," I say, though technically that's not my name.

Only my mother calls me by my full name, Emilia, but everyone else calls me Emma. Emilia is my birth name but I have never actually been called that by anyone except my mother. Emma feels much more suitable for me than Emilia anyways. I feel like Emilia isn't even my name.

"You nervous?" asks Jenny. Her eyes don't show the slightest bit of worry.

I shrug nonchalantly, but I am nervous. She doesn't look nervous and I wonder how she can be so calm. If I remember correctly, she was crying yesterday. Now she's acting cool like nothing happened. I really like how she hides her fear. Almost like…

"Dauntless," I blurt, accidentally speaking my thoughts. I slap a hand over my mouth as Jenny gives me a strange look. Then I explain hastily, "One of your factions must have been Dauntless, right?"

Jenny stuffs her hands into her pockets.

"Heck, why not?" She says, giving me a grin. "Everyone knows I'm Divergent anyways. To answer your question, Emma, yes I did. You too, right?"

I blink, confused at her. How could she tell I got Dauntless? I'm not taking this as easily as she is, but I nod, rather slowly. A silly smile spreads across her face. She puts out both her hands.

"Do you know how to play —?" She says something I don't catch.

"Sorry, what?" I ask, unsure if I heard her correctly.

Jenny sighs but then grins. As my mother calls up the names, Jenny teaches me some kind of hand game that I must admit, is kind of fun to play. We play several rounds until Connor nudges me. He points at my mother who is finishing up with the Choosing Ceremony. Now it's time for her to announce the Tribute Ceremony.

We are forced to walk onto the platform, standing behind my mother. We are separated by our faction. I stand with the Erudite boy. Jenny stands with another girl from her faction. I see my competitors. There are two Dauntless standing behind each factions' Divergent. They are there in case we decide to run. Connor and some other Dauntless leader stand behind us.

Jenny and the other Amity girl. Two boys from Candor. There are three boys from Abnegation and a girl. Including the boy and I from Erudite, and none from Dauntless. There's no surprise there. Dauntless rarely has tributes. They probably are killed first.

There are a total of ten of us. We are the record breaking amount of Divergent in one Game.

"Every year we host the Divergent Games," my mother starts, "in remembrance of what threat Divergence poses in our society." She pauses for a moment. "We remember the countless sacrifices that were made to defeat the opposing outside the fence. Divergence ruined the peace. Divergence fought for the opposing outside the fence. To punish and demolish the Divergent population, we hold our annual Divergent Games. It is a reminder what type of threat Divergent pose."

I note that she doesn't mention that the Erudite test and research on Divergent while they are in training. They are hiding secrets, and until I was part of it, I hadn't realized it.

My mother stops again, and this time I see clearly that she is shaking. It's time for the personal reflection on the history. Something that impacted them. Surprisingly, each leader has something that has impacted them. My mother spoke of Divergence threatening my safety before, but now she can no longer say that. I wonder what she's going to say.

"I…" She takes a shaky breath. She looks like she's distraught, but only I know my mother. She never is distraught, or at least, doesn't show it in public. She is putting on a show right now. "I lost my husband in that war."

I feel like someone has shocked me. I sit up straight. I have never heard how my father died before. Now that I know it was in The War? Or better known as the Divergence War. It was when Divergent rebelled against the government for no apparent reason.

"He…" My mother moistens her lips as she looks up at the crowd. "If you remember, he was the one who helped remove those putting our faction system in danger. He led the group bravely to demolish those threatening us. Divergent were the reason he died."

I hear mumbles of pity from the factions. Even the Dauntless.

I glare at my mother. She catches my eye for a moment but she ignores me. She's using them to her advantage. I never realized I minded that. Now I wonder how many times she's used me to her advantage but I just wasn't smart enough to realize she was.

My mother plasters a fake smile on her face and says loud and clear:

"Let the Tribute Ceremony begin!"


	5. Chapter 4: The Tribute Ceremony

I shudder slightly as I hear the words "Tribute Ceremony" leave my mother's mouth. The procedure is to first ask for volunteers after introducing each faction. Then, the tributes are introduced to the audience. I'm pretty sure people place bets on the tribute they think will win. At least, I think the Dauntless do.

Connor steps up to the front. His voice is loud enough for everyone to hear.

"To your right, Abnegation!" announces Connor, pointing at the gray-clothed kids. The Dauntless whoop and cheer, but I'm guessing mainly for Connor. He smirks. What a show-off. He continues announcing each faction, but when he gets to Erudite, there is no applause. Not even from the Dauntless. Everyone is stunned that Erudite even has any tributes.

Unsure what to do, Connor awkwardly claps to get the rest of the factions to clap. Then he looks out at the factions and asks, like it's a joke, "Are there any volunteers that would like to replace to tributes?"

Right after he finishes speaking, he and the other Dauntless guarding us start laughing. I see my mother shake her head with disapproval. For a moment, there is no movement in the crowd. Just as Connor is about to speak, I see it. I see her hand pop up.

Leanna.

"Uh…yes, you, Stiff?" Connor says, smirking.

Leanna ignores him and stands. I see the Abnegation around her look uncertain, giving each other uncomfortable glances. Leanna looks nervous, but I can tell she's hiding it as well as she can. I can give her credit for being brave despite not being a Dauntless.

"I volunteer…" Leanna hesitates and she locks her eyes on me. "I volunteer to take the place of Emilia Wilson."

Immediately, there are gasps around the room. If they hadn't recognized me as the Erudite leader's daughter before, well now they do. Leanna looks embarrassed. Just as Connor is about to speak, my mother quickly interjects.

"No." She says.

Connor gives her a confused look.

My mother steps forward, giving me a look, "No. You must choose a member from your own faction."

"What?" Leanna says in disbelief. "That was _not_ in the rules!"

I know what my mother is pulling. She wanted to get rid of me already because I was Divergent and now that everyone knew I was her daughter…well, that just made her want to get rid of me even more. She probably just made up that rule on the spot or something. But no one will challenge her leadership.

"It's a new rule," My mother says, smiling innocently. "Choose a member from your faction Leanna, or no one."

Leanna takes a deep, shaky breath.

"Alright," She says. "I volunteer to take the place of Becca Thompson."

I see the Abnegation girl burst into tears. She's free; free from the death we will all face. As they change spots, I see Becca giving Leanna a hug, despite Abnegation's dislike for physical contact. Becca walks beside my mother. My mother has a very fake smile on her face.

"Well, Becca," She says. "What faction do you choose?"

She hands her the blood drawing knife as Becca closes her eyes. She walks toward the Abnegation bowl and cuts herself. I feel jealousy boiling inside me. She gets to live. I don't. I will die in a matter of days, and Becca will get to live her life because Leanna took her place.

Becca takes her place in Abnegation as Connor turns to introduce each tribute one by one. They each walk up and he holds their hand up and shouts their name. The Dauntless echo what he says, but the other factions only clap. It gets very annoying by the third faction.

When Connor arrives at us, he first does the boy.

"Robert Gray!" Connor says, holding Robert's hand up. He gives Robert a little push as I walk forward, shaking. I barely register my mother watching me closely. Even Connor looks uneasy as I reach him.

He holds up my hand and shouts, "Emilia Wilson!"

People are silent at my name. One Dauntless whoops but I can hear his friends telling him to be quiet. Connor gives me a small shrug before I walk back to Robert. My mother bids farewell to the factions before Connor can say anything and all the leaders walk off the platform. The Dauntless guards bring us after them.

I'm not sure where we are headed to.

The Dauntless guards direct us into a large Amity truck that fits all ten of us. Some of us, including myself, have to sit outside. The wind blows over my cheeks when I realize something. I don't recognize this truck. The Amity have similar ones to this, but it isn't the same. This one seems to be bigger in a way.

"Wow," says Jenny, looking around her. "I always imagined myself sitting in these, delivering products." She sighs. "I guess it's all a dream now." She gives me a small smile. "It's definitely not happening."

Leanna, Robert, Jenny, and I. The other six and inside the truck.

The truck jostles a bit as it starts up. Leanna doesn't look me in the eye. She keeps avoiding me. I just sit, legs crossed and trying to be as polite as ever. Two Erudite, one Amity and one Abnegation. I'm betting we have a silent group outside. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

Robert looks at me sideways, then glances at Leanna.

"You're Leanna right?" He asks Leanna.

Leanna nods, though I can see worry in her eyes. I have a feeling she knows what she pulled and she's not proud of it. All she does is look on the ground and not speak.

Robert taps his chin thoughtfully and says, "You tried to volunteer. Why?"

"What are we at, an interrogation?" Leanna answers curtly.

I'm taken aback by her tone. I knew the Games changed people, but I didn't know they changed them so fast. We all look surprised, especially Jenny. Jenny looks disgusted even. But she shrugs. I guess it's because she knows we're all going to change anyways. It's what everyone expects.

"I'm sorry," replies Robert, putting his hands up in surrender. "I was just asking."

Leanna just rolls her eyes and looks away. I'm not even sure that's Abnegation of her to do that. I'm pretty sure if any Abnegation were with us outside, then they would disapprove of what she said. They aren't here which is why she's pulling this. I don't even think I know her anymore. I never was super close with her, but now? Seeing her act like this makes me wonder how she actually was when she wasn't crying.

"So…your name's Robert?" Jenny asks, changing the subject. She's looking at Robert who nods stiffly. Smirking a bit, she jokes playfully, "It's nice to meet you, Rob. Can't wait to destroy you."

I shudder a bit, though I know it's a joke.

"You mean…" I cross my arms, steadying my ragged breathing pattern, "we all are going to go crazy? Kill each other like every single tribute has done in the arena?"

Jenny purses her lips. "All the generations before us did it," she says, shrugging.

"The Erudite don't even need to finish us." I say, suddenly realizing it. "We just kill off our own species because it's survival." I snort. "We disgust me."

Jenny doesn't speak. She actually looks like she's thinking about that too. So does Robert, and even though Leanna is hiding it, I can tell that's what she's thinking too. She locks her eyes with me.

"What happens now that I've volunteered?" She asks.

I look at Robert and Jenny. Is she finally talking to me?

"Yes, you, Erudite," Leanna says, pushing herself up so she's standing. The truck's jolting from side to side as she sits down again. She looks me in the eye. "I know you know everything that goes on behind the scenes. What's going to happen now? Someone's obviously going to get punished. That's really only what the Erudite know how to do. Research, punish and kill." She shakes her head sadly.

I don't feel like antagonizing my previous faction, but I don't feel like defending it either. All I do is shrug. However, Robert goes ahead and explains to Leanna everything he knows. He knows quite a lot, surprisingly. He knows that they track their family and research their family, that they punish the administrator of the aptitude test and then keep an eye on your family.

Leanna smiles a bit.

"Well, they can try that," she says, grinning from ear to ear. "My aptitude test administrator has long disappeared. I'm pretty sure she's dead. My family…my…" She laughs. "They've all perished. Most of them were in that war your mother described." She nods towards me. "I was just a little girl. But Abnegation took care of me."

I can't imagine Leanna as a little girl, crying over her family's remains. I can't even imagine my father. But then again, I've never seen him before. My mother keeps that secret hidden away. I have no idea what kind of person he was or how he looked because my mother refuses to speak about it and he's dead.

It's silent for a long time before Robert speaks up.

"I just can't believe we're letting them do this to us," Robert says, looking up. He looks nervous as he speaks. "I mean…we're still human aren't we? What's wrong if we're Divergent? There's nothing wrong with us Divergent."

I remember something my mother said to me before.

"We can't be controlled," I say, my voice low.

Everyone around me shoots me looks. Some, disbelief, and others, shock. Leanna looks especially shocked. Jenny even gasps. Why didn't they know? They should know, shouldn't they?

"Controlled?" whimpers Jenny. "What do you mean?"

I take a deep breath. I don't know whether or not I should reveal what's going on in Erudite. I know I shouldn't, but…they aren't my faction anymore. They've been hiding secrets everyone deserves to know.

Before I can say anything however, the truck stops at the gates of Dauntless. The gates open and the truck drives through the bumpy road. You can tell this area hasn't been developed. Buildings are broken; this place is trash. Leanna stands up, stunned. I see a building, and I can tell it's new because it's not damaged and plus it's made of glass.

I recognize this place.

"What's going on?" I ask quietly. "I thought the arena was either grassy or —"

"I don't think we're at the arena," says Leanna as she sits down. She glances around us nervously like she thinks someone is going to attack. Then she leans in and whispers, "I think we're outside the fence."

I stifle a gasp.

This is the place my father fought. This is the "monster" he saved us from. Robert squints. He looks around us cautiously before he looks us in the eye. Pursing his lips, he stays quiet for a few seconds.

"I don't see an arena anywhere near us," he mumbles. "The electric fence usually marks the border, remember?"

I do remember. The Erudite created an electric fence to prevent the tributes from escaping. The electric fence is usually surrounded by Dauntless guards in case somehow the tributes do manage to escape.

The truck comes to a complete stop before the tall building. It reminds me of the Erudite building. I hear the doors slam shut as Connor with the other tributes exit. We hop out of the back and look up at the building. It's tall, and I can't remember if I've ever seen a building like this before. It's got some kind of strangeness I can't seem to pull out, but at the same time I know it.

We enter the building as a group, following Connor. Connor goes to speak to the woman at the front desk. In the lobby, there are pictures of different people plastered on the walls. One has a woman with blond hair and gray eyes. She could be my mother, but my mother looks different, and I'm pretty sure. But something about her gives me the chills.

Beside her picture is a man. I recognize him as the Erudite leader previous to my mother. Then beside him is a picture of my mother. I'm so absorbed in the pictures that I don't notice Jenny poking my ribs until it starts hurting.

"Ouch!" I shout and cover my mouth, wheeling around and glaring at Jenny. "What?"

"Look," says Jenny, pointing at the blond lady I previously was looking at. She glances at me and tilts her head before looking back at the picture. "It's strange…she looks like you."

These must be Erudite leader photos. From the very beginning of time I presume. I just nod because I do not know who the lady was. Jenny squints at the plague underneath and is just about to read the name when Connor claps his hands. We quickly make our way back to him.

"This is where you will be staying prior to the Games," Connor says. "It's sweet luxury." He grins cruelly. "But you won't be living in luxury for long."

"Training will be with me," Connor continues, grinning wickedly. "Be prepared for some Dauntless action, tributes. I will be staying on the top floor which is the Dauntless' supposed floor." He smiles. "When you reach the elevator you'll see that instead of buttons with floor numbers, there are your faction names. Press the one that corresponds to your faction. I suppose you all know what your faction is, right?"

Connor starts to walk towards the elevators. He turns back for a slight second.

"Prepare yourselves tributes. The next few days will be the worst days of your life."


	6. Chapter 5: The Death Sentence

Robert and I are the last ones in the elevator. Erudite is the highest floor of all the factions, excluding Dauntless. The two floors under Dauntless need passwords to get in so I'm supposing those floors are where the Erudite and Dauntless work. Another floor is the training floor. It's in the basement but none of us are willing to press that button.

Robert is silent and so am I. We don't have anything to say.

The doors open and I step off first. There is a couch in front of us and on both sides of us there are halls. There are doors, many, many doors. I look at the card I got when we were in the elevator with Connor. I'm room 10. I quickly look for my room and slide the card through. The light turns green as I enter.

There are cameras in every corner of the room. I'm not sure if that should scare me or not. All I know is that I can't show fear. That's what the Erudite want to see — our reactions — and I'm not letting them get that sense of accomplishment. I was once one of them, and I know what they think.

There's really nothing to do, so I just sit on the bed, twiddling my thumbs and thinking of a game plan to survive. I don't know how I'll take training. I can't possibly be the worst, the Abnegation must be worse than me, but I would never know.

After a few minutes, I hear knocking on my door.

At first, I just want to ignore it. But it won't stop. So I rush to the door and peek through the hole. I see a familiar face before unlock the door and open it. I cross my arms and stare at Connor. I'm not sure what he wants, but I doubt it's a good thing. I'm cross with him for so many reasons.

"Hey, Emma, could you help me out?" He motions at boxes.

"Uh…sure." I say, willing to get out of my room. We aren't allowed to go anywhere, so why not take the chance?

I help him lift one of the boxes. It's not heavy, so I'm not sure why he needs my help. He holds the other box as we enter the elevator. Connor gives me a wary look and tries as best as he can to cover what he types in. We're going on one of the secret floors. I'm thrilled.

"What's with all the levels with passwords?" I ask.

Connor looks like he's not going to answer when he shrugs.

"Might as well. Us Erudite go crazy when we don't get answers." He smiles a bit. He still considers himself an Erudite? Turning towards me, he explains, "One level stores all the training equipment and another is where your mother will be researching. You can't possibly tell me you haven't been here before."

I gasp slightly. "I _have_!" I exclaim. "But I had woken up in that place."

"Because your mother couldn't have you knowing you went outside the fence," Connor replies, grinning. "Most people don't know that the Games take place outside the fence. Well now, congrats, you know!"

The doors slide open and I can't believe my eyes. Erudite are everywhere, talking and working. We're on the top floor. They have windows that can see the broken city real well and screens. I see my mother standing with other Erudite. When she sees Connor she hurries towards him.

"Oh great," She says. "Connor, you are late."

"Sorry Eliza," Connor says, "I just…lost track of time."

My mother gives Connor a hard look. I don't think she sees me.

"My name is Elizabeth," she says. "If you can't get that right, don't say it at all." Just as she's about to turn away, she sees me. She stops in her tracks. "Why did you bring her here?"

"To help me," Connor replies. "There was no rule against that."

My mother sighs exasperatedly. I'm guessing she's getting tired of Connor. I'm just surprised she hasn't screamed at me to get out yet. Handing the box to another Erudite, she turns to Connor.

"Get her out of here," She says. "If I as much as _see_ her again, she will be dead before the Games even start."

I doubt Connor cares but just to make her mad, he replies with, "You'll be seeing her in the screens."

My mother's face turns red. "Out!"

Connor quickly pushes me into the elevator and I see my mother calming down as the doors close. Connor raises an eyebrow at me, but the words my mother spoke really stung. It was better when she didn't notice me; it was a lot more peaceful. I take deep breaths.

"That didn't go as planned," Connor says as he presses the "Erudite" button.

I sigh, "She's going to rig this Game."

"Definitely," Connor agrees. "Did you see how mad she was?"

I roll my eyes. Sometimes I wonder how this boy was ever Erudite.

"Ha, ha, very funny," I say, my voice thick with sarcasm. "I mean _me_. She's going to rig the Games so I can't win. So that I'll be the first one she takes down. That means _I'm_ going to die first!"

I feel like shouting at him now. I never really truly realized when I said I didn't want to die, I meant it. Connor gives me a hard look. It doesn't help with my mixed feelings. I just sink the ground. Even when the doors open, I feel like my mind is too fuzzy to comprehend anything, so Connor drags me out and seats me on the couch.

"Calm down, Emma," Connor says. He eyes me. "You'll be able to evade her."

I see Robert peeking at us from behind Connor. Connor doesn't seem to notice. He mouths something like "I'll distract him!" but I just shake my head. He probably thinks I'm in trouble or something. It's nice of him to do that but it's not really what he thinks it is.

"She's the world's smartest woman," I say exasperatedly. "How am I supposed to evade that?"

For some reason, I feel like we're old friends again. Like I can spill all my secrets; tell him everything. But I know deep down, I can't. The past is the past, and whatever friendship we had only lingers. He barely knows me anymore. We grew up, we fell apart, just like the typical childhood friend in the factions. We would've been in different factions anyways.

"You're smart," Connor says, squeezing my hand. "You'll think of something."

He thinks for a moment before whispering, "You can tell me anything, you know? I'm still your friend." He gets up and presses the up button on the elevator before heading inside.

I see the doors close.

Something's up. I think my mother's behind this. He thinks I trust him with my secrets, but now things seem to be adding up. My mother is behind this so she can destroy me faster. He brought me up to her floor and she didn't "notice" until she handed the box away. She made a big deal over it, which she never does in reality, and made him make me leave. He argued which made it seem like he was on my side. I sink into the couch.

Robert makes his way slowly towards me, his eyes wide, filled with worry.

"You okay?" He whispers. "I saw…that."

I snort, "Yes, I'm fine Robert. Just my mother trying to kill me. Why wouldn't I be fine?"

I get up and walk away angrily. When I open the door, I slam it, making sure everyone hears the loud slam. I'm really angry with everyone and I don't even know why. It wasn't Robert's fault. I just wasn't in a good mood.

I sit on the bed and bury my head in my knees to give a good cry. Being focused on in the Games isn't a good thing. It's almost like you're guaranteed your death, sooner or later.

It's like a death sentence.


	7. Chapter 6: The Truth?

I hear a knock on my door and peer through the hole. It's Robert. So, slowly, I open the door because I feel like I still need to apologize to him from yesterday. I'm surprised to see him dressed so casually like he wasn't given a death sentence. Well again, technically, he could win the Games.

I haven't changed since last night. I passed out on the bed from crying I suppose. What other explanation would there be? But Robert looks fresh. He even looks more confident than I've ever seen him.

"You missed breakfast," Robert says. He holds out something in his hand. The smell of food hits me. "But I managed to sneak some away. Here, I brought you some juice and a croissant."

In his other hand is a can of juice that hasn't been opened. In his other hand it a large croissant wrapped in paper. I invite him in and silently eat as he looks around the room. I haven't really touched the wallpaper, though I've heard of some tributes decorating their rooms.

Robert touches the wall before turning back to me.

"No pictures?" He asks. "Nothing?"

We're allowed to put things on the wall; it's not against the rules but it just never occurred to me I wanted anything on the wall. I shrug as I finish the croissant. I don't know why he's being so nice to me after yesterday and I want to apologize, but nothing comes out of my mouth. The words are stuck in my throat.

Robert sighs, "Well, I suppose I should get going. Training starts in an hour."

I stop him. "Wait," I say. "I'm really sorry about yesterday. I guess…I just lost my temper."

"No kidding," Robert says, but I see his smile. "Hey, Emma. You can tell me anything okay? Especially if it's something that will hurt one of us. We're the only Erudite tributes. We have to have each other's back."

I nod.

"So what happened yesterday?" Robert says, sitting beside me on my bed. His voice drops lower. "I heard just a bit of your conversation. You said your mother was the smartest woman…like you have to outsmart her or something."

It's hard telling Robert things when I'm not sure who I trust. I want to trust him because he seems so genuine but just being near him makes me nervous. Sure, we're one faction, but in the end only one of us will win. I don't want to die and I'm sure he feels the same way.

But somehow, I find the voice to explain. I explain everything that happened, ever since my aptitude test. Robert nods along like he understands, and he probably does. I can't even imagine what or how his parents would have reacted when they found out he was Divergent. I can't imagine it being good. His parents may have even thrown something. I've heard rumors of one father who accidentally threw a desk out the window through his anger.

"Same here," Robert says after I finish. "I mean…my parents were shocked. We all expected me to get Erudite. My mother was so worried, she fainted." He stifles a small laugh. "It was funny for the moment. My father…" He trails off, looking around like he's looking for cameras. Bringing his voice lower he says, "My father wanted me to run."

Run? Running is the same as running to your death. The Dauntless would always find you and not one runaway had ever managed to escape. I remember the screams as one of the Abnegation Divergent was shot for trying to run away after the aptitude test.

"I didn't run," Robert finishes. "If I did, I knew they'd be tracking my parents next. There's really no point in these Games. Your mother and every single Erudite just want to research us. Then just research us in a lab!"

He seems to be ranting to me.

"Not just that," I add in, "we're the first Erudite Divergent since…well, forever."

Robert snorts as I give him a curious look.

"That's what _you_ think." He mumbles. Then he smiles a bit as I frown at him. "Emma, be honest. Divergence…I suppose it's just human nature. Some people have it and some people don't. So technically, anyone could have it. Erudite isn't immune to human nature. Erudite isn't immune to having Divergent. I mean…look at us. Our parents just weren't as quick reactors as the others."

I stare at him. "The others?" I repeat.

"Yeah," Robert says slowly, his eyes widening. "Others. You sound like you've never heard of them before. We Erudite…we're intelligent. We —"

"You still consider us Erudite?" I ask, snorting. "I'm sure they completely disowned us."

Robert rolls his eyes, "Yes, I do Emma. Now just listen. Erudite are intelligent. Which parent would throw their kid into the Games knowing that their chances of survival are…" — he frowns slightly — "less than ten percent?"

He shakes his head. "Never mind that. Let's just say our survival chances are low because we aren't taught to fight. We are only intelligent." Robert continues. "So what they do is they observe their children carefully. When they get their results, the first thing they do is check the system. If they're Divergent, they do some Erudite mumbo jumbo and then…boom! Makes it look like their result was Erudite."

"What?" I gasp. "But there's an Erudite looking over each aptitude test —"

"An Erudite watching over each aptitude test." Robert says, mimicking my voice. "Seriously? Think, Emma. Results are so simple to change before anyone makes sense of anything." He sighs. "My parents didn't know that. They aren't…the brightest of the Erudite. They're transfers. But you…I'm surprised your mother didn't change your results."

I don't speak. I don't think my mother expected me to be Divergent either. She didn't even put that much security. She just put a Dauntless there knowing there wasn't really a point on putting an Erudite with me. There would be no problem proving my results and no one would argue. But now I know we both were wrong. I'm Divergent. And I don't think even if she knew, she would save me. She would get rid of me; get rid of the shame.

"She wouldn't," I reply miserably. "She would be a hypocrite. If there's anything I know about her, she keeps her reputation no matter what."

Robert is silent before speaking, "It's surprising. No one is Divergent in your family."

I shrug. "I could be the unlucky one," I say, sighing deeply.

Robert checks the time before jumping up. His eyes are wide. He quickly starts for the door and shouts, "We're going to be late for training!" And then rushes away. I quickly close the door and change into the training clothes given to us. They're very nice for movement.

I enter the elevator and just as the doors are about to close, Robert puts a foot in and the doors open. He then presses the "TC" button. I suppose that stands for "training centre". He winces slightly as he locks eyes with me.

"Ready for training?" He asks.

I keep my eyes on the elevator doors as he reaches over and squeezes my hand.

"You bet."


	8. Chapter 7: A Tris Prior

When the elevator doors open, it's all I can do to not be amazed. We are the last people to arrive. When Connor sees us, I see a smirk grow across his face. He's going to embarrass us in some manner.

"Late on your first day?" He asks innocently. Then, in a voice that scares me, he says, "That's not a very good first impression, is it?"

He points up and through a glass window. I can see Erudite gathering around, watching and researching. I take a shaky breath. They're studying us. I know the Dauntless are supposed to give us scores, but I never thought that the Erudite studied during training too. But looks like they do.

Robert lets go of my hand quickly, embarrassed as we make our way to join the group. Connor stands on top of a box. It's not like he needs to. He's taller than the majority of us anyways. Connor surveys all of us tributes. Then he speaks loudly and clearly.

"This is how training will work," He says. "The next few days you will be trained and taught values of each faction. You will be ranked and given a score based on how well you do. The Erudite and Dauntless come together to form a score." He grins that grin that's so familiar now. That wickedness. "It's usual for tributes to be injured during training. Medication will be applied, however if it doesn't heal before the Games…" He shrugs. "Too bad."

He points at a lane of soil.

"Each of you will have to know how to plant in case there isn't any food around and you can only depend on planting." Connor says. "This is something Amity knows how to do. At the end of this week, we will check how well it has grown. If you can't do this, well…" He chuckles. "Good luck in the Games."

He's given us a hint about the arena. Robert and I lock eyes and nod. Jenny looks happy. She knows how to do this I guess. It is Amity stuff after all. She should be able to do this. But us? Probably not. If it's so essential to surviving, I will try my best to do it then.

Quickly, we scramble for supplies. I grab seeds I find in the pile.

One of the Abnegation boys comes up empty-handed.

Connor looks at him with disapproval, "Tut, tut. You've got to act fast. That will definitely reflect in your score." He smirks before hopping off the box and watching each of us plant.

An Amity man stands there, giving us pointers and tips from time to time. I try to plant but I'm not good at this. Jenny, when Connor isn't looking, helps me. I think she forgot about the Erudite. But when I look up, the Erudite's eyes are on the computer screen, unmoving.

Jenny is the first of us to finish planting and giving her plant the right amount of nutrients or something. My hands shake as I cover up the hole I dug. Jenny looks at Connor with disgust.

"He just disgusts me," Jenny says, whispering to me. "I hate every single part of him. Is there a time where he is nice and not…evil?"

"He's just being himself," I say.

"Not very nice," Jenny mutters. "I would even prefer it if he was pretending to be someone he isn't. Gosh, do the Erudite have to throw us in this mess? Excuse me for being a Candor, but they aren't very nice people are they?"

All I say is, "I think I'm slowly learning your factions."

Jenny flushes pink. "Just because I didn't get Amity doesn't mean I can't be one." She says, putting her hands up in surrender. Then she giggles as I stare at her in shock. She frowns slightly when she sees me staring at her. "What?"

"You only got two factions?" I ask, confused.

"Well, the last time I checked, that was the definition of being Divergent." Jenny says, busying herself with more seeds.

I quickly pretend to work as Connor walks over.

"Actually…two or more factions." Jenny corrects herself. "But no one has ever gotten more than two factions…except once. I hear those Candor rumors all the time about some woman who died before The War."

The Candor boy working across from us seems to have heard. He looks up.

"It's true!" He pipes, keeping his voice low.

"Lies." Jenny mutters. She gives the boy a look. "No one can possibly get three. I heard from Erudite it's technically impossible in the aptitude test."

"You hear a lot of things," I say.

The Candor boy looks distraught. "We even know her name!" He says. "It was something like…Tri…Prior or something…" He frowns. "Or Bea…"

"Candor!" snaps Connor, making us flinch. "You've got something to say?"

"N — no!" stutters the boy.

"Then keep your mouth shut!" Connor scowls.

Jenny and I exchange looks and get back to working on the garden.

Without speaking, the boy continues working on his mini-garden. By the time it's lunch, I have at least ten seeds planted. Majority were with Jenny's help, but the rest wasn't. I had finally gotten a hang of things. Quickly, we washed up and found a place to sit for lunch.

"Man," Jenny grumbles as she sits beside me. "That Connor is…he's a something alright."

In one corner of the room, all you can see is blue clothes. The Erudite sit there. I try not looking there. In another corner are the Dauntless leaders, laughing and joking around with each other. I watch the Candor boy slip beside Jenny, his eyes averted.

"You alright?" asks Jenny kindly. He looks up. "Connor hit you hard, didn't he?"

"Yes." The boy says. "He scares me. I think he's a jerk."

Robert snorts and mouths "Candor" to me.

Jenny gives Robert a look of disapproval before turning back to the Candor boy. "We'll help you out. We all will have each other's backs." Jenny replies, smiling widely. "Say, what's your name?"

"Jacob," says the boy as he takes a bite into his bread. He gives me a strange look. "Aren't you Elizabeth Wilson's daughter? Shouldn't you be…not here?"

I feel like someone just socked me in the stomach.

"What's your point?" I ask, my jaw clenched.

"I'm just saying…" shrugs Jacob, taking another bite out of his sandwich. "It's strange. The Erudite leader has a child who is competing in the Divergent Games. That's just strange. It's never happened."

I try not to pummel Jacob. He's speaking his mind, just like he's trained to, but it's hard. Robert reaches over and squeezes my hand to calm me down. I just viciously bite into my bread, not looking at Jacob. When Robert releases my hand, he looks at Jacob, frowning.

"There's always a first for everything," Robert says. "And technically…we don't even know if she is actually the first Erudite leader to have a child that's Divergent. Us Erudite have ways of escaping the doom of being Divergent."

"What?" gasps Jenny, now completely focused. "That's unfair."

Robert explains and as he does, my eyes land on the Abnegation side. Jacob's Candor friend joins us and so does Jenny's friend. But the Abnegation isolate themselves. The Abnegation are usually called the Career tributes because there are always so many of them. They usually team up in the Games.

"We'll outnumber them easily," Jacob says, when he sees where I'm looking. "This year, there's a record breaking low number of Divergent from Abnegation. If we all team up, we'll easily finish them off."

I snort. "So…survival is key, isn't it?" I ask. "Everyone's losing their minds."

Jacob gives me a look of disgust.

"I'm sorry, but I'd rather be alive than dead. Even if it means I have to have the title of a murderer." He shrugs nonchalantly. "These Games…I have a feeling they're going to be different."

Knowing that he's Candor, I know every word that just came out of his mouth is true. Even Jenny looks horrified at what he has said. I zone out of her scolding him to look over at the Abnegation. Just because they were born in Abnegation, doesn't mean they can be selfless. They are only sixteen. They could've transferred to another faction. But I know for sure Leanna is selfless. Yet when we arrived, she had an attitude change. I shudder.

She was a member of Abnegation. Yet she changed.

"Why are they doing this each year?" asks Jacob aloud. "I mean…they have Divergent each year. All the Divergent have the same amount of factions. So why keep testing us?"

"I think it's solely for their entertainment," says the other Candor boy.

"Yeah," says Robert, his voice thick with sarcasm, "because watching people get killed is obviously entertainment."

"Erudite are vicious killers," the other Candor boy argues.

I glance uneasily at the Erudite who are eating. Among them, I see my mother. They don't seem to hear a word we say. I turn back as Robert and the Candor boy argue over which faction is more vicious.

"Calm down!" says Jenny, cutting across their argument. "Don't you think they just want to see which Divergent has more than two factions?"

The two Candor exchange glances. Robert raises his eyebrow but I shake my head. He nods slowly. We seem to agree on one thing — it's definitely not because they want to find Divergent with more than two factions.

"The aptitude test would've shown that," I point out. "They don't need these Games."

Jenny shrugs. "Or they're just researching us," She says. She gives the Candor girl a look. "You know, research can always take forever. Each person is different after all."

"Or maybe they're just worried about rebellion," Jacob suggests. "The more factions, the stronger the Divergence. Like that girl! Luke, do you remember her name…?" He asks, turning towards the Candor beside him.

"Yeah," says Luke, glancing around nervously. "She hasn't got a good reputation among Candor. You should know her name. It's Tris Prior."

Jacob snorts, "Tris Prior. Honestly, Luke, you know that's a hard name to remember. I mean, what kind of name is Tris? Actually, is that even a name? Well, it's not a very normal one, is it?"

He talks so fast. None of us even get a chance to interrupt.

"It's a nickname, Jake." Luke mumbles. "Just…relax."

"Oh yes!" squeals the Amity girl. "Jen, remember Tris Prior? She's forbidden to be talked about!" She sighs. "It's like they don't even want to mention her name. I wonder why."

I frown. She's forbidden to name? What could she have done that made her forbidden to name? Robert and I lock eyes, exchanging messages. He doesn't really understand either. We both have the same questions.

I try concentrating as the Candor and Amity talk about the mysterious Tris Prior.

"I heard, she killed the Erudite leader," whispers Luke. I lean in. "You know, the one before the last one? It was a woman. Her picture's hanging down in the lobby."

"Ooh," gasps Jenny. She nods at me. "The one who resembles Emma."

Jacob purses his lips and looks at me, observing me. It makes me uneasy. When he finishes, he nods and says, "Same blond hair, similar gray eyes, but Emma's are a bit more sharper, like her mother's. And she has a tint of blue in them. Probably her father's eyes. And her eyes are rounder. Also, Emma has a spare upper lip."

"Excuse me?" I ask, baffled. It's strange when people can say so many things about you and you barely know them. It's even…creepy in a way. I shudder a bit before looking at Jacob in the eye.

Luke snorts with laughter. "Ignore him," he says. "Jake's a creepy stalker."

A laugh bubbles in my throat. It grows bigger until the whole group is laughing. The Abnegation look our way, confused. I even see the Erudite look our way. My mother stares for a moment, but quickly pretends she wasn't looking, and looks away instead.

From the corner of my eye, I see Connor walking over, his eyes gleaming. It can't be good. Connor doesn't smile for nothing. He smiles for a reason, and usually, it's not a good reason.

"Oh, you Candor crack me up." Connor says, smiling but speaking without emotion. He slams a fist on the table, making me jump. "Why don't you save your laughter for the Games? You'll definitely need it then."

By now, everyone is quieting down.

"That's right," Connor says, his voice dangerously sweet. "Not laughing now are we?"

I just really can't stand how Connor treats us, but what can I do? I can't help anyone. I'm not the Dauntless the test said I was, I'm not the Abnegation the test said I was and I'm definitely not the Erudite the test said I was. How am I even here? I'm not Divergent, can't they tell?

Connor smiles with a sly look in his eyes, "Five more minutes, tributes. Just five more minutes, and then we start training."

His eyes twinkle as he speaks.

"I hope you can carry heavy boxes. If you can't, your loss." He smirks. "Next up, Abnegation."


	9. Chapter 8: Standing Up

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, it means a lot! Just for those who don't know, I update every week.  
****~ Anna**

* * *

When we finish lunch, Connor brings us outside where we see the broken city. He holds a gun like it's nothing, even pushing us with the gun too. I see a truck with several boxes inside. I wince. They look heavier than the boxes Connor made me bring up.

"You will bring these to the floor labelled 'RL'. For now, the password has been disabled so anyone may go up." Connor explains as we near the truck. He makes a show of holding up his gun. "Don't think about running away, because it won't work. Any plan of escape won't work."

A smile grows across his face.

"Depending on the amount of boxes you have carried to the floor, will be part of your final score and ranking." Connor continues, his smile more like a smirk now. "If you can carry two boxes at once, be my guest. If you get hurt, it's not my problem."

He glances at his watch. "Any time, tributes, any time."

Before I realize it, people are rushing to the boxes. I quickly rush after them, the last one to reach the truck. I grunt as I heave a box down and run into the lobby. The box is heavy. I see the woman at the front desk give me a look of pity as I rush past her. I get to the elevator, but the door is already closing.

"Ah, Nose," I hear a familiar voice behind me. Connor. "Lost?"

"Go away, Connor," I grumble. "I'm not in the mood."

Connor pinches his lips into a line as he looks at another hallway. That hallway we tributes aren't allowed to use. Apparently, there's something there that's dangerous. I'm not willing to die just yet. I'll wait for the elevator even.

I'm just really angry at myself for losing this. There are two elevators, and I couldn't even catch one. I look backwards quickly and stare at the Erudite leader that we had been talking about at lunch. She does like creepily familiar, and I think I know why.

She looks like my mother.

Connor catches me looking and smiles a bit. A smile without any of his nastiness in it. I doubt I have ever seen a smile like that from Connor before. He never seems to actually fully smile.

"Recognize her?" He asks. "She was killed in the first Divergence War."

I take a shaky breath, "No."

"Pity," Connor replies, shrugging nonchalantly. "She was quite important in the war. That's why she was killed. The Divergent rebels knew exactly where to hit. They are really dangerous."

"You mean like Tris Prior?" I ask.

Immediately, I know I've said something wrong when Connor's eyes harden.

"Don't _ever_ say that name again, Emma." Connor replies, his voice harsh. "It's forbidden. But one Erudite to another, yes. In fact, she was the one who killed her. Tris Prior was a dangerous girl."

I look away before saying, "I heard she got a lot of factions in her test."

"It was thought to be impossible," answers Connor. "But she got three factions. Your mother says it's because of her stubbornness; her refusal to choose from the cheese and knife." He shrugs. "There could be many other reasons why."

Just like me.

I feel a knot in my stomach and I want to puke. I'm just like Tris Prior. We got the same amount of factions. She's dead, and I soon will be too. I'm pretty sure she didn't get the same factions as I did. Then we would actually have a problem.

"What faction was she from?" I ask slowly. "Tris, I mean."

Connor hesitates, and then replies, "Abnegation I think."

"Strange name," I comment.

"She chose Dauntless." Connor says, shrugging. "She's actually got a pretty good rep in our faction. Ranked first with a stunning amount of six fears or something. It's a pity she was Divergent. She would've done good in our faction."

That means Tris couldn't have gotten Erudite. I'm relieved. I keep my eyes on the elevator but it doesn't seem to be coming down. I try not to panic. Soon, I will be ranked last. That won't do any good for me. The tribute ranked first gets dropped into the arena first. Then slowly after, depending on the ranking, tributes are dropped in.

"What's going on?" I ask, panicking. "Is the elevator stuck? Are there stairs?"

Connor smirks, "The Dauntless must be making their lives hard. And yes, Emma, there are stairs. Obviously. But I think there's an easier way…"

Then he looks as if he's making a hard decision before saying, "Here. Follow me."

He beckons me to follow him as he walks down the forbidden hallway. I'm afraid this is a trap, but I will die anyways if I don't follow him. So I follow him quickly and quietly. The light turns on at the end of the hallway and then I see it — an elevator. I gasp slightly as Connor swipes his card. The door opens.

"When you get up to that floor, make sure you try to fit in with the crowd so it doesn't look like you've come up this way." Connor says, as he glances over at the woman at the counter.

She doesn't seem to be looking.

I quickly thank him and hurry into the elevator. I'm about to press "RL" which must stand for Research Lab or Reading Library when Connor reaches in and presses the button. Before I can say anything, the doors close and the elevator moves up. A few seconds later, the doors open and I quickly scurry out.

I see the other tributes being given a hard time as the Dauntless constantly trick them until an Erudite comes over. Robert is the first to go back down the elevator. Quickly, I rush up to the first Erudite I see.

"Here," I say breathlessly. "Where do I put this?"

When he turns, he just takes the box.

I see my mother standing on the other side, pointing at figures in the monitor. I see Connor, standing nonchalantly beside the elevator I just went up. I shudder as I quickly follow Leanna and Jenny into the elevator. When the doors close, I lean against the wall.

"Hey, Emma, where were you?" asks Jenny. She looks surprised.

I shrug, "You guys left me behind."

"Sorry," mumbles Jenny. "But this is survival, so we kind of have to —"

Leanna cuts across her words cleanly, "We'll help you next time."

I look at Leanna. She's still Abnegation, and even if she tries, that won't change. If I remember correctly, she has already taken the test determining that she's Divergent, so she must be. I still see the hardness in her eyes. It's something that probably won't change, and will stay there until her final breath. I can only guess, but I'm almost sure one of Leanna's factions is Dauntless.

"Nah, it's fine," I reply. I won't let them risk their lives — their chances of survival — for me. I have to earn it myself. "You just carry on. Jenny is right. It's survival. Only the best may survive."

Leanna gives me a sad look and Jenny just nods.

"I'm never wrong," Jenny replies. Then she giggles. "Well, just sometimes."

* * *

Just as we bring up our last batch of boxes, Robert currently leading in helping with the most. Jacob looks sick.

"My back is seriously going to break after this one," He mutters. "I…I wish I was stronger."

"You're strong, kid." Leanna says, encouraging him as we enter the elevator. "Keep going. Don't give up."

Just as the doors are about to close, I see someone stick their foot in so the doors open again. Connor joins us as he presses the close button. Immediately, we are all tense. Jenny looks at me nervously. Robert, pressed against the wall, swallows hard, looking like he's ready for anything.

Connor surveys us and his eyes land on Jacob.

"You look pathetic," He spits. "Can't even carry a box? What are you, a Stiff? Oh wait, Stiffs can actually _do_ things."

I watch as Jacob looks like he's going to burst into tears. Luke gives me a look. He looks scared, but probably scared for Jacob. I just don't know how people can be like that: put others in front of themselves.

"What?" Connor goes up in his face and says, "Going to cry? Maybe you should blame yourself. It's you who brought on this burden to yourself. Divergent." He spits out the last word as if it's poison.

That's what unleashes my anger.

"Stop it!" I scowl, pushing Connor into the doors. "You know what? You're bullying him, and last time I recall, that's not being a Dauntless."

The doors open, but I don't realize it. I'm on a roll.

"You know what you actually are?" I ask angrily. "A coward. That's what. Bullies are cowards, and that's what you are. A bully. You leave Jake alone. It's none of your business if he can't carry a box. You can't even be humane, so don't even start with him."

I look at him in the eye. "You're not brave. You're a little, cowardly, selfish jerk. Jake is ten times, even a thousand times better of a person you are! He might not be able to hold a box because you've forced thousands on him already. So what? He's brave, he's kind, he's smart and he's selfless. It's better than what you could ever be." I let the box in my hands drop.

I'm not even aware of the Erudite and my fellow tribute's silence.

I see the stairs — Connor was right, there were stairs.

Turning on my heels, I storm away angrily, slamming the door as I go.

I know for sure my score will drop by tons. The Erudite and Dauntless leaders will be talking about coming up with the scores, and they will remember this. But I don't care. No one messes with my friends, or anyone I know. Especially if they don't deserve it.

I smile a bit as I think about being Divergent. Maybe I am a rebel like Tris Prior. But I know it's for a good cause. It's to stop this world's madness and the ways they treat us Divergent.

I stood up for my friend; something I never thought I'd do, especially to a Dauntless holding a gun. Or to anyone really. But I did. I think about my test results: Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless.

Maybe they're finally starting to show.


	10. Chapter 9: I'm Awake

By nighttime, I'm exhausted and all the anger has drained away. I'm sitting in the corner at the back of the building. I'm not supposed to be there, but no one has arrested me yet, so I stay there. Plus I don't want to go back. I can't imagine what Connor will have in store for me.

"I _told_ you to keep her away!" snarls a voice. "If anything interests her, she will find out more about it. Goodness, Connor. Can't you do _anything_ useful? Don't forget why I allowed you to be appointed leader."

The voice is familiar but my clouded mind can't make the connection. I can tell it's a woman, and I know now that Connor is with her, or they're chatting on the phone, but based on the footsteps I can hear, I'm guessing that it's two people.

"She was curious!" Connor snaps. He must be mad. I've never heard him like this before. "Curiosity is something you Erudite accept! Out of everyone, you should be the one to understand I should have responded and why!"

Scowling, I hear the woman respond, "This is a different case. You know that."

"I'm sorry for trying to be a nice person," Connor replies, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Tris Prior is no different from anyone else, Elizabeth! You and the other Erudite always talk about her. It's about time some tributes got into Emma's mind with that name. She was going to learn it anyways. One way or another, she would."

Elizabeth. My mother.

I cover my mouth and quickly stand up. If I'm caught here, I'll be in humongous trouble. I don't care if Connor catches me by himself: that's different. But if my mother catches me? I know exactly what she's capable of being and I don't want to be here for it.

Still, they're talking about me and I want to know.

_One more minute_, I tell myself. _One more minute and then you run back._

"It affects Emilia differently," I hear my mother say, her voice sharp. "You know how it affects her, Connor. If she ever finds out the truth…" She takes a shaky breath. "She's going to be very surprised."

I hear them coming closer.

Connor stops in his tracks — at least I _think_ it's Connor — and says, "She's bound to find out one way or another. Don't you want her to know before she dies at least? At least know the truth?"

I can imagine my mother thinking over this one like a hard test question.

"Tomorrow," she says, "we will see what really is going on inside Emilia's head. Then we'll see whether or not we should tell her. Either way, Connor, I don't want to talk about the Games just yet."

I'm almost certain they are nearing me and so I dash away. I run inside and the woman at the front desk pays me no attention, maybe on purpose, as I go in the elevator. Smoothing down my shirt, I remove twigs as I press down the Erudite button. Tomorrow, they'll find out the truth. How?

I think about it. We've been through Amity and Abnegation. The factions left are Erudite, Dauntless and Candor. _Candor_. The doors open, but I'm frozen. They're going to use the truth serum. I know for a fact that the truth serum is something that Divergent seem to not be able to resist. If they find out what I'm thinking, they might have a possibly to gain control over me. Not just that, but the thoughts I'm thinking now… I just don't want anyone knowing. I want to cry, but the tears won't come out. So I just sit there, in the elevator, for what seems like forever

* * *

"Emma," says a voice.

I blink, as my eyes register the light. I see Robert's face come into focus, as I crawl backwards quickly, only to realize that I'm on a couch. Robert looks concerned. His eyebrows are scrunched up. It kind of makes him look like a little kid in a way; a cute chubby kid.

"You okay?" He asks. "You were sleeping in the elevator."

I automatically jump up, realizing I'm not in my room but Robert just pushes me back down. He frowns at me, looking at the time.

"We're going to be late." Robert says. "I just wanted to see if you were awake."

"Late?" I repeat. "For training?"

"Breakfast." He corrects me. "Here, how about this. If you need to rest up, I'll go grab something for you. If you don't, you can come with me. That way it won't make you look as bad as it would've if you walked in by yourself."

I don't want to miss out on breakfast again, so I say, "No, let's go."

We both enter the elevator. Robert presses the lobby button as we watch the floor levels go down. Even with the Abnegation included, Robert seems to be the nicest person. At least, to me.

"About yesterday…" I start.

"Don't." Robert shakes his head. "It was nice of you to stand up for Jacob. It doesn't matter what happens in there. Just know your friends will definitely stand up for you, okay?"

I hear my stomach growl as I nod.

Robert gives me a look. "Did you skip dinner too?" He asks. "I mean, I didn't see you, but I just thought…"

"Nah, its fine." I say, but I'm actually really hungry. I just don't want to cause more trouble for the group than I already have. So, without speaking, I just look away from Robert as the doors open.

We enter the cafeteria and I see Jenny with Jacob, Luke and Leanna. They all seem to be chatting. As I enter with Robert, all the initiates are quiet and soon it's so silent that you could hear a pin drop. My eyes travel to the Erudite table. All the blue-clothed are quiet. Not something you hear every day.

When I sit beside Jenny, Luke immediately says, "Thank you…for yesterday."

"You knocked some sense into that jerk," Jenny mutters, nodding in Connor's direction. "He still is a jerk though."

Luke shrugs, "At least he stopped bothering Jake."

"Correction: he's a pansycake," Leanna replies, smiling.

Our table bursts into laughter. Pansycake is a Dauntless insult, and although it's an insult, it sounds funny. I think that's what makes us laugh. I'm just glad I didn't make anyone's life worse. Quickly, I scarf down the food. We're late, but I finish right before training starts.

* * *

"Today, tributes, the truth serum will be inserted." Connor says. He isn't smirking or smiling. That's strange. "This is one serum that the Divergent have been known to have a problem resisting. You will be asked simple questions privately and the questions will only be recorded by the Erudite. No one else.

"As usual, we will be going in the reverse order of factions in charge." I see a small smirk forming, but when his eyes land on me, it disappears. "Get used to this order, tributes, because this is the order the private sessions will occur in. Ladies first, as per usual. Leanna Moore."

Leanna stands up. She looks pale. Maybe she's worried about the secrets she might reveal. As she walks in, I catch a glimpse of Erudite, making a circle. In the center sits my mother, holding a clipboard. I suppose it's full of questions.

As Connor closes the door behind him, I glance at the two Candor.

"I think we can resist this one," Robert says, nudging me. "I mean, c'mon, it's been done before!"

"No it hasn't." I reply, looking at the other tributes. "Right?"

"Tris Prior," says Jenny in a sing-song voice. "Man, I'm loving her more each second."

Luke glances at Jacob who's silent.

Then he nods. "Tris Prior," He says.

I notice something's off. Jacob, as a Candor and himself, is never quiet. There's something that Luke hasn't told me or has lied to me. I cough nervously, so all the attention is on me.

"Luke…what really happened after?" I ask.

Jenny gives me a hard look. "Emma, don't push it. Jacob's still upset." She says.

"No." I say, looking Luke in the eye. He avoids my attempt at eye contact. "There's something he's not telling me. Jenny, be honest, do you think a Candor could be quiet forever unless something is wrong?"

"Yes." Jenny replies. "He doesn't have to be Candor. I know I'm barely what I used to be."

"It's a habit." I argue, turning to her. "You can't break a habit easily. Especially if you're Candor. You learn to speak your mind."

"Emma, clam down —" Robert starts.

Jenny crosses her arms, "Habits _can_ be broken. Look at me! I'm not Amity, I told you. I've changed. And so has Leanna and —"

"But Candor's can't be changed as easily!" I say. I'm shouting now.

"Emma, please!" Robert says.

Jenny and I argue, our voices getting louder and louder until the door from the testing room finally opens. Connor, his face red, stomps out. He glares at each and every one of us. I notice when his eyes pass over Jacob, Jacob winces.

"Shut up." Connor says, his voice eerily calm. "Or soon you won't have a voice."

He slams the door just as I give Jenny a hard look.

"Just stop!" Jacob says, as Jenny starts to open her mouth. She closes it immediately. He buries his face in his arms. His voice comes out muffled as he says, "I didn't want you knowing what happened because…because it would just make everything worse for everyone. I know that you are going to fight if I told you."

Jenny's mouth drops open as she turns to me, "Oh my gosh, Emma, I didn't know. I'm really sorry we argued."

"It's fine," I say, waving her off. I feel the pride of being right, although I know it's wrong. I shouldn't feel pride for what I have just done. I turn to Luke, glaring at him. "Why don't you tell us? Jacob's already admitted to it."

Jacob gives him a sad look as he buries his face in his arms. I think I see tears.

"After what happened, Connor visited after dinner." Luke says. "He heard us talking about Tris Prior. He warned us to never talk about her again. That was fine, we knew that. But what came for Jacob was worse. Connor completely lashed out at him: his anger, everything. He told him that if he ever had to have a Nose stick up for him ever again, he soon…" He shudders. "He soon would be nothing but a dead tribute who jumped off and fell into the Chasm."

We are all silent. I see the Abnegation whisper frantically to each other.

"That…" I bite my lip from saying anything bad. "You know what? There's really no point on what they do to us. We can talk about Tris Prior as much as we want. They're already sending us to our death anyways. And Jake?"

Jacob looks up, surprised.

"If Connor ever bothers you, he'll have to get through _me_ first."

"And me," pipes Jenny.

"Me." Robert nods.

Luke snorts, "Hey, what am I? The class clown? Don't forget me!"

"Don't _ever_ lie to us again." I warn Luke. "Or Connor won't be the only body in the Chasm."

It takes a while to sink in that I'm only joking, and then everyone's laughing again. It's like at lunch, and at breakfast. We are still people and we can still laugh. It doesn't matter what people think we are. They think we aren't human, we'll show that we are. We're even more humane than some of them.

I barely realize that people are going in and out. It's only when Jenny returns did I realize that I was so caught up in talking with Robert. After Amity, it's Dauntless. Since there aren't any Dauntless, it's Erudite. And as usual, it's ladies first.

"Emilia Wilson," calls Connor.

Jenny wishes me good luck, saying she's sure I'll do just as terribly as her. I know she's still under the truth serum because of the way she's seems to be talking as if she's drunk, so I forgive her.

When I enter, I sit in the chair in front of my mother. Connor closes the door behind us. Before I even realize it, I feel a sharp pain in my neck and then, nothing. I suddenly realize: that was the truth serum, and I'm aware.

"These are just simple questions that we ask each tribute," My mother says. "All your answers stay in this room, unless of course, you decide to share it."

"First question," She starts, "what is your name?"

"Emma Wilson," I say automatically.

I'm aware, but it's just so easy to say the truth. I have to pace myself.

"Your _full_ name." My mother says impatiently.

I can't help myself and so I say, "Well technically, that's what everyone calls me because everyone knows Emilia is such a ridiculous name. Oh, and why are you asking me these silly questions? You know my name."

Then, I cover my mouth.

I see Connor in the corner trying not to laugh. Even some Erudite look like they are trying not to laugh. I smile at them, trying to pretend to be as drunk as I saw Jenny. The speaking was the truth serum; the smiling was all me. I, just to be annoying, wave to everyone, especially to my mother and in her face.

"Name," My mother repeats. "Now."

"Emilia Matthews," I say.

_Pace yourself_, I remind myself. _Don't speak before you think it through_.

But it's so hard. Honesty is so easy to be lost in.

My mother then asks me my faction of birth, age and some other questions that she should already know. I'm fine with those. I speed through them like they're nothing. I know I should pace myself but these questions really aren't personal. Then, she says something and it hits home.

"What are your…parents' name." Her voice trails off near the end.

"Elizabella Wilson," I say. I'm pacing myself, I know, but just to make fun of her, I say it wrong. It's not fair. She's torturing me because I'm Divergent. I'm still human. "And some other dude."

"Elizabeth," corrects an Erudite from the corner.

I see Connor narrowing his eyes at me as I avert his eyes. I don't want him to see that deep down, I am awake. My mother gets up and hands the clipboard to another Erudite.

"Pete, take over, I give up." I hear her say as she leaves the room. She sounds like she's about to break in my ears, but in other people's ears, people that don't know her as well as me, it just sounds like she's frustrated.

Pete continues asking me questions, and I answer them politely. I'm not about to make fun of someone I barely know. At least, not yet. If he turns out to be as much as a Nose as my mother is, then I might make fun of him. As of now, he seems nicer than any Erudite, other than Robert, that I've met.

After he's finished, I exit the room, ready to speak to Jenny. After Connor calls Robert, he suddenly drags me from the back and into the elevator. As he presses the lobby button he pushes me against the elevator wall. He looks me in the eye and says three words that make my blood run cold.

"You were awake."


	11. Chapter 10: Destruction to Society

I'm ready to lie, to pretend to be drunk. Anything but let Connor know the dark truth. As the elevator doors open, revealing the Erudite level, I stumble onto the couch, and pretend to start dozing off. It's not the best idea, but it's all I've got.

"Emma," Connor grabs my arm, jerking me up until my face is visible. Letting go of my arm he scowls, "Don't pretend to not understand anything I'm saying. I know you know you were awake. That attitude of yours better change if you don't want people finding out exactly how strong you are."

"Strong?" I repeat, bewildered. "I'm not strong Connor. If I was, do you think I would be here?"

Connor wrinkles his nose at me. "You have strong will, Emma. It takes strong will to manipulate serums and simulations." He says. "I'm even sure you are the strongest Divergent out of the group. No one knows that."

"Wait…what?" I say, uncomprehending. "How am I the strongest?"

"You have the most factions." Connor replies, smiling weakly. He joins me on the couch. "Everyone else only has two. I checked." I look at him, surprised. "And no one knows about your three factions except me and the Stiff."

"Leanna," I correct. Then, confused, I ask, "How? My results —"

Connor rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Your Stiff friend saved you from lots of trouble with the Erudite." He shrugs. "She must have forgotten about me standing there. The first thing she did when you got the result, when you were still in simulation, she deleted one of your results. In the system, it says you've only got Abnegation and Erudite."

No wonder my mother hates me so much and not just because I'm Divergent. I got two factions and the one of them is the faction she hates so much. I'm more surprised that Connor knew about Leanna removing my faction and didn't say anything.

"If you knew…why didn't you tell my mother?" I ask, stunned. "I mean…"

"You aren't a test subject," Connor says. "I'm not going to let them do that to you."

For a moment, I'm speechless. He _cares_? The same guy that turned me in cares about my wellbeing? That's the most surprising thing I have ever heard in my life. I don't even believe it.

"It's not up to you what happens to me," I mumble. "But it's nice knowing you care."

Connor turns red before regaining his "cool".

"Look, the Games are fun, okay? If they took out a tribute, that would suck. I just wanted to make sure you weren't taken out for something as silly and boring as an experiment." He says, trying to cover up what he has said before. But I will always remember.

"Sure," I say, smiling a bit. "You know what, Connor? I'm really starting to like you. You're cool."

Connor sends a smirk my way. "Of course I'm cool. I'm Dauntless."

"That's not what makes you cool," I reply, rolling my eyes. Once a Dauntless, always a Dauntless. He's so dumb in a way, it makes me almost want to laugh. I grin a bit at him before a sit up straight, a few thoughts in my mind. "After what you just did, don't you think people would have questions for me?"

"Not if they're all confused by their surroundings." He says, nudging me. "The only person who might have seen you get dragged away would be Robert, that is if he was looking at all."

I look at my hands, distracting myself from Connor. I want to open up to him, to ask him questions and tell him how I really feel. I'm beginning to trust him a little bit. After all, he saved me. He saved me from being a test subject, and even didn't rat out on Leanna. He's gaining my trust, and I'm sure he trusts me, but I don't trust him. It's just not right.

"Connor, I need to ask you something." I suddenly blurt, surprised by my own actions. Even he looks surprised before nodding. "It's about my mother." I clench my fist, hiding it inside my shirt. "I don't get it. Why does she hate me so much? I'm still a human, I'm still her daughter —"

I stop when I see Connor shaking his head.

"Yes, you are a _human_." Connor replies. "I think we all clearly see that. You're her daughter, true again but does she want you to still be known that way? Of course not. It'll ruin her reputation and her reputation as our leader." He shrugs. "She doesn't hate you Emma, I'm sure of that."

I try holding back my tears. Reputation before child. Faction before blood. That's how our society works, doesn't it? I never realized how truly messed up our society is until now. We don't even act humane, I realize. Killing other people of our kind just because they're different. Different. Unique. That should be good, shouldn't it be? But not here. Here, different is dangerous.

Different is a big thing. You have to try and fit in. No, I take that back. You _have_ to fit in. There is no other choice. I'm starting to realize that too: we never had a real choice. They were illusions. Sure, we got to choose our faction as long as you weren't Divergent but being Divergent wasn't _my_ choice. It wasn't a choice at all. No matter what faction you choose, you would either be loved or hated by your birth faction and no matter what, you would be watched. You would be forced behind the fence, forced to do things to keep you in line so you were the same as everyone else.

The uniqueness of a human being was taken away.

"Yeah," I mumble, choking back a sob. "She doesn't hate me. Just wants me dead, that's all."

Connor reaches his hand out for a moment before taking it back, looking at me uncertainly. I wish he had extended his help because I definitely needed it. I don't like looking weak, but sometimes I wish I could and just have someone there; holding me and telling me everything would be okay.

All Connor does is sit there uneasily, watching me hold back my tears. He looks uncertain about what he should do. Taking a shaky breath he says, "If you need any help, Emma, I'll be on the Dauntless floor. There's a password for unused floors, and it's usually the same for all unused floors."

He glances around uneasily and whispers, so I can barely hear, "The password is _Mark_." He stands up and walks towards the elevator. I watch as he presses the down button. Briefly, he looks back and says, "Don't try it on the other two floors. It won't work. They'll know you know, and know that you've tried."

Giving me a stiff nod, he steps into the elevator as the doors close behind him.

* * *

Minutes, even hours pass as I just sit there, staring at the elevator. My eyes are red from crying. In the end, I did have to just let everything out. I'm lying down on the couch, head tilted so I can see the elevator doors. No one has come up yet. My stomach is growling, so it must be dinner.

When the doors open, I expect Robert or Connor, so I jump up. I'm surprised to see a nervous Leanna stepping out of the elevator with something in her hands. She hands me some bread and I quickly nibble on it, realizing how famished I really am. Leanna sits beside me, watching as I finish the bread.

"Emma, can we talk?" She mumbles quietly.

I nod, hoping she can't see my red eyes. I don't want to show weakness, especially not in front of Leanna. I know how tough she can get — I've seen it before. I don't even know if I can trust her anymore, but still, this is the woman who protected me from my mother. From my faction.

"I'm sorry…sorry about the day we arrived." She says, biting her lower lip nervously. "I know I wasn't the nicest, and I apologize. I just…don't know what had gotten into me. I was really rude and that was uncalled for. I'm sorry. I hope you accept my apology, and if you don't…well I understand."

To me, Leanna is basically asking for forgiveness for something she didn't do. The Games change everyone; that I know. And maybe she was a bit rude, but she saved me, and the last thing she should be asking for is my forgiveness. Now that I know what she did, it makes me wonder if true Abnegation are like this. Selfless to the point that they no longer even protect themselves from harm.

"I should be asking you to forgive me," I say, not meeting her eyes. "I should have been more appreciative towards you for, you know, taking away one of my factions I received."

Leanna's eyes widen. "How did you know? Did your mother tell you?"

"No," I reply, looking up at her straight in the eyes. I want to show her that what I'm about to say is important. That it means a lot to me what she did. "Connor saw you. He didn't turn you in though…but either way, Leanna, I really, really appreciate what you did for me. It saved me from lots of experiments and tests they would have performed on me."

The Abnegation just shrugs and smiles. "I'm glad I could do something useful," She replies. "I was just really upset I couldn't take your place. I caused you the trouble and I just couldn't find a way to mend it."

I'm quiet for a moment before asking, "Leanna, do you know the name Tris Prior? Ring a bell?"

Leanna's face immediately goes slack before she looks around us anxiously before murmuring into my ear, "She was born into Abnegation." She then leans back, pretending to smooth down her shirt.

"She was one of the first in many years to transfer back then," Leanna says, continuing to speak in a low voice and barely moving her lips. She leans into the couch, sinking deeper. "Divergent of course, but strong. Three factions. I can't recall which three exactly, but I know she had three.

"We still talk about her in Abnegation," Leanna continues. "It's forbidden to speak about her anywhere, but we still do, selfishly. She was one of us and she's one of the heroes in our eyes. She saved most of our Abnegation members from death and from that blasted Erudite leader." She snorts slightly. "I know most of our Abnegation born members wouldn't be here if she hadn't saved us."

I frown slightly.

"Wait…what happened?" I ask, trying to keep my voice low and trying to not move my lips, but it's hard. "What does an Erudite leader have to do with anything at all?"

Leanna gives me a dry smile. "Before Erudite become the government of the factions, Abnegation had the government running smoothly. It's a common belief in Abnegation that Erudite wanted to overthrow the Abnegation government. Of course the Erudite still deny that today, but I'm pretty sure too that it was what they wanted to do. They haven't changed much." She rolls her eyes. "So of course, the most 'logical' thing was to attack Abnegation. Get rid of them and wipe them out."

I'm silent. I have nothing to say. That is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. Erudite can't have been that mean or selfish could they? They are the government now which means they must have done something good.

But then I remember it: Erudite will do anything, at any cost, to get their knowledge and do certain things. Like the Games for instance. Not everyone could have agreed. Aren't Amity the kind? The peaceful? They never would have allowed it. I doubt Candor would have allowed it either. The truth is what they put their faith in, and the truth about what makes someone Divergent, or just Divergent overall would be something they would like to hear. The truth of why the Erudite are really destroying and killing off Divergent. Dauntless can't have allowed it. Maybe the leaders would, but no one else. Bravery can't be killing. Abnegation never would have allowed it. They believe in acts of selflessness, and killing others is not selfless. It's selfish. The fight of survival.

Erudite must have forced the Games themselves after they took the government as their own. I know believing things from the point of view of another Abnegation is biased, but now looking at it myself, I almost believe it. I do. I'm even almost sure that whatever was outside the fence, whatever was where I am now, wasn't all that bad at all. The Erudite destroyed it because it was a "threat".

They say they are trying to keep up safe; keep us safe from the dangers that lurk in our society. The real danger isn't the society. The real danger is them. If they continue killing off our own kind — their own people — they soon will be putting their own society at risk. Then, it will be a fight of survival, and it won't be just for Divergent. It'll be for everyone.

Now I realize something else: the Erudite aren't as wise as they are supposed to be. If they were, they would stop the Games. If they wanted their society to be safe, they would stop the Games. But they won't because they know they are able to control their own people at any time needed and they can force things upon people without them rebelling. They can't resist simulations. We can. That's what makes us dangerous, and a threat to _them_. Not to our society.

"They're scared of us," I say slowly, looking Leanna in the eye. "We aren't a threat to society. We're a threat to them. They can't control us. The difference makes us dangerous."

Leanna gives me a strange look. "Different is dangerous," she repeats. "In Abnegation, we all have to be the same. Stiff and plain." She chuckles a bit. "Sometimes, people aren't lying when they call us 'Stiff'. We really are sometimes. I almost lost that self-preservation. Now given the ability to protect myself…it's really changed a lot."

Another thought dawns on me.

"Maybe that's it, then." I point out. "The _factions_ are the real threat to our society. They split us and then make us try and fit in. We lose certain virtues as we gain some. Like…"

I rack my brain for an answer. "The Erudite are intelligent, they really are. They aren't wise though. They are in vain too, as much as I hate to admit it. And like as you said, Abnegation are selfless but don't have that self-preservation."

While Leanna nods, I finally understand.

The factions will be the destruction to our society. Not Divergent.


	12. Chapter 11: The Records

The next half, and plus the next day will be full of Erudite training. We must choose a topic and then study as hard as we can before we are given a test. It's really silly because that will never help us in the Games, but then again, they just want to research us. Roberts pointed out to me that if someone studied the "art" of manipulation, they could do well in the Games too.

We are in the library that was in another room in the lobby. There are so many rooms in the building; it's so easy to get lost. Robert nudges me and points at a book. It reads "History of the Factions". We don't have this book in our normal library. I would know because ever since my father's death I have been looking for books that have to do with the history. I want to know what happened before.

There are two books on the shelf.

"What do you think?" Robert asks, grinning a bit. "We could be reading buddies."

I shrug. I need to read books like this anyways. "Yeah, sure." I say. "We might as well. We're the only two Erudite tributes here." I snatch the book from the bookshelf as Robert takes the other one.

"Hey, look at this!" Robert gasps, pointing at the date the book was published.

I look at the date. It's recent. Maybe a year back or two. That means it must cover some history parts that other books haven't covered. When we go up to Connor and my mother to tell them the subject we are doing our exam on, my mother immediately shakes her head the minute she sees us.

"Each tribute must study something different from one another," she says. "Only one of you may study the history of the factions." She looks like she's about to take my book when Robert hands her his book.

Giving me a quick glance he says, "I'll look for another book" before heading off. My mother looks angry and gives Connor an angry look before stuffing the other book into his hands. He, being himself, just looks proud. She stalks off, hurrying through scared-looking tributes.

"Man, she really doesn't like you studying the history, does she?" Robert says as I rejoin him looking for another book having do to with faction history. He glances back at Connor who just stands there, flipping through the book, whistling. "That Connor dude is kind of creepy."

I glance at Connor who seems to actually be reading the book. He loves reading, doesn't he? "Yeah," I mutter. "Well it's kind of him. Don't you feel a little more protected with a Dauntless watching over you?"

Robert gives me a look of alarm and I sneak a look over my shoulder, expecting Connor to be behind me but instead I still see him reading. I turn back to Robert who just shakes his head, "No. Of course not. I mean, sometimes, but definitely not _him_."

I sneak another look at Connor who catches my eye this time and winks back. I look back at Robert who seems stunned as he pulls a book out. He doesn't even say anything before showing me the cover.

"'Faction Leaders'," I read quietly. "That sounds…interesting."

"Your mother is in it." Robert points out, flipping through the pages and stopping at one. I catch a glimpse of a blond woman. "Wow…she looks different…like…"

"Older." I state, then I frown, looking closer. "Wow. It sure looks like her. But I don't think that's her."

Robert tilts his head. "Is this _you_ in…fifty years? Seems awful lot like it."

"No!" I snap. "Plus I'll be dead in fifty years."

He just shrugs before glancing back at the page. The name of the leader is boldly written on the page. I try pronouncing the name, mouthing it over and over. Robert looks like he's skimming through the reading. I try skim reading and am so drawn into the book that I don't notice Robert poking me.

"Emma!" He says in a hushed whisper. "You have to see this. Now."

I look over, scowling, annoyed, but when I see what he holds, I stop scowling. He's holding a note that seems handwritten. I recognize the handwriting. It's my mother's handwriting.

"Who is that?" I ask, pointing at the woman. "It's so hard pronouncing her name. Geez, who has such a hard name?"

Robert looks surprised. "It's actually quite easy," He says. "Jeanine Matthews. She was the Erudite leader murdered during the first Divergence War. Seriously though, her resemblance with your mother is creepy."

I look closer at her picture. She's the woman that hung with the Erudite leaders that most people said I resembled. I frown and as I'm about to say something, turning back to Robert, I see him crumpling something up. The note. I give him a strange look and he just shrugs before he makes his way to Connor.

I look over at a table of initiates bent over their books. I decide to choose a nice comfy spot near the window. It feels like it's been so long since I've opened a book. Taking a deep breath, I flip to the first page. It explains something called the "Purity War". That's a strange name.

I don't notice Robert sitting in front of me as he starts reading his book. Only when I see him reaching for a pencil in the pencil container, I look up. He mumbles to himself as he sticks a sticky onto the book, writing his own special note. I try peering over to see what he has written, but he flips to the next page.

I'm not sure who he's reading about because he just flipped the page, but reading upside down, I can make out that it's that leader: Jeanine Matthews. What's so interesting about her? She's not the first leader in the book, so why is Robert starting with her?

He doesn't notice me watching as he makes more and more notes. I watch him filling up the page with notes. When he catches me looking, I look back at my book, continuing reading about the Purity War, but it's no longer interesting. I keep sneaking glances at Robert, but now he's wary of me watching.

"What are you doing?" I finally ask. It's getting really annoying when every second all you hear is the scribbling sound of a pencil. "What's with all the sticky papers? Are you _trying _to vandalize the book?" As much as I like dislike the Games, books are something I love.

Robert shakes his head, "No, of course not! I would never do something as — never mind that. I'm just making small notes. This Tris Prior person is repetitively mentioned in this one biography…why is that? It's like she's mentioned even more than Jeanine herself."

He flips the book over so I can read it. Uncertainly, I read Robert's notes. His handwriting is super neat. Even my handwriting isn't that neat. The only person I can think of having neater handwriting than him is my mother, and her handwriting is really, really pretty.

"They're just summaries of the paragraphs," Robert explains, flushing pink. "So that's why they're under each paragraph."

I nod as I read one of the sticky notes. _Death serum failed to work properly on Tris Prior…switched…paralytic serum…_ This woman tried to kill this Tris person? My mouth falls open. I'm shocked. I never knew before the war, that there was conflict like this. There must have been. Why else would everything have ended up like this?

_Jeanine surprised by Tris' three factions, Dauntless, Erudite and Abnegation…one of the most powerful Divergent…able to resist truth serums… _For a moment, I'm just stunned. I can't even speak. She seems to be a copy of me. I have the exact same three factions, I may be the most powerful Divergent then, and _I_ am able to resist truth serums.

I need to find out more about her. Who is she really?

"Hey…Robert…" I say, my mouth dry. "Do you think we have records on every single person that ever existed?"

Robert purses his lips. "Yeah, I think so." He replies. "My mother used to file the records. We used to have a written book copy, but I think now we just store them in computers and back them up several times. Why?"

I don't answer him, and instead rush up to the librarian. He smiles at me.

"Do you have the official records of everyone living in the factions?" I ask breathlessly. If they have things here that normal libraries don't have, they must have the records too. "If so, could I please see it?"

"My apologies, but that is restricted from tributes." He says.

I see Connor watching me, so instead of threatening the man, I just walk back to Robert who seems mildly surprised. I frown, sitting back into the chair. Robert glances at Connor who seems to be watching us closely.

"Failed?" He asks.

We are so close now that he doesn't even have to ask what happened. He just simply knows. The training has brought us a lot closer. I nod, biting my lower lip, looking over at the librarian, giving him the evil eye. He looks away.

"I don't understand why _we_ can't research the records!" I scowl. "I mean, is it really that big of a deal?"

Robert nudges me. "Your mother didn't even want you researching the history. Think about it. Something in there must be a big deal, something that they want to keep hidden from us."

He continues flipping through the book. I catch a glimpse of my mother and Jeanine before he starts from the beginning. I clear my throat uncertainly. "Robert…is Jeanine a big deal or something? Why did you start with her?"

Robert flushes pink again and, his voice low, says, "This Tris Prior person really interests me. When they mentioned her, I remembered something. I asked my mother when I was younger about a Beatrice Prior once because of some Erudite rumours. My mother told me I could never again talk about her or I would be punished. Then I saw Jeanine Matthew's biography mentioned Tris…" He gives me a shy smile. "I kind of thought, why not?"

He points at the sticky notes, "Those are all summaries about the parts of Tris. She's mentioned a lot. Since she was a big thing in the war, she might be in your history book."

I look down at the history book. I'm only halfway through the Purity War and still no Tris Prior has been mentioned. "I suppose," I say slowly. "But she murdered an Erudite leader… Do I really want to read about her? Isn't Jeanine the leader she murdered? The one Luke mentioned?"

I see Robert flipping through pages as he shoves the book in my face, pointing at the last sticky. I back up a bit and squint, reading the tiny words that were squished in. _Tris Prior, witness, watched as Jeanine Matthews was murdered by Tori Wu (deceased)._

"The rumours are falsely accused," Robert snaps. "Tris Prior did _not_ kill that leader. That Tori person did. Either the rumours were started by those no-good, blabber mouth Candor or the Erudite."

I stare at him, uncomprehending. "Why would Erudite start falsely accused rumours?" I snap. "Who are you supporting here? The person who killed our leader?"

"I fully support Tris Prior. The Erudite leaders, every single one, are vicious." Robert replies, his voice cold. "They are sending _us_ to our death, Emma! Can't you think straight for a minute? Besides, the Erudite would falsely accuse someone so that they had a reason to take over the government. Or at least a war would rage, and they could take control. All it would make them seem would be that they were innocent targets and the heroes that brought the faction system back up."

I'm silent and Robert takes that moment to leave. He's furious, and I understand why. While part of me finds his argument is invalid, the other half understands. The Erudite are trying to kill us. After all, who knows what the Erudite were trying to do? People don't just go around killing each other. It's not natural.

All I try to do is read my book quietly. I have about a day to read and then exactly after noon, for five hours, I will be taking a test on what I have researched. It's a lot of work to do, but I was born Erudite. It's nothing to me, although it may be hard for some of the other factions.

I, like Robert, find some sticky notes and stick the parts where Tris is mentioned. I write tiny notes about what happens. She is important in this war. She was the reason the second war happened and the voice of the first war. The Divergence Wars were both fatal to the faction community. The first one resulted in the faction system perishing, and the second resulted in what we have now: the faction system with the Games. My mother is the second leader of Erudite since the War.

"Yo, Emma," I hear a voice whisper.

I turn to see Jenny clutching her book, looking around us nervously. She scoots in the empty seat in front of me and says, "You know how late it is? I think we're breaking the rules."

"We're still in the building," I say. "It's not against the rules."

Jenny shudders slightly before whispering back, "I'm going to go, Emma. You wanna come along with me? If I go, you'll be the last one left…and you know, I won't leave you behind this time." She smiles a bit.

I shake my head. This book is too interesting. Call me a bookworm, but I can't resist not knowing the ending. I only have a few more pages to go after all. It's not such a big deal. A few pages, and I'll be zipping out of the library like there's no tomorrow. A few more pages can't hurt, can it?

"Alright then." Jenny murmurs. "See you later, Emma."

Then before I even realize it, she's gone.

* * *

Minutes pass, and I only have two pages left before I finish the book. It's sometime early in the morning. I only realize it when I hear the door to the library creak open. Jumping up, I look around, my eyes wide.

When the figure approaches me, I'm not even surprised to see that it's Connor. We've been talking so often, it's no surprise. He throws a large book on the desk as I wince when it makes a loud sound at collision. I look at the cover and it reads "Official Records of Chicago".

"Chicago?" I repeat. "Like…where we live?" I read it in the book, but it's still hard to believe.

"You were asking that Nose," He points to where the librarian was. "Thought I might give you a hand. I have the ability to get this and you don't. You should be sleeping you know."

I smirk, "I'm not in trouble yet."

"The Erudite don't care how late you stay up researching." Connor replies, wrinkling his nose. "Think about it. They do it like every single day. If you do it, it actually earns you some points. I was on duty, checking which tributes were asleep. It's quite stupid actually. I like my sleep."

I try ignoring the last part as I look through the table of contents. Every single person that has ever existed is listed on the book. I look at Connor and mutter, "Thanks." I clear my throat and ask, "When do you need this back?"

"Keep it," Connor says. "Might as well. You'll end up dying in the Games, and then I'll get it back. How's that?"

I glare at him and he smiles back innocently. His eyes don't match the way he acts right now. In fact, I can't tell what his eyes are saying. I just mutter thanks again before finishing off "History of the Factions".

"I'll be up…in my room if you need any more help, Emma." He flashes another smirk before walking away.

My hands are shaking as I reach forward, flipping to the table of contents. Every single name — before the second Divergence War ended — is in here. There is so much information, that I can barely believe it. This was all hidden from me, but now I have it. In my hands.

Where should I start?

My eyes focus on one spot in the book.

Where else would I start?

From the very beginning of the first Divergence War.


	13. Chapter 12: The Examination

It takes me about an hour to skim through all the names before I realize: Tris Prior isn't in the name list. There are four other recent Priors though, but none of them are Tris. There is a Natalie, an Andrew, a Caleb and a Beatrice. Is Tris one of these? Or is she a made up name, based off one of these? I've read about Natalie and Andrew, as they are the oldest, and right now I have a suspicion that Natalie is Tris. She was born from outside the fence — here — so it could explain why she rebelled.

I don't know for sure though, and that may be a problem. I want to know everything. It is, after all, the only way I can figure out exactly what is going on and what has happened before. I know how we got here, but now it's time to know who was the one who got us here, who brought us to the misery we are at now.

Natalie Prior wasn't born in the factions. She came into the factions apparently. She was married to Andrew Prior, and then they had kids named Beatrice and Caleb. Caleb and Beatrice were like the rare people who ever transferred from Abnegation. I bite my lip. Transferring is rare here too, nowadays.

I probably will never find who Tris Prior is unless I ask someone. I would normally ask my mother, but at this point, I highly doubt she even wants to see me. I remember what Connor said to me. If I needed any help, I could go to him. I have the password. _Mark_. Scrambling up and grabbing both books, I hurry to the elevator and go inside, taking a shaky breath before pressing the "Dauntless" floor.

Almost immediately, a keyboard pops up, asking me to type in the password. Slowly, but steadily, I type in "Mark". The keyboard returns and I hear myself gasping as the elevator shoots up at surprising speeds. The Dauntless must love this. It takes less than a second before the doors open up, and I know I'm on the Dauntless floor. Everything is black — the colour of the Dauntless.

There is one door near the elevator with the name "Connor Jefferson" written on it. It's no doubt that's Connor's room. He'd love to be right beside the elevator. If there's any trouble in the elevator, he'd love to just jump right in. Sometimes, I wonder if the Dauntless are sane.

Quietly, I knock on the door three times, waiting patiently outside. My arm is getting tired having to hold two books — especially, since one is super heavy.

Just as I'm about to give up, the door opens, and I see Connor, looking just like he normally does except sleepier and angrier, at the door. "What do you want?" He snaps. "I'm trying to sleep here."

"I want to know about Tris Prior," I reply, trying not to react to his snappiness. I hold the book of records up. "She's not in the book."

He looks at the book before looking back up at me. "Of course she is," he mumbles drowsily. "Why wouldn't she? She's like…the biggest thing that's ever happened in history." He yawns. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"No," I snap back, closing the door behind me. I'm exhausted but I don't say so. "If she's in here, you find her yourself."

I throw the book onto his bed, and he just rubs his eyes. Then, he flips to the table of contents. I watch, a smirk plastered on my face. I'm awake enough to know that he won't find her and I'll be the one laughing over his failure. But at the same time, I need to know, so it would be a loss for both of us.

"Here ya go," Connor says, throwing me back the book. "Do I get a prize?"

I roll my eyes as I barely catch the heavy book. The page he's at reads "Beatrice Prior". For a moment, I'm stunned. Of course. How hadn't I realized it? Beatrice, the trice part sounds just like Tris. I want to slap myself for being so stupid, but I don't because Connor's in the room.

"Beatrice transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless, and then changed her name to Tris." Connor says in-between yawns. He collapses onto his bed. He seriously must be exhausted. "She's all under Beatrice. I seriously don't know how you stay up so late…I'm tired."

It's like when he mentions it, I start to realize how tired I am. My eyelids seem to get heavier but I try opening my eyes wider. Connor gives me a strange look as I take a sticky, my eyes still wide, and mark the Beatrice page. My eyes start watering, and that's when I shut them.

"It's like four in the morning," complains Connor. "Am I allowed to sleep? You know I barely had two hours because of your mother making me run duty —"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I mutter, trying to cover up my yawn. He's making me tired. It's like he radiates tiredness. "Go to sleep Connor. I can't believe even _I_ can stay up this long and you can't…"

Before I even finish my sentence however, fatigue passes over me and then, nothing.

* * *

Light shines into my eyes as I blink twice, then another three times before I recognize my surroundings. I see Connor beside me, either sleeping or he passed out. Looks more like he passed out while trying to make a cup of coffee because there's a paper cup beside him. I push off the covers, trying not to imagine how in the world I ended up sleeping in his bed. I do know though. I remember that fatigue passing over me. I was really, really tired. Maybe I shouldn't stay up so late. It's bad for health.

The curtains are open, and I can hear the normal morning silence that comes from outside the fence. I look at the time: 1:00pm. Gasping, I jump up. I'm late for the exam already. Trying not to hurt myself, I run to Connor's bathroom and try to get myself ready for the exam.

"Connor!" I hear the intercom buzz. My mother's voice. Obviously. "Where the _hell_ are you? That wretched daughter of mine is nowhere to be found! Aren't you supposed to be responsible for the tributes?"

I peer out of the door. Connor's still sleeping away.

Right after I'm finished getting ready, I see Connor standing at the door of the bathroom, giving me a cocky grin. I roll my eyes as I try to get past him, but he simply blocks the way each time.

"Connor Johnson!" I hear the intercom scream. "Get yourself over to the examination room, now!"

"Coming, Elizabeth!" Connor yells before popping his head back into the bathroom. "So Emma, how'd you sleep?"

"Don't even remind me." I groan, pushing my hand to my forehead. I have a headache from the nine hours that weren't slept well. I was restless the whole night. Why else would I be in such a bad mood?

"I have to go now, anyways." I say, quickly scooting past him. I eye the records uneasily. "The boo —"

"That's fine." Connor says, waving his hands. "Just leave it here. You can pick it up after. Look, just…if Elizabeth asks where you were, you were never here, okay?" He actually looks nervous.

I hesitate. "Okay."

"Go now, then." He says, shooing me. "Take that test and make mommy proud!"

"Shut up!" I scowl, but laugh at the same time.

Then without another word, I go down to the library and enter, ready to take my last examination of my life.

* * *

When I arrive at the library, everyone turns to look at me when the doors open. I hear my heart thumping when I see my mother, standing at the front, her eyes narrowed. Other Erudite are pacing around, watching each tribute. They've brought desks down, and each desk is separated from one another.

"You're late," my mother finally says after a few seconds. "Sit down."

I quickly find the only empty seat and look down at my paper, scribbling furiously. The test is supposedly hard, to me, it's simple. I'm finished way earlier than everyone else although I started later. I lock eyes with Robert. He must be finished too.

I double check all my answers. When there are only a few minutes left, I still hear people furiously scribbling. The difference between us Erudite and the others, is that we were born to study. Our test taking skills are fast because we have methods and strategies, and our memorization is off the charts.

"Time's up!" says my mother and the Erudite go around collecting the test papers.

It's dinner now, so I hurry to catch up with Jenny who looks like she was just run over by a car.

"That test was excruciatingly difficult," Jenny scowls. "How do they expect us to study and memorize all those tiny details? It's not like we had all night to study. We only had a few hours."

"Yeah," I say, without telling her the truth. She'll be furious if she finds out points were docked for going to sleep. "It was, wasn't it?"

"You finished early," She points out. "Where's the cheat sheet?"

"I didn't use a cheat sheet!" I say, putting my hands up.

Jenny glances over her shoulder at my mother before looking back at me, putting her hands in her pockets and nodding, "Right. Of course you didn't. I'm sorry." But I hear bitterness and jealousy.

"Nobody uses cheat sheets," Robert says, wedging between Jenny and I. I give him a grateful smile. "They couldn't get it past the Erudite. It's just Erudite training we get, like you get with the Amity awesomeness you have."

Jenny smiles weakly. "Yah, I guess the Amity 'awesomeness' it just what we learn." She giggles a bit before heading over to sit with Leanna. Robert stops me just before we enter the cafeteria.

His eyes search mine.

"Hey…you okay?" He asks, his eyes full of worry. "You were late today…really late."

"Yeah," I say, looking around as Jacob and Luke pass us. "I just got distracted…you know, that's all."

"The thing is…" Robert hesitates. "We've got to know these people. How are we supposed to just…kill them?"

I nervously look at the ground, and then shrug. "I don't know. Do you think that's the point of all this?" I lock eyes with him. "To make it harder for us to kill each other and to see how friendships develop?"

He gives me a strange look. I guess it makes no sense. But I don't know who I support. Sometimes, I feel like the Erudite are cruel, but other times, I feel like I understand what they're doing. I know I have to choose my side soon because it will affect what I do.

And the truth is, I don't actually know what is going on sometimes and what the Erudite want. If I did, I wouldn't be here guessing and hoping that every word I say is true.

Robert glances at me before hurrying in the cafeteria quite quickly.

"What —" Before I can finish, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Emma," Connor says. I turn to face him. His eyes are hard. "I'm sorry."

Then I feel a stab of pain in my neck.


	14. Chapter 13: Second Jumper

**A/N: I'm now trying to make the chapters longer yippee! Thanks for the reviews I've been currently getting! :) Keep reading &amp; reviewing!**

**~ Anna**

* * *

When I wake, I'm a train, the wind brushing against my cheeks. Connor is right beside me, and before I can scream at him, I see the other dazed initiates waking up. They blink multiple times before looking forward.

"I was just eating —" Jenny motions at the air in front of her. "What just happened?"

"Listen up pipsqueaks," Connor says, scowling. "As you know, after the Erudite initiation, comes the Dauntless. There are three stages to the Dauntless initiation, and it is one of the initiations that take the longest. The physical, emotional and mental stage. Got it?"

We all nod, looking around. Robert's in the other corner of the train, his eyes full of worry. Leanna is right beside me. What happened? How did we get here? Is this even allowed? Are we on the train that runs through the city?

"Oh man," Luke glances outside of the train. I want to warn him he might fall. "This is…scary."

We're whizzing past buildings fast enough. But something feels wrong here. I can't put my finger on it, and suddenly, I feel nauseous. Jacob glances nervously at Connor before hiding in the corner with Robert whose eyes are hard and ready. Leanna's fists are clenched, and only I see that. She's ready. We all are.

"When I say jump, you jump." Connor continues, smiling. "Got that?"

"_Jump_?" Jacob repeats, his voice shaking. "From _here_?"

"Yes." Connor speaks so easily like it's just walking. But it's not. It's more like a death trap: you will die. "You're jumping onto a building. It's not that big of a deal. That's the littlest thing you could ever do."

I frown a bit as we pass more buildings. They don't look exactly like the buildings we have. And in fact… When I squint at the buildings, they seem to morph. They aren't real. I gasp, stumbling back.

I get a few looks, but no one stares for long.

"This is not real." I whisper to myself.

But I can't be sure this is a simulation. I touch my finger to my neck. No needle injection. I try remembering what happened before I got here. Did I board a train? No I didn't. So they either put us to sleep and dragged us onto a train running through a fake background or put us in a simulation. It's an "a" or "b" multiple choice answer. "B" seems more logical.

I imagine the train slowing down. Although I got Dauntless, there's a chance I won't be able to jump off at this speed. So it must go at a slower pace, correct? I'm surprised when the train slows down by a lot. This must be a simulation. It could be a coincidence but I doubt it.

I know because I remember one year my mother trying to go through fear stations. One girl, I forget her name, seemed to bend everything to her will. Like _she_ was controlling her fear station more than the fears controlling her. It's possible to do that if you're awake and realize it's a simulation I suppose.

Everyone else looks pale.

"Leanna —" I nudge her as Connor peers outside. She glances at me. "This is a simulation."

Leanna smirks. "Yeah, I know."

My eyes fly open. "Then why —" I start.

"Not everyone will be able to awaken themselves, Emma." Leanna murmurs into my ear. "Not everyone's will is as strong as some…certain Divergent. Besides, remember, the Erudite study every simulation we are in. If they find out we are all awake in this one, don't you think they'll make it, or try to, make it harder for us the next time?"

I hesitate. "I guess."

"This simulation…they've actually gotten better." Leanna mumbles. "I went through a simulation, the same one you went through, for my choosing. I knew about Divergence, and…I should have concealed my Divergence better but I didn't. It was so obvious to me that I was awake through the simulation. My administrator though, Jasmine Wu…she helped me escape. She was a brilliant Erudite who changed my aptitude test results."

It's harder to wake now. But I can. Leanna can. What about the others? They all think it's real. Leanna has a point too. If my mother found out I was awake — Leanna was awake — they would try as hard as they could to patch up the next simulation. Then, we would all be all like mind-controlled, useless puppets.

"Get ready now," Connor warns.

The train slows down just a bit as we pass a rooftop. Although I know it's a simulation, it looks and feels so real. The panic inside of me is real. I see Jacob backing up as Connor eyes him. He's just about to point him out when I grab Jacob by the arm and smile.

"Together," I say. "Okay?"

"Okay." Jacob replies, his voice quivering.

"Jacob," I say, my eyes locking with his. "Pretend this isn't real."

"This isn't real." He mumbles, shutting his eyes.

"On three?" I ask, and Leanna appears beside me, nodding.

"One."

My knees are bent, ready to jump.

"Two."

Leanna holds on my hand and squeezes it.

"Three!"

We leap for the building and I know we'll make it. It's just how that is. We land on the roof. Both Leanna and Jacob are laughing, but Jacob's laughs are more like scared, nervous giggles.

"That wasn't so bad, was it, kid?" Leanna says, grinning at Jacob.

Jacob grins weakly back as the others land beside us. Jenny, then Robert, two Abnegation and then Connor. Where is Luke and the other Abnegation? Connor watches as the train whizzes away.

Connor smirks, "Looks like some people have already lost major points. They won't be participating in the initiation anymore. Don't have the guts to jump? You don't belong here."

Jacob shivers as he steps closer towards me.

"Now, as an initiate, you all have the privilege of jumping first." Connor steps away from the ledge and I see nothing but darkness. "It's your chance to earn some respect within us Dauntless." He snorts. "Unless you'd like to be a pansycake."

When no one speaks, he walks over to me. For a minute, I think he'll pick on me, but instead, he grabs Jacob who whimpers and limps to the ledge. When Connor lets go, he glances over at me. I want to tell him to grow up, but I can't find it in myself to say so. Instead, I feel bad for him, and guilty that I didn't do anything.

"Go!" Connor scowls.

Jacob sways on the edge. When he turns away, I'm almost positive I see tears threatening to pour out.

"I'll go!" I shout suddenly, surprising myself. I rush to the ledge.

Connor puts a hand out. His eyes are surprisingly hard. "I want to see the Candor go first." He looks over at Jacob and nodding. "Any time now, initiate."

Jacob whimpers again, his eyes wide and I see tears this time.

I know the wind will push Jacob over — it's getting stronger.

Just then, the wind is sharp, and in that moment, it knocks Jacob off the ledge. I hear Jenny scream but I know that Jacob is safely at the bottom of the net. Connor looks surprised. When I look over at Jenny, she's being restrained by Robert. Maybe she wanted to attack Connor or something.

Connor glances at me and then I jump. I fall, the wind howling around me. I feel excitement and adrenaline coursing through me. I laugh joyfully as I hit something. A net. I knew there was something here. Then a man pulls me off the net and helps me stand up straight.

"What's your name?" asks the man.

"What?" I ask, squinting. If this a simulation then…

"Your name," the man repeats. I look closer at him. His eyes are a dark blue colour.

"E — Emma." I manage. I see Jacob behind a woman.

"Four," says the woman. "I'll take it from here."

Four — is that even a proper name? — walks away and disappears into the darkness. The woman smiles at me. She's got piercings all over.

"My name is Lauren," she says. "Welcome to Dauntless."

I hear screams of joy and see members of Dauntless — or at least hear them —from behind Jacob. Jacob cracks a small smile as I hear Jenny's whoop as she hits the net. Lauren helps her out.

"That's strange," Jacob says, peering into the darkness before shaking his head and looking back. "Whenever I look at them, my head hurts. Wow, Dauntless is a strange place."

"Yeah." I say.

After Jenny, comes Leanna who walks to my side. Her eyes survey the surroundings. She frowns a bit when she looks into the darkness and then she looks at me. I can't tell what her eyes are trying to tell me. She looks alarmed and at the same time, shocked.

"It's a tactic." Leanna murmurs into my ear. "When you try looking over there, you feel nauseous. It's so you can't see what's after. My guess is that this is as long as the simulation goes."

"Simulations have a length?" I ask.

Leanna glances as the first Abnegation boy drops and then whispers into my ear, "I mean, after this, if they haven't programmed it yet, I'm betting it's a white environment. Nothing there, just plain white."

I peer over my shoulder. I feel so nauseous I could puke.

Turning back I say, "You think we should check it out?"

"You." Leanna says, poking me. "Mainly because I can't hold out that long. My bet is that you can. Remember, your Divergence is pretty strong. You can't be controlled. Fight the nausea they produce."

I take a deep breath as Connor explains tomorrow what we'll start doing. I glance at Leanna whose brown eyes are set on Connor. We are shooting with guns tomorrow. Dauntless will prepare us for the Games. But at the same time, I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about what Leanna said.

I turn to the darkness and shut my eyes, ignoring the nausea. It's just a simulation. It's all fake. The feeling starts leaving me as I rush into the darkness, my eyes wide open.

Suddenly I'm on the cold floor, my eyes wide open, gasping.

I quickly scramble up, my eyes roving around. I'm in front of the cafeteria again. I peer inside of the cafeteria and I see that Jenny has her face on the table along with the others. Leanna's head suddenly pops up as Jenny and Robert follow. They must have been instructed to all run to where I went. It ends the simulation on their end.

I quickly rush into the elevator, ignoring my growling stomach. Something about that person, Four, reminded me about the records. Something about him makes me uneasy.

I rush up to Connor's room, ready to grab the book when something stops me in my tracks.

My mother is throwing a vase at a portrait, her eyes full of anger.

She's never like this.

What happened?


	15. Chapter 14: Him

I gasp as I watch my mother pick up the nearest glass table and throw it at the portrait. I can't see who it is from my angle, but it must be someone she hates. Even worse perhaps. I've never, ever seen her this angry before, and it scares me.

"Your _stupid_ blasted son!" She scowls, grabbing a nearby chair and throwing it against the portrait. It's ripping now. I see parts of it fall off and land onto the ground. "He ruined her. _They_ ruined her. You're killing my family!"

I watch in awe as she takes other items and throws them against the portrait. I feel a hand on my shoulder as I turn. Just as I'm about to scream, the hand covers my mouth. My eyes widen as Connor puts a finger to his lips and motions for me to hide on behind the couch.

Quickly, I wedge myself in between the couch and the wall, squished. I don't question Connor's motives anymore. I trust him. It might be dangerous, or even a risk I'm taking to trust him, but I think he's not going to report anything to my mother. My mother doesn't know half the things he knows. Not just that, but he's done so much for me. In return, I have to give him my full trust.

"Elizabeth!" Connor shouts as the crashing becomes louder. "Elizabeth Wilson! Get a hold of yourself!"

I've never heard him so strict.

"Now take a deep breath, that's right." He says, now in a quieter, controlled voice.

I peer over and watch as my mother takes deep breaths, calming herself. That was always the way she calmed herself. It's the same way I use. But we only need to use it in horrible times. How bad could this person be in her eyes?

"Let's go and get you back to the Erudite floor." I hear Connor say, as they pass me and into the elevator. My mother looks like she's slowly recovering and turning back into her normal self. "Would you like a coffee, Eliza?"

"Very funny," grumbles my mother.

Connor frowns at her and then says, "What's the password, Madam Wilson?"

"I hate him." My mother scowls as I peer over the couch. "Don't _ever_ call me that again." Then she takes another deep breath. "The password is the same as every unused floor, Connor."

Connor laughs, "You need more security than _that_ Liza.

As the elevator doors close, I hear my mother snap, "My _name_ is Elizabeth!"

I crawl out of my hiding spot. Before, I wanted to go get the book of records, but now? All I want to do is see what portrait she destroyed. As I get up, I realize the destruction to the portrait was way worse than I imagined.

Pieces of the portrait are littered all over the floor, and some pieces are still falling. Half of the frame has fallen off and the broken chair, table and vase mixed with other items are all over the floor. I walk over the glass carefully as I observe the portrait that now barely hangs onto the wall. Carefully, I reach for the painting, unhooking it and then placing it on the ground.

I don't recognize the figure. In fact, most of the person's face has been ripped off by my mother. All I can tell is that it is a man. I back up carefully, making sure I don't accidentally injure myself with the glass and wood, before taking the pieces and trying to place them back together. It's easy because it's just like a puzzle. Within a few minutes, I've fixed the portrait to the best of my ability.

For a moment, I feel like I know the person in the portrait. His eyes especially. Where have I seen them before? I try remembering. I saw them someplace, although it seems like a dream.

Then it hits me.

The Dauntless jumping. The simulation. The man who helped me off.

_Four_.

He is an actual person and not just a simulation being the Erudite created. Under his name has a tiny biography on him. Apparently, he trained initiates but he ranked first. That means he should have gotten a government job, but either he couldn't or he turned it down. I think he couldn't. Who would turn down a job?

I keep reading.

His father, Marcus Eaton — Abnegation obviously — apparently wasn't the nicest to him. That's the rumour based on why he left and why he didn't choose a government job. That makes sense. After all, I learned in Erudite that the Abnegation may be selfless but they are no-good, abusive people. Some are exceptions, like Leanna maybe, but that's all.

Marcus Eaton.

I have to find out more about the Four. I know for a fact that it wasn't planned for him to leave the simulation. I'm almost sure because now that I think of it, they reuse the same simulation each year. Each year, Four's in it. I've seen the recordings before, but it just never occurred to me.

I turn the doorknob to Connor's room, surprised that it's unlocked. Then again, it makes sense. Connor doesn't care if people barge into his room. It gives him an excuse to fight. I sigh, delighted for once with the fact at Connor's craziness.

I grab the book from his shelf as I sit on his bed. He hasn't made his bed yet. I doubt he ever makes his bed. Quickly, I scan the book for Marcus Eaton. I find him under the "E" section. Tracing his name to the page, I'm surprised he's under the Faction Officials category. He was an official? Someone like _him_ was an official.

I flip to the page, and quickly skim his biography. Apparently he wasn't just cruel to his son, but his wife. Evelyn Johnson. His son's name is Tobias Johnson, who used to be known as Tobias Eaton. His son's name isn't Four. Maybe, like Beatrice, Four is a nickname. It's strange though because Tobias is not even close to Four.

Not wanting to make the same mistake with Beatrice, I go back to the table of contents and scan for "Tobias Johnson" and find him. I flip to his page, delighted to find a picture of the portrait that was just destroyed as the picture of Tobias. I read through his biography. He died in the second Divergent War and his girlfriend, Beatrice Prior, died in the first. _Tris_.

No wonder. They both seem to be the major influence on the wars. I keep reading on. I'm surprised to see that Tobias has a son. If Beatrice died at the age she was…then how could Tobias have a son? Either way, his son's name is Marcus Prior Johnson.

It's strange though. Marcus is the name of his father who treated him horribly. Why would he name his child that? Maybe Marcus reminded him of the goodness in his father? Whatever the reason, I just can't believe Tobias would've named his son after his father. His father who was so cruel towards him.

It doesn't matter anyways though. I just want to find out more about this Marcus Johnson.

I quickly flip to Beatrice Prior's page to see if Marcus is listed as her child. He is.

For a moment, I stare at Beatrice's photograph. She has a narrow face, round eyes, and a long thin nose. She isn't what I would call the most attractive, but something about her makes me feel like she's still beautiful.

When I read Beatrice's biography for any mention of how or when Marcus was born, I'm surprised by my luck of actually finding a paragraph on Marcus. Apparently, after she was shot by someone named David, she was in critical condition and her death was faked. Anything could have ended her life, but she stayed strong and held on.

So basically Tris' life could've ended any moment. I actually am starting to look up to Tris. At first, I thought she was some kind of rebel that recklessly threw the world into war. But now I see that she was simply a sixteen year old transfer who just wanted to live the Dauntless life that she never got.

Beatrice was released a few months after her twentyieth birthday as per her birthday request. She was also stable enough to be allowed to roam the city.

I skim through the rest of the paragraph and catch on when it mentions a few days later she was wheeled to the emergency room, once again in a pretty bad condition. Months later, Marcus was born, and a day after, Tris died. She held out as long as she could, and in the end, her wounds that never managed to heal correctly, won.

There is nothing else about Marcus in Beatrice's biography, so sighing, I flip back to the table of contents and search for "Marcus Johnson". He's not anyone important, so he's under normal citizens. There is one yellow sticky note at the bottom of his biography with my mother's handwriting, and the picture of Marcus is taped onto the book. The picture is of a grown man.

A red stamp draws my attention.

The stamp prints "unknown".

What does unknown mean? Does it mean if it's unknown where he is, if he's alive or that his whole biography is just a series of predictions?

Ignoring the stamp, I frown slightly, studying the taped picture. He looks a lot like the picture of Four — of Tobias. He has his father's dark blue eyes, his mother's round eyes, his father's brown hair, a long, hooked nose; and a narrow face. It's slightly creepy studying someone I barely know, but I feel like I know everything about him at the same time.

Taking two fingers, I pinch the top photograph and pull it off slowly so it doesn't damage the page. I put it aside on the bed as I stare at the baby photograph underneath it. This means that the book of records hasn't been updated since Marcus was a baby. It takes a moment for it to sink in for me.

Then where did the adult version of him come from?

I stare at the adult version of "Marcus" and stare at his official baby photograph. The same face and smile. Even as a baby, he looked just like he does when he's older. Unless the older photo is a photo of him is just another predication. It can't be though. If Erudite have access to the records, which I'm sure they do, they only put in facts. Especially if it's a book of facts.

There isn't much about Marcus in the records. It just mentions his birth date, his parents and has a small diagram of his family tree. Then I notice something: the last line beside the yellow sticky is handwritten. Not my mother's handwriting though. It's just as neat as hers but a little thicker.

"Location unknown" is what the handwritten words say. Marcus could be alive or dead. Probably alive if they have an adult picture of him. I'm starting to wonder how old this information is and if I should really be trusting it.

Either way, I take off the sticky that my mother has written on. Another thing about my mother: she doesn't write on books because she feels like it's vandalizing the book and instead uses sticky notes or papers. Anything but writing on the original book.

I squint, trying to read my mother's tiny writing. She's written a whole few paragraphs on a tiny sticky note. Sometimes, I really wish she would either break the habit of writing things on sticky notes or finding a bigger sticky note to write on. Her writing can get _very_ small sometimes.

_Confirmed: Marcus Johnson is alive._

_ When the war between the ex-Erudite and other members of society began, Tobias Johnson made sure his son was safe by sending him to live with his mother, Evelyn Johnson. After Tobias was killed, Evelyn sent Marcus away under a new name and family._

_ The Wilson family, where Marcus had been put, was shortly killed after Evelyn Johnson's death. Soon, Marcus under a new name joined the factions when they were started up once again and began in Abnegation. At the age of sixteen, he went to the Choosing Ceremony and chose to stay. He became one of the officials of Abnegation, like his grandfather Marcus Eaton who ended up becoming another one of the Abnegation officials._

_ However, Marcus was under a false identity and family. He married Erudite leader Elizabeth Matthews and had a wonderful child named Emilia Wilson. Soon Marcus tried starting another Divergence War after it was discovered he was Divergent and had to participate in the Divergent Games._

_ His whereabouts currently are unknown but it is suspected within the city._

_ He is currently known as —_

When I read the last few words, the note slips through my fingers as I sit on the edge of Connor's bed, taking deep, fast breaths. I feel beads of sweat gathering on my forehead as I try to stay conscious. Why didn't I know? Why didn't she _tell_ me? But it makes sense. The password on each unused floor — my mother makes those passwords. It should have been obvious, right? I take a shaky breath as I pick up the note, and mouth the last few words.

_ Mark Wilson._


	16. Chapter 15: Dauntless Initiation

Mark Wilson was my father. He's dead now, and then I realize something else: I'm related to Tris Prior, the girl who started the first Divergence War. The girl who received three factions on her aptitude test. She's my grandmother.

I take strangled breaths. If anyone found out that I was related to her, they would freak. The rebellion started with her, and ended with her. The second started with the Erudite. If this is the pattern, does that mean the next rebellion must be me?

I pinch myself. I must be dreaming. I must be. This isn't real.

But it is, and I have to embrace that.

"Emma?" Connor peers into his room as he sits beside me. I'm still in shock, staring at the page, my mouth wide open. Connor's eyes follow mine to the page I'm looking at, as he bites his lower lip. "You…found out, didn't you?"

"Oh. My. God." I whisper, clutching the book, my fingers turning red. "I'm related to Tris Prior."

Connor removes the book from my hands, and says, "Emma calm down. I don't want your mother on my back." He stares at the page before looking back up. "I'm surprised you could even read that writing."

"Oh, please, Connor." I say, but my sarcasm is barely noticeable. "I grew up with her. But…" My finger brushes over her words as I take the book back. Elizabeth _Matthews_. Marcus _Johnson_.

"Jeanine Matthews," I murmur, my fingers brushing over my mother's name. "Tobias Johnson." My fingers brush over my father's name. These two families came together, and originally they fought against each other. I try not to laugh, it just seems so…strange.

"No wonder I look like _her_," I say, looking up at Connor whose eyes are knit together in worry. "She's my _grandmother_. The Erudite leadership runs in our family, doesn't it?" I'm starting to laugh like an insane maniac. "Oh, but I'm not a leader. In fact, I'm Divergent! If she were alive she would try and _kill_ me for who I am!" My laughing grows louder. "She tried killing Tris Prior, didn't she? And now her daughter marries Tris Prior's child! Oh, wow, huh? Connor, don't you find that a bit funny?"

Connor looks horrified as he asks, "Are you okay, Emma?"

"Okay? Of course I'm okay, Connor!" I'm basically shouting now.

"Emma, keep quiet!" Connor says, his voice turning harsh. "The Erudite live on this floor!"

I try stifling my maniacal laughter before taking slow, calming, deep breaths before lying flat on his bed, my eyes tearing up. From excitement, anger, or just pure sadness, I don't know.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I demand, my eyes tearing up even more. I point at the book, my hands shaking. "If you _knew_ about this, you would've told me! If you were my _friend_, Connor, you would've told me." I try steadying my voice. "You said you were my friend, Connor. You lied."

I sniffle a bit before closing the book and throwing it at Connor. His eyes are wide, full of concern, as he puts the book to the side. Taking one arm, he puts it around me — a comforting gesture. I want to push him away, but I don't find the energy or the will to push it away. I just lean against him, tears continuing to stream down my cheeks.

"You should've told me." I murmur. "You should've told me, Connor."

"She wouldn't let me. Your mother." Connor says, his voice muffled.

I look up at him, my gray eyes staring into his brown ones. "Is training going to be hard, Connor?" I ask, my voice soft and quiet. Everything seems to have calmed down now. I still have a horrible heart-wrenching feeling, but that's all. My tears have stopped trailing down my cheeks as I wipe them with the back of my hand.

Connor doesn't hesitate. "Not for you. You'll do fine. Just rest up. Go to sleep."

I close my eyes as I stay still. I can hear his heart pounding, just like the Dauntless when they walk together. Big and loud, footsteps. I smile to myself. They're strange people, but they definitely are something.

* * *

It's very early in the morning, and I'm holding a heavy, metal gun. As Connor talks, I'm barely listening. Sometimes I lean too far to one side and almost fall. Thank goodness, Jenny seems to be pushing me back upright. Without her, I probably would've been on the ground by now. We're in the training centre. Our plants are off to the side, and we practice on the other side of the room. I never realized how big this place was until now.

I look at my plants. They're probably dead by now. I forgot about watering them every single day. I can't tell from here exactly which plants are dead, but I see a few, and I bet those are mine. Shaking out of those thoughts, I try holding the gun as I turn back to Connor he faces one of the targets that are on the wall.

I see something in his eyes that I haven't seen often: determination.

Holding the gun in both hands, Connor aims at the target and fires. The bang of the gun is louder than I expected it to be, and I cover my ears as he fires again. I tiptoe and look over his shoulder, my eyes widening. One bullet is fairly close to the middle, and the other one seems to have gone through.

Turning to us with a triumphant look on his face, Connor says, loud and clear, "You're free to start shooting, tributes." His eyes are hard as he looks around. He steps away from where he was shooting and starts walking to the back. He's going to observe us.

I stifle a yawn as I find a target beside Jenny.

I try ignoring the sound each time the trigger is pulled. Instead, I stand, my feet apart for balance and hold the heavy gun in my hands, trying to imitate what Connor was doing. Robert, beside me, hits the target several times. We Erudite are observing, and that always works in our favour.

At first, I hesitantly squeeze the trigger. I miss completely, and I'm not surprised. When I squeezed the trigger, I accidentally shifted a bit. Biting my lower lip, I stand back into the position I originally was standing in, and this time, I try mimicking what Robert is doing. After a few shots, I get used to the gun.

"Hey Emma," whispers Robert over the firing of guns. "Do you need some help?"

I shake my head. I'm not going to look weak, needing some else's help. I know Robert means well — he always does — but I can't afford that right now. Taking a deep breath, I steady my hands as I squeeze the trigger one last time. This time, the bullet hits the target, though far from the middle.

"Good job, Emma," Connor murmurs into my ear as he passes by.

I flush pink, and smile at Jenny as she hits the centre of target. Then I look up to where the Erudite are. The blue-clothed people who used to welcome me, and now were sending me to my death. I see my mother observing us. When she catches my eye she looks away immediately.

I continue to aim for the target, but several things cross my mind. My mother's eyes linger on Leanna and Robert very often. She rarely looks at me. And second, I finally do notice the small things: how she resembled her mother. Her eyes are just like those in the picture — stern, piercing yet attractive eyes. Her face is shaped the same way, and her lips are formed the same way. I even wonder if my mother has any of my grandfather's traits. I'm betting that my mother even talks like Jeanine Matthews. Now _that_ would be creepy.

"Quit the staring, Emma," Jenny says, nudging me. It draws my attention back to her. Her eyes are full of alarm. "You haven't shot at the target in like, ten minutes, Emma. I think the Connor guy is going to be suspicious. C'mon!"

My eyes avert to Connor, who isn't even paying attention, back to the target. I squeeze the trigger anyways. Continuing to squeeze the trigger, I watch as each bullet seems to get closer and closer to the middle. After Connor says something to Jenny, who nods, frozen, he makes his way towards me.

"Whoa, whoa, hold it, Wilson." Connor says, grinning. He pushes the gun down so it faces the ground. He could've taken off my foot if I kept shooting. "When you shoot, pace yourself. You're never going to hit the middle if you continue to shoot at that pace. Got it?"

"Yes." I mutter as I heave the gun up, pointing it at the target.

It takes a few tries, but before I know it, I've finally hit the middle of the target.

"Good going, Emma!" applauds Jenny, who has probably hit more than twenty times in the centre. I smile slightly as Robert gives me a humongous hug. Connor's eyes are twinkling as he winks before turning back to help Leanna. "Now you have officially joined our club!" Jenny makes a huge gesture. "The People Who Have Hit The Middle Of The Target Club!"

"That's such a long name." Robert says, laughing slightly. He glances at Connor anxiously before looking back and laughing again.

I laugh along with them, and I'm glad this time Connor doesn't bother us. We continue to practice, throwing around jokes sometimes.

The only time Connor stops us is when he calls for lunch. When we gather around him, he says, "As part of the Dauntless initiation, you are allowed to have free time. During that time you may go outside, but only from the back. You may not go out in the front or…" He smiles, but it's not a kind smile. It's the Dauntless side of Connor I'm used to. "Or you won't even have to enter the Games."

He nods, "You may practice down here if you would like during that free time, but no using the guns." Connor surveys our group. "As you know, from Erudite you got the fizzy drinks during their initiation. Now during the Dauntless initiation process, you get stuff better than stupid drinks." He grins. "You get Dauntless cake!"

"I love cake." Jenny whispers to me, grinning from ear to ear.

Connor tilts his head and smirks at Jenny, "You have something to say?"

At first, I think Jenny can't answer until she replies, "Yes. I was just wondering, what are those punching bags doing over there?" She points at the rows of punching bags lined up on another side of the wall.

"Those are for you to use sometime during the initiation process." Connor says. Then smiling, again not his "kind" smile, but his unfriendly one, he continues, "For you to use during your free time."

I bite my lip. Since the Erudite checking us sleeping was apparently something they scored for, if I practiced, would my score be raised? Scores are vital to the Games. If you get a good score, you'll probably be targeted by other Divergent, but you get dropped into the arena first. That's what counts. All the goodies for you. Then a minute after, the next person is dropped in.

"Dismissed." Connor says and everyone rushes out.

Except for me and Robert.

I'm still here, Robert by my side, as my eyes stay on the punching bag. If I did this, I would get a higher rank; a better score. I look at Robert who doesn't seem to understand. I almost forgot: he doesn't know about this. Only I do. I probably am the only initiate who knows.

"Hey, Robert, you can head down first if you want." I say. "I…I need a word with Connor."

"Are you sure?" Robert's eyes are knit together. "You know what Connor is capable of. We have to watch each other's backs, Emma."

I smirk, "It's not like he's going to hurt me. I'll beat him up before that happens. Don't worry, Robert. Loosen up. I'll be fine." I nudge him. "Remember? We're here for each other."

"Well, okay…I guess." Robert replies, shrugging before walking away.

I let my cheerful mask drop as I stand beside the punching bag, observing it. It looks heavy. What if I can't actually punch it? Taking one finger, I push the bag. It takes a lot of effort. This _will_ be hard. I'm not that small, but I'm not strong either. I don't have the strength to punch something like that. I'll have to train.

"Emma?" I quickly withdraw my hand, turning around.

It's Connor.

I'm surprised he's still here. When I told Robert, I thought he was outside. I look up. Even the Erudite are gone — probably for lunch too. Well, all except my mother and a few Erudite who seem to be discussing something. They keep pointing at where we were before.

Connor smiles a bit. This time it's a genuine smile. "What are you still doing here?" He asks. "It's lunchtime. You can't miss the cake. It's delicious. Your friend, the Amity one…Jenny? Yeah?" He shrugs. "Well anyways, she made a mad dash for the cafeteria. It's quite hilarious actually."

I laugh a bit, but my heart's not in it. I think Connor realizes that too. He follows my gaze to the punching bag. Leaning on it, Connor says, "Emma, if you're worried about this step in the initiation, it's not that big of a deal. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Okay, _friend_?"

He smirks at me and I punch him in the arm, smiling a bit.

"Okay,_ friend_." I say, giggling a bit. "It's just…I don't think I can punch this thing. It's really heavy."

"Give it a shot." Connor says, stepping back. He raises his eyebrows. "Go on."

I look at the punching bag uneasily as I give it a hard punch. It barely moves, and my knuckles sting. "Ouch!" I mutter, drawing my hand back. Yep, I definitely need practice. I look at Connor. "You were saying?"

"Well, it's not that bad considering what I've seen from initiates from the past." He says, smirking. "If anything, that Candor smart-mouth is the one who might need the most help. He's very tiny, kind of weak-looking even."

"Connor," I warn. "Jake's my friend. Another word and you'll be in the Chasm."

Connor smiles at me innocently. "Candor's are _annoying_." He says, and then before I can say another word he says, "Emma, you've skipped too many meals. I swear, every time I go and eat, three-quarters of the time you aren't there. That's seventy-five percent of the time. You'll probably starve to death in the Games."

I was about to punch him when I suddenly stop myself.

"Oh yeah." I say, looking down at the ground. "The Games are in, what? Three days?"

After the Dauntless initiation, which ends tomorrow evening, they'll rank us. They give us a week to prepare before we are thrown into the arena. It's not a lot, but it's better than nothing.

Then I remember: we have a Visiting Day.

After the show with our rankings have been broadcasted, the next day is when our parents can visit. I think they can stay for the whole day, but they have to leave before dinner. It gives the tribute almost a whole day with their parents. That is, if their parents even bother showing up. I know my mother won't talk to me.

"After lunch you have about an hour of free time." Connor mutters, so only I can hear. "Meet you back here after that?"

"Sure." I reply. I need all the help I can get.

"Emma," Connor says, wheeling around to stop me in my tracks. He looks me in the eye before saying, "Watch out."

Before I can say anything he walks away.

Watch out? Watch out for what?

What does that mean?


	17. Chapter 16: I Punched A Dauntless Leader

**A/N This chapter is superrr long just for you guys! :) I hope you enjoy!  
Keep reading, following/favouriting and reviewing!**

**~ Anna**

* * *

Still a bit confused from Connor's warning, I eat lunch, barely noticing the conversations around me. Leanna joins us regularly for meals now, and I can tell from the way everyone chats with her, welcoming her. Jenny and her Amity friend are chatting away with Leanna who look uneasy in my eyes. Robert chats with Jacob and Luke. Only I'm sitting here, alone, thinking.

"Emma, don't you think that's just amazing?" squeals Jenny.

It takes me a minute to realize she's talking to me. I jump slightly, then turn, smiling at her. "Yeah, totally." I say, even though I have no idea what we're talking about. Jenny giggles, nudging her Amity friend.

"Told ya so!" She says.

Her friend crosses her arms as they get into another round of hand games. I barely notice them. Instead, my eyes are on Connor and I notice things I normally don't notice. The way his lips curl when he smiles. The ways his eyes seem to always hold pride in them, even though he's not even talking. The way his movements are all so swift. The way his head turns —

I look away before he catches me staring at him. The last thing I need is someone pointing out me staring at a Dauntless leader. It's hard, but I set my eyes on my mother instead. I pay attention to her so much, I don't even realize the food on my fork hasn't made it into my mouth until Jenny pokes me. I barely notice it though. Instead, I'm staring at my mother. It's actually creepy if I think about it, but I'm studying her like she's something I've never seen before.

Why haven't I ever noticed that she actually has the ability to smile? The way her watery gray eyes actually sparkle when she smiles. The way her movements are sharp and smooth as if they're all planned out. When she talks, I can see, even if I can't hear her, that she's a strong speaker. Her hair today looks like she hasn't bothered brushing it, or just hasn't had the time. Either that, or she just gets frustrated and her hands start playing with her hair. It's actually one of the things she does that I don't do.

I slowly comprehend everything. When lunch is over, my feet seem to automatically move me towards the training centre. I don't even really realize I'm at the training centre until I'm face-to-face with a punching bag. My eyes widen as I step back, just in time as Connor enters the room.

"What were you going to do, Emma?" He teases. "Make out with it?"

"Shut up Connor." I say, and then I notice it again — his lips curling as he smiles. When I look up at his eyes, they seem to be sparkling even though he hasn't done anything, and I haven't really said anything nice to him.

"You know, I'm surprised you even showed up." Connor replies.

What does he mean by that? From the tone of his voice, I can tell that he's not being sarcastic, and he's being honest. Did he really think I was going to ditch the only training I could have before the Games? No way. I put up my fists as I stand, my legs apart, ready to punch the bag.

"No, no." Connor says. He helps me fix my posture. He moves my arms a bit and then he changes the angle I stand at. "Emma, you're supposed to be an Erudite. Can't you tell some things are wrong?" He purses his lips as stares down at me. "You're not _that_ tall, are you?"

He stares at the punching back as if evaluating if it could bring me down.

"I think you'd have a better chance if you aimed for a person's jaw." Connor continues on. "We're fighting today, and I'm not going to give away who you're fighting, but I think you have a good chance of winning." He grins. "Still, aiming for the jaw is like…the best chance you've got. The person you're facing is taller than you by quite a lot."

I try to remember who's taller than me. The Abnegation boys are all taller than me, so is Leanna, Robert and Luke. Everyone else is about my height or shorter. There are bigger chances that I'm going to end up facing a boy. I frown a bit. A boy facing a girl wouldn't be fair. Depending on who has more training, that person would win. Or the person who normally is fitter.

"So basically…" Connor pulls out a marker from his pocket. Why would he need a marker? Then, he draws the most ridiculous face ever. Two circles for eyes and a circle for a mouth. We all know who didn't have Amity friends when younger. "Pretend this is your opponent."

"Um…okay." I shudder slightly as I raise my fists. I try replicating the position Connor has given me. He may be a jerk sometimes, but he definitely knows how to fight, and I'm going to take his knowledge and use it as my own. Then I aim for what I _think_ is the jaw, and punch hard.

My knuckles sting on impact.

I withdraw my hand, shaking the stinging feeling out as I punch again. Over, and over. The stinging continues, but I push the pain aside. It's not easy: I'm not used to this pain. But I continually remind myself, in the end, I'll face worse than this. The Erudite, or "Gamemakers" as everyone nicknames them, will make sure there's a show for everyone else while they do their "experiments".

That brings other thoughts into my mind. Why is it our fault we're born this way? We're not bad people. They just can't control us. They think we're different and they want to test us.

The anger those thoughts bring out are astounding. I punch the bag so hard, it swings a bit. I feel my knuckles burning now, but I forget about that, punching harder and harder. Eventually, I lose it and start kicking at the punching bag. I completely forget about the environment — the Erudite, Connor — until I feel someone poke me.

I turn, my fists up, and Connor jumps back, laughing, his hands up in the air in surrender. "Whoa, Emma!" He says, grinning. "Don't waste those tiny fists on me. You'll need them for the Games!" Then he sends me a smirk. "Or should I call you 'E'?"

"'E'?" I repeat. "That's such a dumb name."

"Well…it sounds so much tougher than just 'Emma' or even 'Emilia'." He snorts, and when he sees me staring at him, he shrugs. "Emma, it's not a secret what your full name is. I mean, sure, everyone calls you Emma. But your name in the records is Emilia."

"Emma." I say firmly. "Call me Emma."

I just realize how close we are before a flash of blue catches my eyes. I look up just in time to see a blue-clothed person walk away from the Erudite work space. Connor glances up and grumbles a few words that aren't the kindest, under his breath. He walks to the doors.

"Your mother," He says when he catches my puzzled look. "She obviously doesn't approve of me helping you. I think it's better if you leave. There are only two minutes anyways before the break ends. Maybe you could start preparing for your fight."

Just as I'm about to exit the doors, he stops me. Just like Leanna did at the aptitude test. It feels so familiar and strange at the same time, I almost shiver uncontrollably.

"You would belong here." He says. His eyes are stern, sincere, but still with the pride in it. I look him in the eyes. What does he mean? "If you chose Dauntless, Emma, you would be one of us. You would belong with us."

Not sure how to answer, I simply mumble a "thanks" before heading off.

* * *

"Yo." I see Jenny nudging me as Connor talks about how the fighting will work. I hadn't been paying attention. I spaced out. But now my full attention is back on Connor, thanks to Jenny.

"Thankfully, there are an even number of you." Connor continues from whatever he was saying. "All of you will be fighting your only fight here at the training centre with another tribute. Today, one of our…" Connor hesitates as he moistens his lips, "_other_ Dauntless leaders have decided to join along with our _very_ valued Erudite leader, Elizabeth Wilson."

The way he says it is as if he doesn't hold the same respect level. I don't think anyone else catches it though because their eyes are all focused on my mother and the other Dauntless leader. Connor introduces him. The man has many piercings and catches my eye immediately. His name sticks. Ethan.

"The fight ends when one of the fighters is unable to continue." Ethan says, stepping out, continuing Connor's words. If I thought Connor was scary before, he seems like a butterfly compared to Ethan.

The way Ethan speaks, the way the words come out harsh and yet at the same time, loud, it feels dangerous. He isn't a transfer, and I believe he was born Dauntless. Out of the five Dauntless leaders, the only transfer is Connor, and I'm not even sure how he became leader. I can only guess, now that I've seen the other leaders, that my mother is involved somehow.

"You could always give up," Connor says after Ethan finishes speaking.

"But that wouldn't be very Dauntless of you." Ethan says, stepping forward and in front of Connor. I roll my eyes. Typical. They both are attention stealers, and try getting all the attention on them. "So, I suggest you not to."

"Actually," This is the first time I've heard my mother actually speak as herself, and not someone sending me to my death or someone going insane. She steps out this time, drawing all the attention on her. Her blue Erudite clothes are smooth as she clasps her hands in front of her, "on the contrary."

Her gray eyes survey the others as she gives Ethan a look. I look at my fellow tributes. They all look nervous when my mother's eyes pass over them; tense even. I'm not. But I'm surprised that out of all of them, Leanna looks the most tense. I'm worried she's about to break down.

"It is preferred that you concede." My mother continues. I see Ethan's face turn red as he steps back. Connor seems to be beaming now. She turns to face us. "As you know, you will be placed in the arena no matter what condition you are in. So, if you cannot hold out any longer, it would be better for you that you concede."

I see what's going on here. She makes it seem like she's genuinely concerned about us and that she doesn't want us injured. I see everyone smiling a bit. Yeah, like they know anything. She'll still dock the points. The only reason she doesn't want us injured is because she wants to still experiment on us. She just puts it in words like that so it'll _seem_ like it'll benefit us more. She's manipulative, and I knew that before, but I never realized how powerful it was before. The only person who doesn't seem to be enlightened by her words is Leanna. What's up with her?

"Points will still be docked, won't they?" Leanna says, speaking up.

My mother doesn't hesitate, but she doesn't rush forward to answer either. So of course, taking this as a chance, Connor speaks, "I don't really think that's a concern right now. Just keep yourself in presentable shape. Don't want your parents fussing over you, would you?"

That stops the questions, but now everyone's aware. My mother shoots Leanna a distasteful look that I catch her doing as we gather around the board on the wall right behind the fighting mat. I look at the board, my eyes narrowing.

Luke is against Brittany, the girl from Amity. That's hard, but I'm rooting for Luke because I know him better. I feel a pang of guilt in my chest. Just because I don't know Brittany doesn't mean she's bad person but still… Then I continue looking down. I see Robert who's against one of the Abnegation boys. I look at the boy and then realize: he's one who didn't jump off the train. I continue scanning through the list. Jacob is against Leanna. For a moment, I'm stunned. Then I realize: of course Connor would do this. He'd love to see Leanna have an Abnegation moment before pummeling Jacob. Or would she?

Then I continue looking at the list. Jenny is against the other Abnegation boy. I'm sure she'll do fine. They're only Abnegation after all. What could they do? When I see who I'm fighting I almost choke. I'm against Jasper. He's the other Abnegation boy, and even though he's Abnegation, I'm wary of him. I saw him shooting with the gun. He was really good. I'm pretty sure he would have had times a thousand memberships in Jenny's People-Who-Have-Hit-The-Middle-Of-The-Target Club.

I'm worried now.

I watch as Luke and Brittany go on the mat. Brittany is Amity, so she probably can't do much. I'm surprised though, as Luke hesitates, and Brittany makes a mad tackle. That's when Luke starts struggling. They exchange punches, Brittany on top of Luke, her fists balled up, punching a struggling Luke.

"Brit!" I see Jenny yell in horror.

Luke is starting to turn difference colours — colours that I'm sure aren't natural. He kicks her in the face, knocking her off of him. I cover my mouth to stifle a scream as I watch Ethan pace around us, watching the fight, his eyes full of excitement. Connor's not the biggest jerk after all. This guy is.

As Luke and Brittany fight, I feel fingers on my shoulder. They aren't familiar. They're longer than Connor's. I shake my head. Why am I thinking about Connor's fingers? That's so weird. I look behind me and see Ethan, his eyebrows raised as he lowers his voice. It scares me with his voice that low.

"So…you're the Wilson, aren't you?" He says, his voice low. "Well, I must say it's nice to meet you, finally. The shame on Erudite, right?"

Robert's eyes shoot up immediately as he makes his way towards me. I shake my head. Ethan's eyes rove over Robert and then he chuckles, "Oh. So your little boyfriend coming to save you? I see. Well, I'll being seeing you for the next few days." He smirks, giving me a hard pat on the back before going back to Connor's side.

I watch Connor avoid eye contact. I know he's been watching the whole time from the way he acts. Robert finally whispers, "What was that all about?" He glances at Ethan. "He's worse than Connor, isn't he?"

"Yes." I say without hesitation. Then I snap, "Connor's not _that_ bad."

Robert smiles weakly just then I hear shouting. Jenny's screaming her throat out, telling Brittany to stop pummeling Luke. I see my mother eyeing Jenny with interest. I pull Jenny aside. Her eyes are hard, but I see that she's ready to break. I glance over her shoulder at Luke. They're both probably bruised but none are bleeding yet, thank goodness.

"Jenny!" I shout, enough to make her stop screaming. "Stop! There's nothing that's going to stop them! They're overpowered by the thirst to live!" Then I lower my voice and say, "Plus you've got my mother's attention."

Jenny's eyes rove over at my mother before she quiets down, her eyes wide still. Then I realize it finally. The Dauntless initiation is where everyone changes. I can't let that happen to me. I want to go down as myself. Not as someone that has been changed because of initiation.

Then I hear a scream.

Luke is on his back and as he turns, a fist comes down upon his face. He's pretty beaten, and now he's bleeding. His nose I think. I look at Connor, waving my arms madly. Are they not going to do anything? Luke fights, calling Brittany some pretty bad words. Brittany brings him down again just as I see Connor stepping forward. Ethan's hand blocks him.

Ethan must stand higher than Connor because Connor, although looking concerned, steps back. Then Luke staggers up, coughing out red. I gasp, slightly taken aback at the sight. I don't like this. I don't like it at all. I look at Ethan. His eyes are sparkling.

"Enough!" I hear my mother's voice ring loud and clear. Her eyes are angry. They land on Ethan who winces and steps away from her. Brittany's fist is in the air as Connor pulls her off Luke. Luke's eyes are tearing up. "Ethan, bring the wounded one to the infirmary."

"Yes ma'am," I hear Ethan grumble as he drags Luke away.

I look away, imagining Luke, battered and barely breathing. Brittany joins us, blood on her knuckles. Jenny steps forward, but she looks afraid. All of us, excluding Jenny, step away from Brittany. We've seen her strength. All my mother is angry is that she can't perform perfect experiments on Luke or get proper results.

Robert looks nervous as Connor tells the next two to get on the mat. The Abnegation boy looks even more nervous. I think Robert has a better chance of overpowering him. This boy doesn't look like much.

Robert is analyzing and observing the boy. It's something I've learned from Erudite to see if someone is doing that. Just as the boy lunges, Robert moves to the side. He's surprisingly fast when he wants to. The Abnegation boy rolls off the mat. Robert stands, looking at Connor expectantly.

"Get back on the mat." Connor seems to spit those words viciously. Guess the old Connor is back. I look at Robert as he finally realizes what he should do. The boy is slightly shorter than him. Robert could easily overpower him. That's exactly what Robert should do. Still, Robert looks uneasy punching someone.

"Get a move on it!" I hear someone shout from the back.

I turn my head, not surprised to see Ethan back. Of course he couldn't miss a fight. I see my mother rolling her eyes from the side. Just then, Robert aims a punch for the boy's stomach. As the boy covers his stomach, Robert trips him and gives him a nice punch to the ribs. I wince. That must hurt.

Jenny looks at me, worried.

"It's okay," I say. "Robert doesn't have to hurt him more."

But of course, he has to in order to win. Robert looks at his fist and then, knocks out the boy. He's smart. Too hard of a punch to the brain would have damaged it, but he did enough to knock out the boy. That way it saves the both of them time.

"Good job, Robert!" Connor seems to talk rapidly, without putting emotion into his words. Probably just to avoid Ethan's remarks. He asks Brittany to bring the boy to the infirmary before turning to the board and announcing, "Jacob Peterson and Leanna Moore!"

I see Leanna and Jacob look nervously at each other as they get on that mat. No way will Leanna injured Jacob and Jacob isn't capable of injuring Leanna. Ethan seems to have a smirk plastered on his face. Just as he's about to open his mouth, Connor interjects, "Move it, Candor!"

Jacob looks nervous as his eyes travel from Connor back to Leanna.

"It's okay, kid." Leanna says. "Just go."

I don't want Leanna to get hurt _or_ Jacob. Jacob shuffles to the side. I look at my mother. Instead of looking worried, her eyes are sparkling. She should know Leanna will overpower Jacob and injure him beyond repair. Or is she just hoping that Leanna will get hurt? Probably the second one. Abnegation and Erudite. I almost forgot about the rivalry between the factions.

Ethan has enough. He steps forward and shouts, "Stiff! If you're not going to fight, I'll go up and do it for you!"

He must be serious because of his tone and Leanna knows better than to let Jacob get beat by a Dauntless leader. I give her a worried look as she takes a deep breath and steps forward.

"Go." I hear that one word before Jacob lunges at her.

Jacob punches her in the face and I wince. I don't want to see this. I turn away, taking deep breaths, looking away. I can't control my feelings. I try to hold back bursting into tears. I remember Luke, bloody and the Abnegation boy knocked out. He got the luckier side of the fights.

When I hear Jenny gasp, I know Leanna probably has a bloody nose or something. I hear another gasp and Jenny telling Jacob to back off. What's going on? I turn and gasp. Leanna looks as bad as Luke, probably a little better though. Why isn't my mother saying anything?

Connor opens his mouth but my mother puts a finger up. Her eyes have a glint in them. I don't like that glint. Does she really hate Leanna enough to do this to Leanna? I step forward, my eyes wide and firm.

"Stop!" I shout. "Can't you see she's had _enough_?"

"This is none of your business, Wilson." Ethan spits at me. He pushes me, so I shove him back. My eyes are firm and anger is pouring out of me. His eyes widen in surprise before he goes in my face and says, "What? What are you going to do?"

"Emma!" I hear Connor's voice ring over the mutters of Jenny. "Back off! And Stiff" — he turns to Leanna — "you'd better fight back or your friends are going to have some trouble."

I see Leanna struggling to get up as I ball my hand into a fist. Ethan's eyes follow my fist. "Oh, you gonna punch me?" He says, laughing. "Do you even _know_ how to punch? You're —" Before he finishes, I give him a hard punch to the face.

"Emilia!" my mother yelps.

Ethan's nose is bleeding and he curses at me under his breath. I see Connor trying not to laugh. Jenny gives me a smile and I see Leanna even smiling. She's on top of Jacob now, and has knocked out the poor kid. My mother tells Ethan to go to the infirmary and to pinch the bridge of his nose or something.

When he does, my mother turns to Leanna and tells her she's done. Jacob is brought to the infirmary by Robert who volunteers. Jenny smiles at me, her eyes sparkling, "That was amazing, Emma! How did you get such a hard punch?"

"Just…something I do." I say, smiling back.

Leanna pats me on the back. She's smiling. She's battered up, but smiling. My mother eyes her with distaste and says, "Leanna, I do suggest you going to the infirmary to be patched up."

"No thanks," Leanna says as Connor hands her a towel and she wipes her face. "I think I'm good."

My mother scowls a bit before looking at the next pair of fighters. Jenny is facing one of the other Abnegation boys. I don't know if he's good, but from the way he seems to be looking at Jenny, he seems to be smart. That can't be good for Jenny. He seems to be doing what Robert did.

Jenny lunges for the mid-section of the boy. That's her first mistake. The boy is taller than her. He'll easily be able to take her over. The boy doubles over but he immediately brings Jenny down. She's pinned now. The boy is about to punch her, when Jenny's legs come into action. With a grunt, she kicks the boy in the stomach with both her legs. He releases in that moment of pain.

Taking her chance, Jenny kicks him in the stomach again. With her fist, she punches it at his chin. That's her first smart move. I see my mother nodding along with her moves as she brings him down. Just as she's about to punch again, him being stronger, manages to fling her off him. Jenny lands with a thud.

I wince. That sounds like it hurt.

The Abnegation, though, are surprisingly better than I expected them to be. That worries me for my competitor even more. I look at my knuckles. They sting from the punch that I used on Ethan. Then I look at Jasper. There is no way I'm losing to him…right?

After a few more minutes of analyzing Jasper, I hear a whoop and look over. Jenny has won. It's obvious. The Abnegation boy is on the ground, gasping, and he looks barely conscious. This is what we've come to. Winning over another person — knocking them out — makes us so happy.

"Good job!" I say, but I don't sound excited as Jenny wraps her arms around me.

Brittany, who has returned, gives Jenny a hug, smiling and congratulating her. Jenny seems to have a bruise forming on her eye. I just smile and pretend everything is okay.

"Emilia Wilson and Jasper Carl!" calls Connor. He gives me a firm nod.

I see Ethan walking through the doors with an ice pack. He couldn't miss this, could he? He smirks at me and then joins Connor as I step onto the mat with Jasper. Jasper's eyes are firm, fixed on me. Before I can comprehend anything, Jasper tackles me to the ground and gives me a firm punch in the stomach. He's about to punch my face when I roll away.

I'm not a slow runner, so when I do what Jenny did — kick the person in the stomach — I get up and put my fists up. When Jasper gets up, I do what Connor says. I punch him in the jaw. He scowls and is dazed in that moment. I rush at him and give him a nice punch in the ribs. My knuckles sting even more as he winces, falling to the side. He groans as I kick him in the stomach. Just as I think I'm going to win, he grabs my legs and throws me to the ground.

My head hurts and when I touch my head, I feel something wet. Groaning, I keep my head on the ground. I see a blurry figure walking over me and making a fist. I look over at the blurry figure of mother who isn't even budging. She's not going to do anything. The figure punches me once and I gasp for air.

"Stop!" I hear a voice shout. "Stop!"

Then, everything goes black.


	18. Chapter 17: Waking Up Like A Zombie

**A/N Thank you guys for the comments/reviews! It really helps with writing this! I'll be updating more frequently too, now, so yay!  
****Keep reading, following/favouriting, and commenting/reviewing! :)**

**~ Anna**

* * *

When I wake, I find myself in the infirmary. My head throbs and I feel like all the energy has drained out of me. It's night because it's dark out. Jenny sits beside me, her eyes worried.

"Don't worry," she says, smiling a bit, just for my sake. "You aren't that bad. Luke…he's not going to heal so well. The doctors say you'll be better just in time for the Games. You'll have to stay here tonight though."

I groan, leaning back into the bed.

"I just don't understand…" I mutter, my fingers brushing over my blood-red knuckles. "How did I lose? To a…a _Stiff_?" My voice cracks a bit. "Jenny…do you know what happened after I was knocked out?"

Jenny nods slightly, her lips pinched into a line. "I believe you. That Connor guy is a great person…sometimes." She says, her voice shaking and her lips quivering. "Right after you were on the ground, he called for the match to stop. That Jasper kid got you one last time though." She takes my hand and then looks up at me. "You'll be fine, Emma. I was so worried…I thought you stopped breathing."

She shakes her head and I can see tears threatening to spill. "How could they do this to us?" She whimpers. "This isn't even humane! We're beating each other…and what does that do? How is that even going to help us? It's going to make us weak for the real Games!"

"People fight in the real Games," I remind her. "This is how they train."

"That's just…insane." Jenny shakes her head. I'm almost afraid that her head is going to fall off. "I…I don't want to do this. Ever. I hope this is the last time this has to happen."

I take a shaky breath. "Me too," I say. "Me too."

* * *

Sometime after dinner, Connor enters the infirmary with my mother. I'm wheeled into another room for privacy as my mother requires it. It'll only be for a few minutes anyways. I see Connor looking nervous.

"Are you okay?" He says. "That…that was horrible what happened to you. I thought you got him."

I nod, swallowing hard, "Yeah, so did I. But thanks…for stopping him. That was really nice of you."

Connor frowns, "You were injured, of course —"

"Could you two flirt somewhere else?" my mother snaps.

Immediately, she breaks the tension. Connor and I both look at her expectantly. My mother sighs, and then speaks, "I am not here just for you, Emilia, if that's what you think. I'm here simply to just tell you what happens when you are injured. You _will_ still be sent into the Games despite your injuries. If they don't heal by the time the Games start, that's not our problem. You are still required to attend the Dauntless training unless you are as injured as…Luke? Yes, Luke. However, the doctors said you should be able to heal by then."

She hesitates for a minute before extending her hand. "May I see your injuries?"

I hesitate too because I don't know if I still trust her. Connor just nods at me, but he avoids eye contact. My mother's words hit him hard, and I'm not sure why. Then tense, I nod. I know for sure that I injured my head. Apparently my head started bleeding or something.

My mother stands up, her hands carefully picking through my hair as she looks at the injury. I've almost forgotten how her hands feel when she used to help me put up my hair. Their movements are so smooth, and so gentle. It's strange because you would think someone like her would have harsher movements.

"Well," she says, sitting down. Then she takes her hands and gently touches my face. I wince. Then sighing she says, "You should be fine. Your head wasn't bleeding a lot; just a bit. Your face should heal quickly with our new lotion."

She takes the lotion from the drawer and pours some out. Then, she moves her finger over my face, putting the lotion on the bruised areas. Her lips curl slightly as her gray eyes sparkle and she puts the lotion to the side. Then nodding, she leaves without another word, leaving Connor to wheel me out as she goes to see the next tribute.

"Emma," Connor murmurs to me, "she still loves you, I'm telling you!"

"Right," I say, my voice thick with sarcasm. "That's why she treated me like any other tribute."

Connor stops wheeling me and then gives me a hard look. "Look," He says. "She didn't check out the injuries of the other tributes — not even Luke!" He tilts his head, his brown eyes full of thought. "Then, she helped you with applying lotion. You know what? She didn't do that to anyone else. It's just you."

He continues wheeling me out, leaving me with no words. He is right about the applying lotion part. Technically, she isn't the doctor, although she was trained to be one at a point in her life. She's a teacher, a doctor and probably everything else. She isn't supposed to help tributes or apply medicine to them. It was only me.

A flutter of hope rises in me.

_Don't be ridiculous_, I tell myself. _She is still the person that is sending you to your death. She doesn't care or else she would have done something earlier._

With those thoughts, I feel stronger, not falling for tricks or small kind gestures from someone. She could just be doing that so I let my guard down. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter to me anymore. Nothing she does anymore. All acts of kindness are just for the upcoming Games. They aren't genuine.

Everything is lies.

* * *

The next morning, I get up, my head dizzy. That lotion that my mother has applied works well. I talked to Luke in the morning. He looks better, but he's in no condition to go for training. He says they even started using a lotion that was only in testing, hoping that _that_ would help him recover. That's how desperate they are.

When I get to the training centre, everyone is already throwing knives. I check the time. I'm late. No wonder. I see Ethan in the corner, pacing around the tributes. He's actually giving advice which is what I find strange. Connor hands me three knives, looking at me in the eye. He's expression is placid, and I can't see what he's thinking.

"Hello there," I hear Ethan's voice beside me. I jump and turn as he smirks at me. If I wasn't a tribute or the Erudite leader's daughter, he would've already pummeled me. I know it. "Today you will be working on your aim. Throwing these" — he motions at the knives — "at those targets." He points at the targets.

"Go!" He shouts, waking me up slightly as I run towards the empty target beside Leanna. Her eyes are hard in concentration as every knife she throws seems to hit the middle. Her aim is amazing.

I remember what Connor told me yesterday. Don't keep shooting constantly. I have to pause, readjust and then throw. The knives feel so strange in my hands, that it takes a couple of readjustments before it actually feels okay. I watch as Connor and Ethan challenge each other to a knife throwing contest. I watch Connor and Ethan's movements. Ethan is really good with knives.

I try to copy Ethan's movements, not actually throwing the knife. My arm swings as if I'm about to throw it, but I don't. Then, I actually throw it. I watch as my knife slams into the target. It sticks for a second before it falls to the ground. Grinning to myself, I practice the stance a few more times, copying Ethan, and then I throw the knife. If I say so myself, I'm getting quite good at it. It feels almost natural.

I can sense Ethan behind me, watching me. Then he grabs my arm before I throw the knife and slowly goes through the motion with me. My knives all hit the target, but never in the middle. However, when I throw it with the movement Ethan gives me, my knife hits the middle and sticks for a few seconds.

"Thanks," I mumble.

He lets go of my arm before going to other tributes and helping them out. This is the difference between someone who loves doing something and their normal self. When they love doing something, they just help others and they are definitely not their normal-evil self.

I use the stance Ethan gives me and it helps, continuously, as I hit the middle. I look over at the others. Robert's not doing so well, although he, like me is trying to copy techniques from Ethan teaching others. Jenny seems to fumble with the knife first before she throws it. Brittany is doing okay. I think physical contact is better for her than that. The Abnegation are doing okay. My eyes are on Jasper. He throws so easily and it hits the target. I wonder if there's anything he's bad at.

We keep throwing and my arm starts getting tired. Just as I'm about to fall, I see the doors open and my mother comes in with Erudite flanked around her. They all have clipboards and I know what they're doing. They're all here to evaluate us. I'm surprised to see Connor among them, but then again, he used to be an Erudite.

Taking the chance to look good and get a good score, I readjust my stance and then throw. My knife hits close to the centre before falling to the ground. Biting my lip and trying not to curse as an Erudite approaches from behind me. I take another knife, position it so it feels alright in my hand, I throw again, this time paying more attention to my position and my throw. The knife hits the centre before falling to the ground. It doesn't stick, but hey, that's good.

The Erudite beside me goes away and goes onto Leanna who is doing just fine. All her knives hit the centre and it takes a few seconds before the Erudite moves on. He must realize there's no point staying with her because she hits all the time. That will give her a good score.

My eyes dart over at the plants that we planted the first day. A few more are dead and I wince. Then I nudge Leanna, and she looks at me, her eyes wide. "Yes?" She asks.

"Leanna, did you remember about the Amity plants?" I ask her, my voice tense.

Leanna nods, "Of course." After throwing a couple of knives and seeing that I'm not moving, she smiles, "Hey, don't worry. A few of us…Robert, and Jenny? Yeah, well they helped some other people's plants. I saw yours. You're fine. Actually, your plant is doing really well."

My eyes widen as I look over at Jenny and Robert. Jenny would help because she would know how, and that's very nice of her. But Robert? I remember him having slightly more difficulty than me and he's helping others? I know the other person that must of helped is Leanna. The Abnegation woman inside of her still helps others because she's so used to it.

"Thank you," I say, looking at her. "You've helped me so much…I don't even know how to repay you."

Leanna smiles, "Stay alive."

Those are two strange words that come out of someone's mouth. Before I can question her, the Erudite leave and Ethan calls us in. I don't even realize that's already lunch time. He is smiling and I don't like it.

"In the afternoon, one by one you will be called into the same room you went into for the truth serum." Ethan starts, his eyes trailing greedily all over us. "The last and final stage is _mental_. Prepare yourselves, tributes. This is where most of our tributes go insane." He laughs loudly before continuing. "All the Dauntless leaders and some Erudite will be watching the next stage of initiation on screen. Those are the only people watching."

What? Everyone looks nervous as we look at each other. This time I actually see how the Abnegation are the Career tributes. They stand to the side, excluding Leanna, grinning and smirking at each other. One of them just looks nervous, like he's trying to fit in, but the other two look like they actually are smirking.

"Dismissed." Ethan then beckons at me. "You. I want to talk to you."

Connor steps forward but Ethan puts a finger up, "Not you, Jefferson. I want to talk to Miss. Erudite, one-to-one." He looks at Connor giving him a dark look. I watch as Connor gives me a shrug and walks out.

"Alright, listen." Ethan says, stepping closer to me. I step back, but he grabs me, his eyes hard. I should have known he didn't just forget about yesterday. Obviously. This is a Dauntless we're talking about; not Abnegation. "If you _ever_ question my leadership in front of me, I'm not going to ever make your life easy."

"What are you going to do?" I scowl. "You can't possibly make my life worse. I'm already going to the Games. Kill me, whatever. It was going to happen anyways."

Ethan's eyes flash dangerously before he releases me and says, "You wouldn't mind, would you? Maybe the little Abnegation part of you would pay more attention to what I would possibly do to your friends."

Oh yes. I've almost forgotten the results logged are Abnegation and Erudite.

He's left me speechless, because I know he actually is capable of doing what he says. He leaves me alone in the room. I swallow hard. Everyone seems to know exactly where to hit me. I _am_ the weaker one. I touch my face tentatively. It hurts a bit still. I walk over to the punching bag although my stomach growls. Then I punch it just like Connor taught me. My anger drains away, slowly though.

When I hear the doors open, I turn I'm surprised to see Pete, the same guy who did the truth serum testing. He's talking with a woman — Candor from the look of it. Then I recognize her. She's Rose, Candor leader. I purse my lips and look away just as I hear Rose's voice.

"Oh! Is that Emilia Wilson?" She asks. "She looks terrible."

_Candor_. I think. This is Jacob and Luke's leader. I'm starting to believe Connor that all Candor are annoying. Pete smiles weakly at me as I turn to look at her. "Rose, she's been in a fight." He says gently. "She's healing though."

"You guys are brutal." Rose says, shaking her head.

Pete's smile looks strained as they pass through another set of doors. I continue punching and when they come back, Pete bids farewell to Rose before coming up to me. I stop punching to turn towards the Erudite. He kind of looks like her. They have the same dark skin.

"I'm sorry about that." Pete says, he smiles weakly at me. His shoulders are tense. I can see that. He must have seen me punch Ethan yesterday. That wasn't a really good thing. "The Candor…you know, they speak their mind. They don't conceal anything."

"I've noticed." I say curtly. Then I bite my lower lip. I didn't mean to say it that rudely. Then I try taking it back, "I'm sorry…it's just with everything I don't even know what to really say. Luke's injured and —"

"I saw." Pete's voice is surprisingly soft. "And I feel really bad for him. I don't think he's even going to be able to heal before the Games." His voice seems strained. "We're doing everything we can, but you know, it's just not working well. That girl really beat him up."

"Brittany," I mutter under my breath. I have to keep an eye on her. She's a threat.

"Yes." Pete seems relieved, possibly because I haven't exploded. The few times that we've talked, or he's seen me, I've always been explosive and uncooperative and I want him to see me as someone else. "Well…good luck, Emilia."

"Emma," I correct and then wince. "That's…my name. My name's Emma. No one calls me Emilia except my mother."

Pete smiles at me widely. "Of course, Emma." He grins before leaving the training centre. I think about everything he has said. I'm glad I wasn't rude to him during the truth serum section. He probably would have been one of my friends at Erudite.

I suddenly wonder what my life would have been if I wasn't chosen for the Games. Would I be in Erudite? I probably would have been. What would my mother have me doing? Probably working alongside her for this Game. I take a deep breath. I have to stop thinking about the "_what ifs"_ because they aren't happening. Ever.

I close my eyes and push open the door without looking back.

Ever.


	19. Chapter 18: Fear Stations

After lunch, I spent time with the punching bag with a face on it. It was just me in the room, by myself. I needed that time. What if Jasper crept up behind me in the Games? He would easily overpower me. I practiced until my knuckles started bleeding. Then I grabbed some bandages and then went to meet up with the others in the same room where the truth serum was inserted.

I see the others, nervous. It's just the same Abnegation trying to stay powerful-looking. Leanna moves her hands up and down her pants, wiping sweat I presume. She's nervous. I look at Ethan who is standing at the door as Connor counts the number of tributes. Luke, looking terrible, joins us. He is required to attend otherwise his points can't all be calculated.

"As usual," Connor says, slurring his words, "we will be going in reverse order of the factions that are in charge. Ladies first. Leanna Moore." He nods at Leanna who looks like she's ready to scream and then, straightening her posture, she walks into the room. I can't see anything in the room except a reclining metal chair that looks similar to the one we had for the aptitude test.

Ethan enters the room with Connor, leaving the rest of us tense. No one says a word except Brittany who says, "I'm sorry, Luke. I didn't mean to hurt you _that_ badly." She motions at Luke who winces as he tries to smile.

"It's already happened, Brittany." He says. "I want to forgive you but I can't because I can barely talk." He does something which I think is him trying to chuckle but it just ends up looking painful.

Jacob winces as he helps Luke reposition on the chair. Luke is like a still, Stiff figure. I'm not trying to be mean, but he literally can't move. "It's better than it looks," Luke continues. He looks at me. "Your mother is really nice. She said she has a new experimental thing where it'll hopefully heal me faster. With the current medicine it'll take me about a week to heal. She said the new one might take just a few days."

"Oh, yes, I bet." I say, my voice thick with sarcasm. They don't know about her plans, and I don't want to ruin the happiness that's in the room just yet. Robert just looks concerned as I hear screaming inside. Robert turns towards the door and all the tributes look frightened. Then I hear sobbing. Leanna's sobbing only brings bad feelings on me. I swallow hard. What are they doing to her?

"Dauntless initiation," I turn to Robert, narrowing my eyes. "What's the third stage?"

"I…" Robert trails off, biting his lower lip, thinking hard. "Well, we went through…" He mouths "oh". Then leaning in, he says, "My father was Dauntless. He said something about fears before."

"Fear stations." I say, the truth dawning on me. I heard my mother talking about them before, but I never realized they were stationed in Dauntless. A few minutes pass before Leanna comes out, her eyes red and puffy. Connor leads her away, somewhere else as the next Abnegation boy goes in. Minutes ago, after hearing Leanna saying something, he has lost his "cool". He's shaking.

We have to face our worst fears. Is that even possible? I look over at Leanna who is on the other side of the wall and barely see Connor trying to calm her down. She must be one of the worst experiencing everything because Connor doesn't just try calming down anyone. Something about her, her fears, has really hit her deep. I hear a few things inside the room from the Abnegation boy, but no screams that came from Leanna.

I scoot closer to where Leanna and Connor are and try to listen in. I want to know what happened to Leanna. Connor's voice says, "Leanna, calm down. He was always dead…okay? She's not going to kill you. And Emma, Emma's right there. She's alive, she's alive —"

I turn away from their conversation. What do _I_ have to do with anything? Did Leanna see me dying? My breaths are suddenly short and quick. Robert squeezes my hand, telling it will be alright. Did Leanna foresee my death? I tell myself that's silly, but at the same time, I can't think logically.

I watch as the Abnegation boy exits, his eyes wide in fear and walks upstairs. He's been in there longer than Leanna, but he's not reacting the same way. Why? My mouth drops open as the next boy goes in. I hear a muffled sob from inside a few minutes later. When he comes out, his eyes are red. Then it's Jasper's turn. Even Jasper is shaking now. If Jasper is scared, shouldn't I be too?

Leanna and Connor still haven't returned and I'm worried that Leanna won't stop crying. It's not like I can hear her anymore, but I'm guessing that's because has brought her somewhere else. I'm surprised to hear nothing from the room. Of course, Jasper just has to not scream. Then, I hear a small scream. It's nothing compared to Leanna's, but it makes me feel good even though I know it's not supposed to.

"Okay, I'm going to be super honest." Jenny says, wincing. "I'm scared."

"That's the point of the fear station." Jacob replies. "It's 'fear' right? And fear means you should be scared." His lips are quivering as he speaks. "It's…it's not even…" He stops, like he has a hard time talking.

"Hey, it's fine." I promise. "It's all simulation alright?"

They all nod but they're all tense. When Jasper comes out, in goes Luke. Luke goes in and I see some Erudite rushing out to help him and opening the door wider. That's when I see my mother sitting on one of the chairs, jotting down notes. There are three leaders sitting around her, staring at the scream, two of them chatting. I recognize one as Hector. I know him because my mother has always kept an eye on him and Rose. It's apparently because their siblings once were part of the rebellion so they're untrustworthy. Last time I heard, they're actually on the trusted side of my mother despite their siblings.

Ethan closes the door the minute Luke makes it through. His eyes land on me before the door closes. I shiver slightly. A few minutes later, Luke comes out. He looks frightened, probably scarred for life. His eyes are wide, and he seems paralyzed as an Erudite wheels him in a wheelchair away. Before Jacob goes in, I see Connor back. He looks a bit nervous — I see it in his eyes, but he enters the room. Jacob follows, looking back. He looks scared.

Jenny gives him thumbs up and he enters the room. A few moments after, there are screams and they are almost as loud as Leanna's. I want to run to the door to tell them to stop torturing my friend, but I know they aren't. Jake's fears must be really scary to him if he's screaming on the outside. Rarely does anything from the simulations come onto the outside.

When he exits, minutes later, I see Connor behind him. Connor's face is chalky pale. He helps Jacob back up the elevator. Jacob is just as pale as Connor. He seems to be looking at injuries that don't even exist. Then goes in Brittany. After a few quiet minutes, she comes out, looking just as stunned, but not as affected. She is like Jasper, holding in the fear.

Jenny is pale by now and when she goes in, I give her thumbs up and encouragement. She gave it to Jacob, so I will give it to her. After a few minutes, I lose count how many, Jenny comes out. She's shaking as she walks past us, going back up to her room. Robert gives me a wide-eye.

"You'll do fine." I say, whispering into his ear.

Ethan beckons for Robert and Robert slowly makes his way towards the door. The door slams just as I wince, expecting screams. Instead, I'm shocked by how quiet it is. Robert also knows how to hold in fear, I guess. Why else wouldn't I hear any movement? I listen and only hear the quiet murmurs of the Erudite. I hear a bit of laughter. What would be so funny?

After what seems like seconds, Robert comes out, his face red. Connor is the one leading him out, but only points for him to leave. He seems to be red in the face. I enter the somewhat dark room, and see that all the leaders and Erudite are laughing, except Connor and my mother. They seem only angry. When the leaders catch sight of me, they start laughing again like crazy.

"What happened?" I ask, turning to Connor.

Connor snorts, "Let's just say you would rather not know."

I bite my lip. What could be so bad? I see a screen where they must be watching the fears. I look at my mother. Her eyes are on the clipboard. She's busy scribbling down notes, but I can't believe how similar she looks to her mother. Her hair is just a bit longer, but other than that, she could be a complete clone. I try swallowing my tears.

I sit on the reclining chair as Connor takes a syringe and pushes my hair to the side. I feel his cold fingers on my neck. Then he inserts the syringe. I wince at the sudden feeling.

"You'll be facing you worst fears in a few seconds," Connor says, not meeting my eyes. "The serum will go into effect in about a minute. You will stay in one fear until you control your heart rate."

When everything seems to be fading away I hear Connor say something.

"Breathe, Emma. Breathe."

Those are the last words I hear.

* * *

When my eyes open, I find myself in a small box. The first question that pops into my mind is: how did I get here? When I touch the box, I try containing a scream when it moves closer to me. Is that even possible? Why does the box look so strange? Before I can make sense of anything, the box starts closing in. Closer, and closer. I gasp, holding in my screams. Screams. Fears.

_I'm in a simulation_. I think. Then everything pops up at me. I realize it: my fear is being in condensed spaces. I knew I was claustrophobic before when I had to be in an elevator with lots of people, but it was never such a big deal. Now it is. I remember what Connor said to me: breathe.

I take a deep breath. This isn't real. I take my hands and push them out. I remember how weak I was against Jasper. The box closes in. _No_, I breathe in and out through my nose. Then, I imagine myself with all the strength possible. With one great push, the box falls apart and I stand up, smiling. Then I frown. Why are my clothes wet? I look down.

I'm in a glass tank. The water is at my waist and is slowly becoming higher and higher. I try hitting the glass, but all it does is hurt my fists. I scream, pounding on the tank. There is no one here though. I almost forget about the simulation, screaming and kicking until my legs hurt. The water is at my head level now. I scream and then the water brings me under.

_Calm down_, I think to myself. Taking a deep breath, I grab whatever air is left in the small space and dive down, opening my eyes. The water stings my eyes, but I can see through the water clearer than I should in reality. The glass is just as thin. As thin as… I bite my lip, thinking. Ice! Yes, ice!

I tap the "glass". Yes, it's ice. Then taking a fist, I punch it and it breaks, just like ice. I flow out of the glass tank, gasping for air as the water, including the ice disappears and I'm all dry again. Then I hear scuttling around me. My eyes widen as I see the tiny creatures appear. _Spiders_. I scream, backing up. I crash into the wall. The spiders are coming from all directions.

They're like water, flowing all around me. _Water_. My eyes widen and I turn, grabbing a door handle and open it. I overflow the tub. I try making the water come out faster, plugging the tub. The spiders are advancing. Just as they're about to jump on me, the water flows just enough to wipe them all off the ground. My breathing steadies, and before I know it, I'm surrounded by a bunch of children.

I don't hate kids — it's just that I find it's really hard to communicate with them. I try telling them to go sit and eat snack, why I don't know. They don't listen and instead throw food around. That frustrates me. How is this a fear? I grab a kid and sit him at the table. He laughs in my face and runs away. Then, I feel a wave bringing me off my feet. I'm in the middle of an ocean. I'm being pulled in every direction. Screaming, I wave my hands up and down.

_Control_. I think to myself._ Control!_ That's my fear. Not being able to control something. Well, I can control stuff. I imagine this is one the Amity machine. I feel a button near me and press it. The water flow changes and I laugh as I splash in the water. Next thing I know, I'm sitting on a chair. No restraints or anything, so I'm confused. Then I see another girl in front of me. There is a person holding out a gun.

"Would you like to kill her or should I?" The voice sounds like Ethan.

"No!" I shout, getting up, but a bunch of arms restrain me now.

"Don't kill anyone!" I plead, and I watch helplessly as he raises the gun. I shut my eyes. I watch in shock as the simulation changes. Now in front of me is my family. I gasp slightly.

Jenny, Robert, Leanna, Connor, my mother and my father stand in front of me. My mother wears an expression I've never seen her wear in real life. At least, she's never had that expression with me. My _father_ is who I'm looking at though. I step forward, my hand reaching for him. Before I get to him a gun is forced into my hands.

"I'm…supposed to _shoot_ them?" My voice is strained.

I don't need an answer. This is my fear. That I will be responsible for my friend and family's deaths. I will be that one that kills them. It surprises me though, that I actually care about my mother. I don't even know why my father is here. He doesn't even exist in my real life anymore.

"It's okay, honey," My father says. "Go on."

My eyes tear up. Why does that sound so familiar?

"Emilia," My mother says. I don't complain her using my real name. "I love you."

I choke. I can't do this.

"Emma," Jenny's kind smile. "It's okay."

Robert nods along with Leanna.

"No! This is wrong!" I say, screaming now. I throw the gun on the ground and walk over to them, my eyes hard and turn. "If you want to shoot them, you will have to shoot me first!"

Then I hear the gun go off.


	20. Chapter 19: Visiting Day

I wake, my hands sweating, my breathing irregular. The Erudite are silent. Instead of my mother writing, they all scribble furiously and even Connor is too shocked to move. My mother looks at me, her eyes wide with surprise. Her mouth is open, and she seems to be trying to get words out. Ethan is the only one who isn't in shock and he helps me out of the metal chair. I wipe my hands against my pants.

"That was good," says Ethan as he brings me out. "Two minutes and six fears."

"Two minutes?" I repeat. It felt like hours.

Ethan nods as it takes me a while for everything to sink in. I did it in two minutes, and from the way Ethan speaks, I think he holds some sort of respect for my two minutes. Six fears must not be a lot then, it must be pretty small.

"Elizabeth!" I hear Connor shout and I turn to see the door slamming, and my mother walking in the opposite direction. The way her hair covers her face, I have a feeling she's upset. She walks right past me without noticing me and then just goes up the elevator.

"Is everything alright?" The woman at the desk, leans over the desk.

Connor nods waving her away as he pulls me to the side. "Emma!" His voice is strangled like someone just tried choking him. "Your father, he…" He looks away for a moment unable to say anything.

"Does that matter?" I snap.

"Yes," He says, grabbing my shoulders.

I shut my mouth, my shoulders tense. Connor has never lost control like this before. "You don't understand, do you? You are the first person to really bring up his image in a long time. The Erudite and Dauntless leaders all saw that. This is a big deal. _He_ is a big deal, at least to the people who know who he really is." He points at the room. "Everyone in there knew who he was!"

Connor shakes his head, "Does 'watch out' mean nothing to you? Be careful, Emma. If you keep catching Ethan's attention, bad things will happen."

"It doesn't matter." I say, swallowing back the tears. Everything he says really hurts. I push his arm away and head up the elevator. I walk into my room and then cry into my covers.

I saw my father.

That's all that matters.

* * *

"_Daddy," I say, drinking something that makes my stomach feel funny. I point at the stars. "They're very pretty. They sparkle daddy." I drink the drink again, giggling as the weird taste makes my mouth feel weird._

_ "Yes," My dad pulls me closer, giving me a hug. "Just like you. You sparkle."_

_ "Mommy never comes with us." I say, my tiny hands grabbing the straw of the drink. "Why?" My voice echoes around the empty place._

_ "Your mother is a busy person." Dad says, his eyes sparkling. "She's very smart and she is always busy with work." He smiles a bit as he tickles me. I laugh, my high-pitched voice echoing around the tall buildings. "She really wants to be here."_

_ "Daddy I'm tired." I say, rubbing my eyes even as the drink bubbles inside of me. "But I want to see mommy."_

_ "It's okay, honey." Dad says, patting my head. "Go on. When mommy comes, I'll wake you."_

_ "Promise?" I yawn, leaning my head against my dad._

_ "Promise." Dad promises._

_ I close my eyes._

* * *

I wake up with a jolt, as I slowly realize I'm sweating again. Those words are the same that my dad said in the simulation. I've never met my dad. He died when I was very young, right? My mother says I've never actually talked to him. So why did I have that memory? Did my brain come up with that just to make me feel worse?

Shivering, I look at the time. There are a few more minutes before I required to go to the cafeteria to watch the scores. These are the first things of the Games that the audience gets to see, our rankings. With my hand, I push my hair back, trying to cover my red eyes as I head down the elevator by myself. This reminds me of the small box in my fear landscape.

"Jacob?" My voice goes up an octave as Jacob enters the elevator. His eyes are red and puffy too. He doesn't speak but press the "lobby" button. I don't even need to ask where Luke is. The infirmary probably. "Jacob…are you okay?"

"Yes." He says, but his tone suggests the opposite.

When Jenny and Brittany join us they both look very upset. Brittany's knuckles are red and Jenny looks like she was crying. When Leanna joins us, we are all quiet. She's not crying anymore. Maybe she's all cried out. All she does is just keep looking at me.

I'm wary of how many people are in the elevator. I tell myself that it's because of the fear landscape, that I'm wary. Normally, I'm okay with this many people in the elevator.

When the doors open, I burst out. Robert and the rest of the Abnegation are already down there, all looking shaken up. Jasper even looks stunned still, and that's what makes me happier. At least I don't look like I've cried a lot.

"Robert?" I say, grabbing his arm. He jerks his arm away, his eyes wide. I pull my hand back nervously, looking at him, eyes wide. "Is something wrong?"

I remember the laughter of the leaders when I entered.

"No, nothing." He mumbles as he pushes past me. He didn't wait for me at the elevators, and that's how I know something is wrong. He always does. We're a group. He even said so himself.

"Is this going to separate us?" My voice is demanding now.

I see Ethan behind me as he taps me on the shoulder and the others walk into the cafeteria. He's smirking. "You know, for someone who was crying, you actually have a very strong act up right now." He says.

"You…" I don't even know what to call him. "You know why Robert is avoiding me, don't you? Don't forget I remember you were laughing."

Ethan gives me an innocent look before laughing hard. "Of course I do, but I think it would be better if you found out on your own." He laughs and then gives me a look. "Although, still, I am rather impressed by your fears. Let me tell you something: out of everyone, you had the least fears." He shrugs. "Of course the least fears is from Four, or known as Tobias Eaton."

The expression on his face tips me off that he wants to see my reaction. He knows that I know everything about my father. It's the same reason why he appeared in my fear landscape. I just push past him and enter the cafeteria. We are supposed to sit by faction, so I sit beside Robert who looks uneasy. I've never seen him like this, especially not around me.

"Robert," I say, as the rest of the tributes file in. "I just want you to know, whatever your fear was, the leaders found it funny. When I went in, they started laughing at me. So if I'm involved, I want to know."

Robert shakes his head, without speaking. I pinch my lips in a line and look away. I look at the leaders that are filing. The Dauntless leaders, the Amity representative, the Erudite leader, the Candor leader and Abnegation leaders. All the leaders are here for this "special" time. They step on a platform with my mother and I watch as my mother readjusts the mic. Her eyes are on me and she looks away when she realizes I realize she's looking at me.

Then, my mother starts talking.

"Today, our tributes have gone through a whole week of training." She says, reading off her paper, then smiling into the camera. "Their ranks will be showcased today. Tomorrow they will have a whole day to prepare before their day in the arena." She smiles one more time before motioning towards the screen.

My eyes go to the screen because people watching will have the scores displayed, and not my mother. My mother still speaks into the microphone however and then says, "At number ten, we have Jacob Peterson from Candor with a score of four."

The leaders behind her clap, but it's slow and I can see the Amity representative, Demetria Reyes, not looking too happy. Rose, leader of Candor, doesn't look too happy either, but she keeps her Candor mouth shut. I look at my mother as she watches the slide change.

The slide shows a picture of the tribute and then their faction along with their rank and score. It's the Abnegation boy. I think I'm going to start referring to him as the "pansycake" as he was the one that didn't jump off the train. As my mother moves on, I expect to see me in eighth, but instead I see Luke. My eyes widen. The tributes are clapping, so I join in.

"At seventh, we have Brittany Luc from Amity with a score of seven." My mother smiles at Brittany, even though I can tell it's not a genuine smile. The leaders clap, but I can tell not all of them want to. The Dauntless are cheering though. Connor smiles slightly.

They go to sixth which is the other Abnegation boy. Brittany looks slightly insulted because he got the same score as her. He must have done something that made them think he was better. That, I know, will get Brittany to hunt him down.

Then it dawns on me: that's what they want. Scowling a bit, I look as the slide changes and I see Jenny's face. Jenny's ranked fifth. She smiles a bit as I clap for her.

I haven't been shown yet. This is actually surprising because I didn't think that I did that good. The next slide comes up and I see that it's Jasper. He got a score of seven too, but it's obvious he was one of the better ones of us. It means I got higher than him, but there must be a reason for that. The next slide after is Leanna. I clap, smiling widely. Leanna's eyes are still red but she manages a small smile, and even a chuckle I think.

Next my mother announces Robert as second. They haven't called me so that must mean…_I got first!_ My eyes are wide as my mother announces the first place. How? I lost to Jasper. I see Jasper giving me the evil eye from across the room.

Of course. It's just so they can hunt me down first. Scores are what people base off who they should hunt first. The higher, the faster you get taken down.

With that, my mother concludes the broadcast and we are all congratulated. Connor gives me a high-five and Ethan congratulates me. Jenny comes over to me and gives me a big hug. Her eyes are wide, filled with excitement, "You got ranked first, Emma! _First_! Can you believe it?"

The leaders come around congratulating us. I shake Demetria Reyes' hand for the first time. I'm surprised that she can also do an Abnegation greeting when she greets Leanna. I heard Demetria only became elected as the representative because her mother was an amazing one and Demetria is expected to be a great one too. I guess she's done good so far then.

"You did great too!" I hear Robert congratulating Jenny. "Fifth!"

"Hey!" Jenny says, grinning, nudging him. "_You_ got second! That's just amazing!" She turns towards me, her smile wide. "I can't wait to see my parents tomorrow… I really miss them."

"You have any siblings?" I ask.

"Yep." Jenny grins at me. "A younger brother. He's weird, but you know, he's a brother. You gotta love siblings sometimes." She sighs. "You know, I was kind of hoping I would see him grow up."

I don't know what to say. So instead, I choose to not comment. Leanna gives me a hug which is strange since the Abnegation don't like physical contact, but then again this is the woman who fought someone.

"Congratulations," Leanna murmurs into my ear.

Then before I can say anything, she walks away and congratulates everyone else. Robert congratulates me and I congratulate him back, but I don't ask about his fear landscape. If I ask him now, it may ruin our bond and mess up our chances in the Games. I walk out of the cafeteria. I don't have anything to say to anyone. I only have one day left before I am sent to my death.

"So, Connor," I hear my mother saying. I stop at the end of the hallway and hide in an intersection. "May I ask how Emilia found out?"

Then I hear her stopping Connor. "No, forget that. I don't even need to ask, do I?"

"No?" Connor's voice goes up an octave. "Look, Elizabeth, I don't know —"

"You know everything." My mother says. Then she stops Connor from talking again and says, "You said my name correctly. _That's_ how I know when you've done something wrong."

That silences Connor as they walk away. I don't want to hear my mother reprimanding Connor. Technically, he doesn't deserve it. I wanted to know, and being nice he helped me get it. I purse my lips. Maybe it _is_ his fault. When is Connor ever nice? I frown slightly and then press the "up" button on the elevator. When I enter the elevator, I press the "Erudite" floor.

I just want to sleep one night peacefully before the Games.

* * *

The next morning, after breakfast, the parents arrive in, a lot of them rushing in and giving hugs to their sons and daughters. Some of them, like Luke and Jacob's parents worry over them, and then say how disappointed they are and things like that. I see Robert who sits at the table by himself, lonely.

"You know, I'm not surprised my parents didn't show up." He says gloomily. "They can be nice for a second, but then they forget about you."

Then I hear a squeal and two figures rush up to Robert from behind, giving him a hug. "Mom, dad!" Robert laughs as I back away and rush back into the hallway. The cafeteria is too crowded. I don't like it.

"Did you have to get away?" A familiar voice asks from behind me. I turn to find Connor, a little too close to me for my liking. As I step back Connor sighs. "Any sign of your mother, Emma?"

"No." I say. Then I scowl, "But that was expected."

Connor takes my arms and for a minute, I think he's going to break them, when he pulls me into a hug. It's unexpected, but I don't pull away. I need someone to comfort me, as much as I hate to admit it. It's my last day I'll probably live. I swallow hard as Connor's arm form protectively around me, squeezing me.

"Connor," I say into his shirt. "I don't want to die."

It sounds childish, and it is, but it's the truth. I've said it so many times, but now, at this time, I finally realize what I really mean. I look up at him and his brown eyes stare back right into my gray ones. He lets his head drop and then we stay still for a few moments.

Then, into my hair he murmurs, "You won't."

After a few more moments, we pull apart and Connor flushes red before looking away, scratching the back of his head. He's nervous. I know that gesture. He only does that when he's nervous. I smile at him then grab his hand and swing it up and down. I tilt my head.

"You want to pretend you're my uncle?" I ask, grinning. "I need some company today. Jenny's with her parents and so is Robert."

"I think we should meet them." Connor says, pretending to have a gruff voice. "I would love to meet your friends, Emilia. Why don't you show me them?" I laugh and slap his arm as I drag him into the cafeteria.

"Hey Jenny!" I say as I reach her.

Her little brother looks at me. He can't be much older than ten.

"Hey Emma!" Jenny says, breaking apart from the hug she got from her mother. She nods at her parents. "Mom, Dad this is Emma. James, this is Emma." She nods at her little brother.

"Hi." James says, looking up at me. He looks wary of me.

Her parents are nice and shake my hand in greeting. I smile at them as Connor drags me over to Robert's parents. We chat a bit and then we go around, meeting everyone but the Abnegation parents. I see only the boys from Abnegation. Not Leanna. I give Connor a look.

"What?" He says, his mouth drops open. "You only look at me that way when I do something wrong."

"Where's Leanna?" I ask. I exit through the back doors. Leanna is walking around the garden, strolling and then stopping at flowers and looking at them. The back is huge. My eyes widen as I drop Connor's arm and look around. "Leanna!"

Leanna turns, smiling when she sees me. "Hey Emma!" she says. Then she pauses. "Where's your mother?"

"She's not going to pay me a visit if that's what you're thinking." I say thickly.

The Abnegation woman covers her mouth slightly and then says, "I apologize for insulting you…I didn't mean to, it's just I thought your mother was going to come." She smiles at me. "So…how are you doing?"

"I'm good." I say. This is Abnegation talk. "How about you?"

"Good." Leanna sighs.

Connor looks uneasy around us. Leanna tilts her head and then speaks to Connor, "Thank you. For not telling Elizabeth Emma's factions." Her voice is soft. Connor glances at her, uncomprehending.

I nudge him, "The aptitude test, dummy."

"Oh!" Connor jumps suddenly and smiles at Leanna. "No problem. I would never put Emma in that kind of —"

"Excuse me?" I ask, turning over so he looks over at me. I knew he cared before, but the way he throws it out so simply now, I wonder what changed. Connor turns red as he fumbles over his words to come up with an excuse. Leanna and I exchange a look before bursting into laughter.

Leanna, Connor and I hang out and chat with each other. We eat lunch together and exchange jokes. Leanna talks about her life in Abnegation and I tell her about life in Erudite. Connor tells us how exciting life in Dauntless is, but the way he describes it makes me feel like it's the complete opposite. Leanna and I always laugh together, and Connor tries making us laugh too.

Ethan joins us from time to time, and I'm not entirely sure why. He joins us as a likeable person, and not someone who tried to threaten me days ago. By the time most of the parents leave, Connor leaves and then it's the same old group again — Leanna, Jenny, Brittany, Robert, Luke, Jacob and I. I hate to admit it, but it really isn't the same without Connor. I glance at Leanna and she seems to be fine though.

By dinner time the excitement of parents has died down. My mother hasn't even said hi to me the whole day. Everyone around me knows to keep down the mention of my mother. Once, Jacob mentioned it and then I left the group. I only came back after some coaxing from Leanna.

Jacob and Luke chat between each other, tense around Brittany. Brittany, Jenny, Robert, Leanna and I chat together. We try to eat our last meal and try to ignore the fact it may be out last meal. I take my spoon and make circles in the soup as Jenny makes huge gestures and I laugh along with the others.

I can't imagine any of them dying. They're all so amazing people. Even Brittany who beat up Luke, and I know she only did that for the points. She's not actually a bad person.

By the time dinner is over, everyone parts ways. Robert and I go up to the Erudite floor and just as we're about to part ways, Robert stops me. He lives on the other side of the Erudite floor, so if he were to visit me, it would be quite a walk. He looks me in the eye and says, "Good luck tomorrow, Emma. I'll always have your back."

"Same here," I say, nodding.

We embrace — I'm surprised by the gesture — and then part ways. Just as I'm about to open the door to my room, my heart thumps. I open the door. It's already unlocked. Someone's been in my room. My throat turns dry. Why would someone break into my room? I cautiously walk around. Nothing seems touched yet.

When I get to the washroom, I find a sticky note that's typed out. It reads: _ At the place you shot him, at the time he died I will meet you._

For a minute, I'm speechless. The place I shot him? I didn't shoot _anyone_! Then it hits me. The place I shot him.

_Him_. My father. At the time he died. My father? I try racking my brain. We received the news the night he died. We received the new around twelve, and it takes about an hour drive so… I count my fingers as it hits me. Eleven. Eleven o' clock at the fear landscape place.

I look at the clock. It's almost eleven.

Who could be meeting me?

I rack my brain as I slip out of my room, holding the note in my hands. Where I shot him. Only the Dauntless leaders know about my fears. Could it be Connor? As I go down the stairs to avoid the sound of the elevator, I shake my head. I doubt Connor knows what time my father died. Then again, he could.

No, he probably doesn't. He was still in Erudite back then, just a little kid. As I get to the lobby, I tiptoe to the room without the lady at the desk seeing me, I rack my brain. Then I think I know who it is.

Who else was there for my fears? _Her_.

As I walk into the room of the fear landscape and the door closes, she turns on the light and then I know I'm right. It is _her_.

My mother wants to talk.


End file.
